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I am The Voice.

“Ugly.”
“Retard.”
“Nerd.”
“Wipe your face off the earth with acid. I’ll even pay for it. Just do it, you’re so ugly.”
“Loser.”
“Fat pig.”
I heard it all the time: while walking down the hallways, or sitting inside class, skimming through a textbook, while eating a snack, or while just waiting for a ride back home. This is just the tip of the iceberg: the huge, glacial edifice of hostility and hatred ran deeper, all through High School and College.
It didn’t matter what I did – or didn’t do – I was me, and that was difficult for people around me to accept. I had my ambitions and dreams. But to them, I was nothing more than a joke, a stimulus for cruel laughter and insults. To them, I was supposed to be invisible, if the earth below didn’t do me a favour by caving in and swallowing me whole.
For years, being the one that got called these unsavoury things, the one that grew up trying to hide or get lost in the crowd in the hallway of High School or College, the one that tried to meld into the background so I was a wallflower, it was an uphill climb. For years, I heard the same thing, laid over me like dollops of thick cream, until it became one with my skin.

Whenever I wanted to try something I thought I might be good at, the words I had heard swilled about in my head. I would lie down until the feeling of wanting to give something a shot went away. Trusted friends were mythical creatures. When people were nice, it felt like they were doing me a favour – or worse still, like they were being nice to get something out of me.

Until I found my voice online, and until this voice of mine was received with a thunderous welcome.

I joined World Pulse on October 21, 2012. When I began posting on World Pulse, I opened a floodgate to a sisterhood of sorts. My sisters from everywhere in the world gave me the love and appreciation that “friends” didn’t. They cared, and they were never ashamed to show that they cared. With that, my voice grew stronger. For the first time, the wind blew in my face and I loved it. I went from strength to strength and tried new things, succeeding at them, even.

That’s what led me to apply for the Voices of the Future Program. Participating in an adventure that would bring forth many, many women like me to the forefront, and encouraging us to be the voices of change, activism and the truth, I look upon this movement as a beacon of light that would take me forward to fight for every cause that I am passionate about: whether it is bullying in schools or rape in conflict.

I was a voice of the past, I am a voice of the Now, and I will always be, the voice of the future.

Comments

Mukut's picture

YOU are the voice

Beautiful. Yes, speak up. Never be quiet. WP has been that kind of support system for all of us, whose voices otherwise got lost somewhere in the crowd.

Am so glad i met you here and many more wonderful people from around the world. It is indeed a globe of sisterhood.

Thank you for standing up and being who you are. You rock !

love,

Mukut Ray

kirthijay's picture

Thank you :)

You are so kind, Mukut! I totally agree - WP is totally that support system for us <3 Thank you SO much for listening to this voice, and I love this sisterhood.

You totally rock <3
Me

pelamutunzi's picture

totally agree

you never know how w are all similar until u start sharing problems and solutions. in your piece i felt u were a zimbabwean for i could have almost sworn that was my unirvesity campus u were describing. if issues are similar we can fight them together

we may be powerless to stop an injustice but let there never be a time we fail to protest.
regards
pela

kirthijay's picture

Oh dear! Isn't that such a

Oh dear! Isn't that such a sad thing, that all of us face such rough treatment when we are really not threats to those that treat us thus?

I think it is that we are united souls, dear friend - Zimbabwean or Indian, our challenges are one, and we will fight them with grace, together! <3

Sharontina's picture

Dear Kirthi

Dear Kirthi,

i too go with the words of Mukut. Yeah, otherwise we wouldnt have met wonderful people like you and other dear sweethearts around the globe doing wonder just being one among the crowd but doing their bit to the community expecting nothing.

YOU are the voice and now this voice has become a thunder. Unique and outstanding!

