Hope - The Last one to fall
When you leave your country to study overseas because there is no place where you can continue your studies after finishing the high school, you leave your family, your home, your friends and everything that you know and makes you feel safe.
It happened to me. I was 18 and I had to leave my world to run after my dreams. I had many dreams. So I went to Portugal to study Law because that was my father's dream, but I didn't like it at all. So i found my self in a cold country, away from my family and friends, studying something I didn't like at all! I went down. I used to call my mother saying I wanted to go back. She was the only one who understood my pain. I was so depressed I couldn't get out of my bed to shower.
Then one day I was tired of feeling like that and I decided to do what was best to my self.
I called my father and told him I wanted to change my course, that I wouldn't keep on studying Law anymore. It wasn't easy for me to tell him because I was afraid to disappoint him. But I did it anyway. He told me maybe it was the town where I was studying, that I should move to a more quiet and smaller town. I said that wasn't the solution. He stopped talking to me.
Thank God I had my mother on my side. She always there for me. She's my best friend and she gave me the strength to go after what I wanted. What I really wanted was to study cinema, but as it is a very expensive course. So I ended up choosing something else. I looked for a course that had some subjects in common with cinema and I found Science of Communications and Culture - Communication and Journalism. I always loved to write, to create and tell stories, and I found all that in Journalism.
After 5 years in Lisbon, I came back to Sao Tome and Principe to try to do my part in the development of my country. I've been back since 2009 and it hasn't been easy. The salaries are too low, older emplyees are afraid to be replaced and so when we have a good and innovative idea, it is usually unwelcome because they feel threatened by our youth. Sometimes I feel I'm decorating my work. Few ideas can be put into practice even if you don't mind not getting the credit for them. Some days I get very discouraged, unwilling to fight and willing to give up everything and go to another country. But here, I feel at home. My family is here and I know that my country needs me. And above all I know that quitting is the easiest way.