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Why not me?

Otto Tendayi Mponda

Written by Otto Tendayi Mponda

I have always been that kind of person to whom if anything bad happened in my life, I would ask myself 'Why me?'
But then eventually, an inner voice in my soul would come back to me and ask 'Why not me?'
This is when l would reassess the situation and try to find positives from the negative.
Today if anything bad happens to me,
l'm not troubled much as l always try to find a good reason as to why it might have happened the way it did.
I say, "thank heavens it happened to me and not my young brother or young sister".
Because if it had happened to them and not me, l don't think I would have managed to see them suffer like this.
However, when bad things come their own way,
I'm always there to comfort and reassure them that everything will be okay.
Simply because l'm now too experienced at bad luck, such that l use my bad experiences to better the lives of loved ones around me.
So next time if you happen to hear yourself saying "Why me?" when something bad has happened to you, be quick to ask yourself "Why not me?"
This makes life worth living without the need to cry over spilt milk,
considering the goodness that can come out of every situation that life may throw at you.



siatta's picture

why me?

It is always good to use any situation to better your life and the life of others around you.

Iryna's picture

why bad?

Hillary, I recognize myself in your story. Sometimes I become completely desperate thinking that the whole world is against of me!
But from the other hand, when I have a chance to calm down and look at the situation from the other side, I begin to see that things are neither good no bad, it's me who give them white or black colors. And many times in my life I had a chance to see how "unfair" things turned into positive ones. And not always we can understand why we have to suffer now, in this moment. But with the time we can see the complete chain.
I know, we pay for everything in this life, I just believe another day will be my turn to receive the prize. And I know, it will be! Cheer up! ;)

hillary24's picture

Life is about perspective

@Siatta, l couldn't agree more, you are very correct in your observation. Thank you for your thoughtful comment

@ Iryana, you just said something that touched me as well. You said "its me who gives them white or black colors" This reminded me that life is all about perspective meaning that what you choose to see is exactly what you get. If you choose to see goodness in people or yourself you will surely get that and if you choose to see bad you will only see that and nothing else. I think its high time people just let life live them and not try to live life because surely one can not keep blaming themselves over things they have no power over (unless its worrying about one's hair tone color which is something one can just change in a flash with a bit of hair dye). I also think that having a purpose in life makes things a whole lot better. l liked what you said earlier on in your single mum comment about you wanting to live an exemplary life for your daughter and getting motivation from being a mum, l some how saw a purpose in your life and this encourages you to soldier on against life's un foreseen battles.

Phionah Musumba's picture

The Good in the Bad

One lesson I learnt in life is that however bad and hurtful it is, if it doesn't kill you, it always makes you stronger!

Phionah Musumba
Founder/Executive Director
Malkia Foundation &
Centre for Disadvantaged Girls, Kenya
P.O Box 9461 - 00300,
Nairobi, Kenya
Facebook: Phionah Musumba
Twitter: @KenyaGals
LinkedIn: Phionah Musumba
Skype: phionah.anguzuzu.musumba

VITSAF's picture

Nice piece

Great, you know I asked that a lot too when I broke out with Vitiligo, but you know what? I came to an understanding where each time people ask why me? I simply ask, who would you rather volunteer?

Nice piece

Improving the Quality of Life of individuals (primarily women) living with vitiligo, skin imperfections altered images and autoimmune disorder!

ola.mahadi's picture

good to see you sharing

What you just post touched me i hardly have the ability now days to talk to myself that better days will come so reading your post made an impact
Thanks for sharing your thoughts

It is never too late to try make your way to your dream and left up your expectation.
Sudanes Women Building Peace

Aysha Ibrahim's picture

mind game

We always think that good things happen to others but we never thought that we are also others for someone. It means that good things also happen to us but we forget we just remember negative things. It’s human nature to see half empty glass instead of seeing half filled glass. Positive thinking can improve our life indeed.

Maya Norton's picture

Mma. Ramotswe

Otto, the spirit of this entry reminded me of one of my favorite charactes: Mma Ramotswe of Alexander McCall Smith's series, "The Number One Ladies Detective Agency," set in Botswana (which is of course not Zimbabwe). Do you know it? It's really a delightful, light read.

Based on this entry and your appreciation for strong, smart women, I think you might really enjoy it.

(It's also a movie.)

~ Maya

hillary24's picture

cant wait to watch it..

Oh thank you so very much for sharing l cant wait to buy it and read it and definitely believe l will enjoy it, kind regards Otto

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