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The Single Mum Status is so empowering!

Otto Tendayi Mponda

Written by Otto Tendayi Mponda

Every woman longs to be loved and to be cherished.
But sometimes, life is not always the way she wants it to be especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
And this is why she finally opts for the 'single mother' status, which in my belief is so empowering.
Sometimes she gets scared that she is not going to get it right and so compromises her position especially in meeting new love prospects...... it can be empowering but also terribly lonely.
Although society at times might not make it any easier for her, she is driven by an internal need to succeed, a need to feel wanted and make life a success for her children.

Her ability to multi- task without even thinking about it goes beyond reasonable doubts as one of her best qualities.
Most astonishing is the way she loves her children unconditionally even though life can take its toll out of exhaustion both physically and emotionally.
Having been raised by a single mum myself, l salute the single mum for her endurance.
And just have a good look at how much of a success we have all turned out to be,
Simply because of them.



Rebecca R's picture

Single mums

Hi Hillary, I was just talking about this with a friend of mine: single motherhood. We have two acquaintances, one male and the other female, that have been brought up by single mothers. The man is great and aware of gender equality issues. He knows, from experience, that a woman can work and earn to take care of her family without necessitating a man. He is a complete joy in gender equality discussions. Then there is the woman. She is in her late twenties and said "You should marry a rich man" to a colleague. She said she would also teach her daughters this "because I never want them to suffer like my mother did". It seemed like the completely opposite effect.

I think that a study of feminism through single motherhood would be an interesting and delightful piece. (I am hoping that male friend of mine writes one). When you wrote about your mother, I remembered this.

What are your thoughts on this? Were you an only child, or did you have siblings? If there were sisters, it would be interesting to see how your sisters view the situation in comparison to you.

hillary24's picture

single mum

Thank you for your enlightening thoughts to which l very much relate to. The thing is that l noticed that single motherhood had different effects on me and my siblings. I as the eldest son in the family l always felt for my mother and always tried by all means to be supportive of her and not ask for much but this was not the case with the younger ones. I definitely agree with you that a study of feminism through single motherhood would be an eye opener to the perceptions, across genders, of men and women who grew up with single mothers.

Iryna's picture

multi-task device)

Is funny, but sometimes you feel like a single mother even being married. It has happened with me and finished with divorce. But, to be honest, when you have at least one child (especially if it's a baby) you don't have a chance to think about how awful is your life. Children give you discipline. While my daughters grows I udnerstand I must be an example for her and I want she be proud of me, so I take care about myself to be always on shape.
I think woman is such a wonderful creature who can survive under the most difficult circumstances. Yes, sometimes give up, but next moment stand up and moving ahead. What is the most unexplainable - she always gets what she wants! The only problem is that even she not always knows what she wants :)

hillary24's picture

Having a purpose is key

Its true l couldn't agree more. I was inspired by the drive that you get from your daughters and you providing a good example to them is just ideal. It makes me appreciate women even more and more and just celebrate their significance in life.

Phionah Musumba's picture

Hats Off to all Single Mums!

It is hard for a parent to raise a family, and it becomes doubly so if they are alone. I congratulate all single parents bringing up their families by standing in the gap of the missing half.

Phionah Musumba
Founder/Executive Director
Malkia Foundation &
Centre for Disadvantaged Girls, Kenya
P.O Box 9461 - 00300,
Nairobi, Kenya
Facebook: Phionah Musumba
Twitter: @KenyaGals
LinkedIn: Phionah Musumba
Skype: phionah.anguzuzu.musumba

pelamutunzi's picture

women's strength

i share your sentiments becus my mother was also a single mother because she was a widow. she was storng in all and gave us the best of everything i could never have guesssed waht sh went through to make that budget ballance but now more than ever i appreciate her and wish she could be here for me to show her i now understand.two days ago a friend committed suicide because of marital problems. i think she couldnot handle being a divorced or single woman and chose to end her life. if only people would not be so judgemental about single mothers they are importannt and full of strength and good moral values and should always be appreciated. its not every woman who nneeds a man therefore single doesnt mean desperate. women dont need men to be defined as humans. lets support each other and if a marriage is not working let it go. staying in will probably kill you hats off to all the women who left and soldiered on i their lives.

we may be powerless to stop an injustice but let there never be a time we fail to protest.

Maya Norton's picture

I hope this is a topic you'll

I hope this is a topic you'll write about more. You have my attention.

~ Maya

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