God Bless

Merlin Sharontina

kirthijay's picture

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much dear Sharontina! This love and kindness is so wonderful - I am so grateful to you for being such a pillar of support and source of inspiration. Thank you for everything <3 <3 <3 <3

Precious M's picture

Your voice is your treasure

Dear Kirthi,

Your voice is your treasure. And yes you are the voice of the future! Your voice is so unique. I love your writing style, your choice of words...you are amazing!

Precious

My pen speaks

kirthijay's picture

Thank you :)

<3 <3 <3 Thank you so much Precious! It feels lovely to hear that from you!

Pooja Pant's picture

To be quoted:

"I was a voice of the past, I am a voice of the Now, and I will always be, the voice of the future."

kirthijay's picture

Thank you Pooja <3

Thank you Pooja <3

Aminah's picture

Keep at it Kirthi. You are a

Keep at it Kirthi.
You are a voice of reckoning and a voice of our future.

Often times the society is so confused and is too late to realize that everyone has it in them to contribute to the society and its well being. We just need be supportive of each other.

Regards
Aminah

Salaam
Aminah

kirthijay's picture

<3 <3 Thank you dear Aminah!

<3 <3 Thank you dear Aminah! We certainly should be supportive of each other always!

Anita Muhanguzi's picture

You go gal

For sure you have said it right. You are the voice of the future and no one can take that away from you. Stay blessed my dear sister.

Mrs. Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Head of Legal and Advocacy
Centre for Batwa Minorities
a.kiddu@gmail.com
cfmlegal@gmail.com
Skype: mrs_muhanguzi

kirthijay's picture

Thank you so much dear

Thank you so much dear sister! <3

Lylinaguas's picture

Stay as You Are!

We all have that certain beauty to illuminate and you certainly have that. You found your voice and have become that voice for so many. So don't stop being that voice because it is what gives hope and courage to those who may have lost it when they thought no one heard them. Aaaand you are wonderful as you are! :)

Lylin

kirthijay's picture

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Absolutely,

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Absolutely, Lylin! You were one of the voices that gave ME courage to find mine!

THANK YOU!

<3

Dana W's picture

Hi Kirthijay, Thank you very

Hi Kirthijay,
Thank you very much for a beautiful and touching voice. Can’t imagine a world where people, mostly women, have no place to be heard and that amazing supporting system which can take us all to the next level.
Thank you very much for sharing your beautiful voice!
Dana

kirthijay's picture

Thank you so much Dana! I

Thank you so much Dana! I totally hear you - World Pulse is such a beautiful place to let our voices be heard!

<3 <3

J écoute's picture

Your powerful voice is a

Your powerful voice is a beacon of light for many! Please continue sharing so that others can be inspired and supported by you also!

J écoute

kirthijay's picture

<3 <3 <3 <3 Thank you SO

<3 <3 <3 <3 Thank you SO much, J écoute!

mikabo's picture

Thank you for sharing this ~

Dear Kirthijay,

Thank you for sharing this very intense and personal writing. It actually strikes a chord for me as well. I wonder about the circumstances of this writing. Why were you bullied so badly? Is this what happens to all girls where you live? It has a very intense tone to it and I can hear your passion for telling the truth. That is very inspirational. After all, it is really the only thing we need to do.... tell the truth until everyone can see it, hear it, know it.

Your piece was written almost like a poem and has the flair of an artist. The narrative style is very good. I can tell you are in the right place for obtaining your goals and objectives. Perhaps the injustice you have suffered came for a reason, so that you would be inspired to help others....

Thank you again.

Warmly,

MiKaBo

kirthijay's picture

Hi there MiKaBo, Thank you

Hi there MiKaBo,

Thank you for reading, and for commenting!

I don't quite know why I was bullied so easily, and so badly. I don't think it happens to all girls, but I do know a lot of girls who have suffered this. :(

Thank you so much for your kind words, it really, really is heartwarming to know I have your support and care!
Love,
Kirthi

mikabo's picture

Thanks for your response. We

Thanks for your response. We are listening!

MiKaBo

kirthijay's picture

<3

<3

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