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I was raised to "be seen and not heard". My parents' response to most of my questions were "Shut up, child". My father never gave me compliments - only criticisms. Nothing I did was good enough. I remember he once mumbled, "I love you". He was walking away when he said it.

As a child I had a strong will to survive. My father was physically & verbally abusive to my mother, my sister and me. He once hit me so hard I passed out.

I eventually ran away from home, was in a foster home and a group home. I had my own apartment before I graduated high school. I got accepted into American University two years later. I survived.

I didn't thrive. At college I had no voice where I continually felt inferior. My professors would ask me what I thought and I could only respond with a blank stare. I was also in my own abusive relationship that mimicked that of my parents. My boyfriend once beat me and afterwards raped me while I had an icepack on my face. He threatened me with more violence if I didn't comply.

Still I survived. Still I didn't thrive. Twenty years later I realized I had to overcome the voice in my head that said, "You're not good enough" and "Who do you think you are?". I wanted to accomplish something I really wanted but I first had to believe I was worthy.

My first two goals were to finish a music project and start up my t-shirt business again. I stopped my business shortly after I started it due to that pesky voice in my head. I'll never forget there were times I'd be in tears at my computer because that voice would berate me constantly. I ignored it this time, however, and continued working. As a result, I completed some songs for the first time. Here's an instrumental track as an example:

I also started my business again. I'll never forget how afraid I was to ask someone to give me money for my products. Again, I thought I wasn't worthy. Now I've sold many shirts and have lots of heartfelt feedback from extremely happy customers who LOVE my shirts.

VOF is the perfect opportunity for me because I want to not only highlight those intrepid revolutionaries of the past but also highlight those of the present. Idolizing and romanticizing our past heroes is not honoring them if we don't stand up to the injustices laid before us now. To honor them is to recognize the heroes of today and support them. I wish to support these current heoroes by helping to get their stories out.

This is the connection I want my customers to make. As my company grows the impact it makes on the world will too because 10% is always donated to one of 5 causes. Ultimately I want my business to become a movement.

Then I will thrive.


Nakinti's picture

Dear Nechesa, I am happy u

Dear Nechesa,
I am happy u have succeeded in overcoming that devilish voice that always stood out to let u down.
You are a very special woman, a woman of voice and action.
I believe in the inner power that u possess.
You will continue to me!
Sending you a basket full of love from Cameroon

Nakinti B. Nofuru
2013 VOF Correspondent
Reporter for Global Press Institute
Bamenda - Cameroon

Nechesa's picture

Thank you!

Nakinti, thank you so much for that basket of love. I've received so much support and love on here. It softens my heart.

Thanks again. Sending you loads of love from Brooklyn!


Mukut's picture

You are strong!

You are a strong lady Nechesa. Your voice is powerful and i am sure you will go places.

Keep up the spirit.


Mukut Ray

bhavna's picture

Hi Dear

Pleased to learn you have done away with the negatives that popped up in your mind.
Every person is worthy human. keep on believing in yourself as you do.
More power to you, best wishes!

Dear Nechesa,
You are a stronger women once you believed in you and you making other stronger when you sharing this and the voice that things could be better and we got to stand for our self.
Thank you for sharing this all the best

It is never too late to try make your way to your dream and left up your expectation.
Sudanes Women Building Peace

Nechesa's picture

Thank you, sisters!

Your words of encouragement are healing for me. Before I've felt so alone in this battle with surviving in the world. Now I feel so comforted, affirmed and supported here. It touches me more than you'll ever know.

With Love,


Taha Mirani's picture


Dear Nechesa,

My heart is throbbing as I read your piece. It is amazing to have you here, brave lady. You are an inspiration. Love your spirit.



Taha Mirani

Iryna's picture

Good enough

And this "You're not good enough"?.. Nechesa, really, can you imagine how many women (including me) recognize themselves in these words? I bet most of us. Who knows why but to be born as a man is much more cool than as a woman. And all their lives so many women live just to serve to men, to those ones who deserve and those ones who don't... I quit! I know I am much cooler than so many men around me, and I want we prove that we deserve all, and even more ;)
Thank you for your post, Nechesa! I enjoyed!

Sulo39's picture

You are an Inspiration

Dear Nechesa,

You are an inspiration to all of us who are struggling to overcome our own struggles for survival and success.

Good luck!


Jan K Askin's picture

The Power of the Inner Voice

Dear Nechesa,

Your article powerfully demonstrates the notion that we must first master our inner voices of insecurity and inferiority before we can become a powerful voice for others. Yours was a difficult struggle followed by a joyous overcoming in both business and creative endeavor.

I applaud you.

I encourage you to continue to share your powerful inner voice with the outer audience in need of such role models.

Your sister in the US,

Jan Askin

Jan Askin

CMedansky's picture

You are a heroic!

Thank you for sharing you voice Nechesa. I love the positive vibe and excitement in your music! Your story reminds me that there are so many possibilities for women to share our voices in creative ways that will lift and unite us.

Sending you much love and encouragement to keep thriving!

Nechesa's picture

Thank you!

Thank you so much for your message. I really appreciate it.


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