My daughter is Teacher of the Year at her school. I know that much of her ability is because she was cherished by many even before she was born, and ever since. She also had access to many resources that were brought to her by excess resources of her parents and our communities. We had different communities, but we all cherished our child.
If there is one thing that I know with all certainty, it is that what we feel for our unborn children does make a difference in their souls as they struggle to grow from animals with human potential into fully human beings. In animal husbandry, it is understood that a stressed mother produces weaker babies. In humanity, we choose to believe that we are other than animals with a special sacred spark, which can be snuffed out.
Women must honor this truth. If we have no resources to support ourselves, we have no extras to offer to our children. We have been given the gift of control of our ability to procreate. We must, for the love of the child's sacred soul, choose to accept this control. If a man's only coping strategy is physical force, he is not suitable to be a spouse or partner in parenting.
We must wake up as women. A man with no compassion for the vulnerability of other animals (and human are animals) is not going to have compassion for our vulnerabilities when we are made more vulnerable by pregnancy and childcare responsibilities. None of us can run as fast or fight as hard while pregnant or carrying children on our hips.
We all want to be held and in partnerships with others, but until we, with or without partnerships, have excess resources, we should not believe that we are right in creating new life. New life takes immense focused energy, time, and other resources.
Anyone who has a child to secure his or her own place (or the family "name") in life or eternity is abusing the child. Children must be given complete freedom to become what they are meant to be, once they reach adulthood. Most have to move away from our communities, at least temporarily, in order to reach their full potential.
A child is a gift to the universe, not a personal present for our own use and entertainment. Unless extra resources are available, simply say "no" to procreation. You can "Go forth, be fruitful and multiply" your own talents and resources in so many other ways.
It may take a community to raise a child, but first, you must belong to a community with resources that they are willing to share in exchange for what you have to offer. Become fully yourself before you become a parent to others.