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The Vagina Monologue: Why Do We Feel Shy?

The cold winds were blowing hither and thither. The white stars were sparkling in the black sky. The streets’ lights were almost off. No more noise outside. Only birds chant and leave crackling. Silence and only silence that increased loneliness through her body after every second because she was alone, walking in the shadows of street’s trees. On her way home, suddenly four boys appeared. She did not get scare seeing those boys because she was confident though her figured seemed weak. As she was walking, boys started following her. They started teasing, but she did not hear even a single word because she had put fingers in her ears. Finally, they came near to her and overthrew themselves on her way. At this moment, she felt afraid because their faces and bodies were ready to attack her. One boy touched her shoulder, she slapped him. Again another boy dragged her orna, she punched him, too. When the third boy touched her breast, she could not do anything though she tried to defend herself. Finally, fourth boy touched her vagina and threw her on the road. As soon as he touched her vagina, she lost her sense. One by one, each boy had molested her vagina that she had kept safe since her childhood. After their work, boys run away from there when she took her last breath. She left everything, but her soul was waiting for someone to close her opened eyes and covered her nude vagina.

Nevertheless, you will wonder why I am telling you a story about vagina. You will start giggling, when I say vagina but why? Why will you laugh? Do not laugh because it is not a joke? It is a new piece of information for all of us because we have never tried to look at its importance before. Instead, we have ignored it because we think “vagina” is not something to talk openly. However, today vagina raises questions about it ignorance. The Vagina asks, “Girls, why do you ignore me all the time? Why do not you feel confident when I am discussed anywhere else? It does not matter how many times people talk about me, but why do you get angry? Why do I not sound like the word “love” to you, a word that you want to say willingly? If you do not feel proud of being a girl or a woman, how will you represent your identity?

If we try to answer vagina’s question, we will not be able to respond because we are cowards. We get bewildered, and feel shy when anyone talks about vagina. In addition, our societies and mothers have forbidden us to discuss such topics that seem awkward. Our mothers have told us that it is a shame to talk about our own vaginas because they are “dirty”. Therefore, a woman cannot confidently talk about any pain in vagina that is caused by someone. She even cannot defend herself because the instructions of her mother put pressure on her mind to forget what has happened with her vagina. Therefore, a woman or a girl, who are raped, cannot raise their voice for women’s rights because they feel shame to explore what has happened with them and their vaginas.

Social norms and mothers have dissuaded our minds about vagina since our childhood. We are told that it is a shame to discuss “vagina”, but we are never told that vagina is one of the parts of our body. Why is it shame to talk about vaginas? How can it be immoral to discuss our body part? Why do not our mothers and societies try to understand vaginas’ suffering? Instead, our mothers get bewildered though they can see sexual harassment of women. Do our mothers fear because if we are raped, we will not be to regain our honor? Do our mothers fear because society will create rumors about us, and say that it is our fault? Do our mothers think that society will say your daughters’ vaginas have affected family’s reputation? How can it be possible that vagina’s molestation of a girl fetch shame to her family? Is it because vagina does not only belong to a girl, but it is property of her family? We are indeed making mistake saying that “vagina is dirty or immoral” because it is the one that makes women beautiful, and natural beauty of a woman is identified through her vagina.

If we stick ourselves in traditional knowledge about vagina, we will not be able to defend ourselves because this knowledge prevents us from knowing new information about vagina. Therefore, vagina asks, “imagine when you were born and your parents’ saw you were a girl with vagina, but not a boy. How did they react? What were their feelings? Were they happy having you. However, are they still unhappy? Are they still not satisfied? Just think for a second how do your parents think about you?

I am confused why the debate about vaginas is similar in all the Asian countries, representing at AUW. I wonder whether it is the same all over the world or not? Once I asked my friends about their vaginas over here who responded that vagina is their honor. Vagina is not dirty, but the main problem is their society that has forbidden them to talk about vagina. Indeed, if I ask all of my friends at AUW, 99.9% will response that they cannot talk about vagina because their societies have abandoned them.

Before I end up my monologue, I would like you to think about your respective vaginas. Similarly, your vaginas will ask you when you repeat the word “society”. Vagina will ask, “Why society? What kind of society is that which does not even give freedom to talk about your own vaginas? This world is changing day by day; the culture of individual nation is changing. However, limiting yourselves in your cultural boundaries, how could you convey my message to all new generation that I am not something to feel reluctant and shame? But I am one of your body’s sensitive parts that have been portrayed negatively in your societies. In short, I want you to your break social constructs and raise your voice for the sake me, your pretty vagina so that your upcoming generations do not hesitate while taking my name on their lips”.

Comments

olutosin's picture

AGREED

Thank you for talking sense into my head, I feel shy too.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

consolata's picture

SO True

Great information, thanks for sharing.
I believe culture highly contributed to this.

Consolata,
WomansHope.

Iffat Gill's picture

More power!

More power to you for writing and sharing this piece! Best wishes.

Iffat Gill

lemayz's picture

Shame...

You're totally right, there's such a thick layer of shame over the concept that many of us cringe when we even hear the word mentioned!

When I was little, I used to wonder why cities were plastered with graffiti of penises, yet absolutely none of vaginas. My conclusion was that penises gave you power, and vaginas were something you should be ashamed of. It's like you said, "What kind of society is that which does not even give freedom to talk about your own vaginas?"

I hope, like you, that in future generations the paradigm will change, and "vagina" will be a word used with pride, not with shame.

Tiffany Purn's picture

Beautiful!

Aaliya,

Your creativity and honesty is inspiring!

I believe that women all over the world can relate to what you are talking about. In this piece you take something from darkness and bring it to light, from shame to dignity, from weakness to strength. You take something that too often goes unspoken, and you give it voice. And by extension, you give us voice, as women.

I hope you keep sharing your experience, your thoughts, your passion, and your creativity with the world. We are here listening.

Tiffany

hunzai's picture

Thanks to all for encouraging

Thanks to all for encouraging me, and giving me strength to speak up. Indeed, now I have become more confident because of all of your encouragment, and I hope to speak up for my rights and rights of my mothers and sisters across the globe. In fact, it hearts when I hear a news on women's rap or sexual or vaginal violation because it is said that one woman presents all women. It means that we all have different mask, physical appearence, but we are still the same in our anatomy, we have same organs and systems and we possess same qualities. Yeah it depends how we take benefit from our qualities, neverthless, if we all stand up for each others rights, no one can violate our rights.

Tiffany Purn's picture

Yes!

It is powerful what can happen when we come together as women. What connects us is so much stronger than what separates us. And when we stand up for each other and with each other....watch out!

lemayz's picture

Hope

Please keep writing, speaking up, and sharing your stories. Voices like yours help us remember that we have a community of millions of women around the world that can help us face and conquer our challenges. As Tyffanie wrote, when we rally around each other, we are much stronger!

I wanted to share an article with you, so that you could see how much your words resonate with what is going on in so many other countries. This just came out about a week ago in the US media:
http://www.salon.com/2013/03/27/high_school_teacher_under_investigation_...

Like you said, I have faith that by banding together and breaking social constructs, we will be able to make a positive change for future generations...so, please keep writing and sharing your words and your insight!

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