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The pain of being a housewife in a polygamous marriage

Jacky's funeral

As a daily routine,i visited the cyber cafe in my town, opened my email account and there it was...an email from a friend working in Nairobi-Kenya. It read, 'Please apply, it's worth and you'll never regret. Please don't ignore!'.

It really struck me hard and i was like, what is this i shouldn't ignore. I hurriedly opened the mail and,"World Pulse" there it was. Very curious to know more about this thing called world pulse, i keenly scrolled down page by page and wow! i was so amazed and impressed at the kind of opportunity women around the globe have to raise their voices and tell their stories freely without any fear,discrimination and any other hindrance.It's them,their pen and Web 2.0.

I said to myself, why not? I am i different from them? This is a great opportunity for me too and world pulse the place for me to be as a woman who wants her voice to be heard and stories from her community told to the world.

There and then,i remembered the life my late sister who unfortunately passed on early this year lived in her matrimonial home. She went through a lot of pain all her married life. Jacky married an early age of 25years. It was struggle by struggle given that she had not gone to any college to gain more skills after her form four. She faced a lot of cruelty and opposition from her parent in-laws given the fact that she miscarried her first child.The husband was convinced and encouraged to get a second wife of which he did.

For the great love my parents had for her, they took her to a tailoring college something the husband and his family did not like. After college, she went back to her husbands house but life was not easy.As much as he claimed to love her, my sister was so frustrated. She wasn't provided with anything in the house, could not visit anyone, talk to anyone or do any business for all they wanted is her to be a housewife and do farm work. So the tailoring skills acquired in college were a waste.

Jacky really struggled with our support as her family to leave that kind of life but things never worked out because of the family she was married to. Unfortunately because of that polygamous life, her husband infected her with the HIV/AIDS virus, something we realized when it was too late. She had to succumb to the illness.

That, made me register to participate in the voices of our future applicants and here i am on the second assignment still energetic to carry on to the end.The knowledge acquired here cant just be found on the streets but from a dedicated group around the globe to see to it that we as women are heard and our stories told.

As a woman, i am and will get somewhere through world pulse-voices of our future.This journey fits into my personal vision for the future of my community lies in my hands and i have a home for my voice to be heard.
Had no other place to tell of my late sisters story but now am glad and re leaved that i have, thanks to the Voices of our future on World pulse.

These are some of the issues i would want to be addressed in my community, for i wouldn't want any other woman to go through what my late sister experienced as a housewife.
Its so painful for she would be still alive and here with us.

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Comments

Petunia007's picture

so touching!

I pray we come to a time in Africa when we are able to separate bad from good cultural practices. May the soul of your sister rest in peace. Keep your voice soaring.

Sharontina's picture

Sorry!

I am sorry for your sister but feel peaceful with the thought that you have found WP for your relief. Now that you have made up your mind to participate in this vocal uprising i wish you all success in bringing positive changes in the lives of your women.

Love.

Merlin Sharontina

mukoche khatondi's picture

Yes!

Hi,
Indeed i now have a place to raise my voice and let it all out. Wil be more than glad to help women in my community.

Lilian Khatondi

Rhobai's picture

A sory worthy

Mukoche's story is quite commendable. I happen to come from Kenya together with her and more so in the same Western province where indeed house wives are only there to give birth, take care of their children and husbands. Many jobless or rather illiterate women suffer most. They work like donkeys, till the land, carry out all house chaos, become maids to their husbands by washing for them their clothes, oh!! they are living miserable lives. That is why we have come up on their behalf to have their voices heard , spread the word and eventually have solutions to ease the situation for the present and coming generations.

Sorry my sister Mukoche and may the Almighty Father Rest your sister's soul in eternal life.

My advice is that you must try all the best not to fall suit. Lets educate our girls as they prepare for marriage. They should have enough knowledge on how to choose and take care of themselves especially in marriage.

Nakinti's picture

It is well...everything

It is well...everything happens for a reason.
I am glad you are able to share ur sister's story....and to know that u are feeling relieved.
I wish u luck here.
Sending u love from Cameroon

Nakinti B. Nofuru
2013 VOF Correspondent
Reporter for Global Press Institute
Bamenda - Cameroon
Email: nakinti@globalpressinstitute.org
nakintin@yahoo.com

bhavna's picture

Hugs

Sorry to hear about your sister, but I am sure she is still alive and will remain so in your words and work. Let the voices of the unheard be made heard, be the change in the lives of those who desperately need it.

Keep up, best wishes!

mukoche khatondi's picture

Hi Bhavna, Thanks for the

Hi Bhavna,
Thanks for the best wishes...am glad i have so many sisters now all thanks to world pulse.
Lots of love

Lilian Khatondi

Binti Kamau's picture

Khatondi

I am glad you have decided to talk...keep talking we'll listen to you and each other and in one voice we shall act... I encourage you make as many sisters with VOF not to replace Jacky but actually to keep her candle blazing.

Regards,

Binti

No Retreat, No Surrender

mukoche khatondi's picture

Yes Binti,thanks alot. am

Yes Binti,thanks alot. am glad i have amillion sisters...
Lots of love

Lilian Khatondi

michelle904's picture

So touched by your sister's

So touched by your sister's story. Thank you for sharing it. I bet that she is proud of you.

binapatel33's picture

Thank you

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and vision with us. What has happened to your sister is very unfortunate, but have hope that she will have the strength to make it through her days. I have hope that you will create a channel for women in your community to move forward towards breaking the traditions of polygamy and create freedom. Stay inspired, your desire is very transparent and I know you will succeed!!

Kind Regards,
Bina Patel
hc Mediate, LLC
www.hcmediate.com

mukoche khatondi's picture

welcome

Am glad you read my post.All is well now
lots of love

Lilian Khatondi

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