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CLARION CALL - Stop early marriage

Most of our cultures do not benefit girl children. We are made to understand that it is a mans world.

Every young girl should be made to know here fundamental rights as a person and then as a woman.

One of the women i grew up with as children is in serious trouble now. This childhood friend of mine got married to a potential young man immediately after high school and started raising children immediately while some of us went back to school for college. Of course, early marriage is encouraged in my society and infact it is part of our culture then and especially to a well to do young man and assist your family to train your other siblings especially the ones that do not come from a well-to-do family.

Then, her family was fairly comfortable but the problem was that there was no proper direction / counseling from her family and around her. She got into that marriage to assist her mother raise her remaining siblings when their father married another woman and was no longer forth coming in his obligations towards them.

She has seven(7) children - 5 girls and 2 two boys and amongst the 2 boys one is mentally challenged. The husband left to look for greener pasture when things became too difficult to manage, but never came back as at date. We heard later that he got involved with another woman along the line and they both went abroad. The lastest story from her children who has been able to locate him through social network says he is not doing well and has vowed not to come back a poor man.

Tell me how a woman without a good education / qualification / certificate and any form of skill can cater for seven(7) children. She does menial jobs whenever they are available and lives in a shack with her children. Though recently with the assistance of some old friends, she has moved to a better accommodation. Her siblings in their right have all gotten married now and are facing their different challenges and are assisting as best as they can but its has been very tough for this woman and her children. Friends that we all grew up with are not letting up also, but the difficulty persists. Now she has lost one breast to cancer, her sight is failing. She is about 48 years with enormous huddle to cross.

Her pains in her words - if i knew, i could quit the marriage when i found out that marriage was not all that rosy, i would have gone back to school or i would not have had the number of children that i had. She came from a fairly large family of 8(eight), i don't know why she did not see it coming but then, all that is in the past.

To the greater glory of God, two (2) of her girls have managed to stay afloat - nursing and an undergraduate of a university

I hope that other young women will learn from this story that touches the heart and smell the coffee. this is a clarion call to all of us. shout it to the mountains, spread it everywhere you go. Ignorance of marriage and what it entails, is not advisable. Don't let other people live your life for you. do not go out of your way to assist any one at your detriment.

Please advise our children, sisters, friends, all and sundry to look before they leap. we need to save our society, we need to save ourselves. women will always be at the receiving end if we do not fight back. Have proper counseling before children and plan for the number you can properly provide for.

Comments

hayibo safiatou's picture

fight for our future

if you are a girl you should know how to take your decision by your own mariage is not the final solution of we women i agreed that one of this days we are called to be a wife but not as earlier as people or our parent think.before mariage we have the right to make our life especially succeed in life be a person a great person at least for our own good for the sake of our children our parent and so on.so please girls i beg of your pardon do not hurry youreslf to do the mistake to married as early i mean to abandonne your education for mariage its wrong very wrong and i romissed you that if you do so first of all you will not have a peace home and you will also loose your education.so please may our friend case be an example to all of us

hayibo safiatou's picture

mistake of life

there are some mistake in this life that we can never repaair so please our education too is very importante to the suceed of this society so please do not take yourself as a baby maker for one man because your tradition say you have to married early .we know is our tradition but do not forget that we are not in this old days that women are made for nothing else than mariage so please may our friend case be an example to us i havent be able to read all the story because it a very sad history women are souffering a lot in this world

Phionah Musumba's picture

On Point!

I couldn't agree with you more! You hit it fair and square. We need to wake up, stand firm and fight for the rights of our younger generations!

Phionah Musumba
Founder/Executive Director
Malkia Foundation &
Centre for Disadvantaged Girls, Kenya
P.O Box 9461 - 00300,
Nairobi, Kenya
Facebook: Phionah Musumba
Twitter: @KenyaGals
LinkedIn: Phionah Musumba
Skype: phionah.anguzuzu.musumba

Annz11's picture

AGREED

If we can't do it for ourselves, let's do it for our children (especially our girls) so they have a future worth inheriting.

True Unity Accepts Diversity

tolulopeola2003's picture

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Poverty pre-disposes to violation. It is a spell we have to break in order to fight for our future.

TM OLA

Sefakor Abusah's picture

This is the time

I think the day has come when the pain of all women shall be no more.
Women also gave the right to education; a good one for that matter.
Lets all come together ti fight this battle till it is won

shahd's picture

Stop Traditions

Dear,

I agree with everything you said, its not just early marriage that must be stopped, its the whole traditions. Living in the old days is no longer valid and people MUST understand at some point that worked out 10 years ago cannot work out now!

I believe it is time to stop everything from the past and live TODAY!

Abisinuola's picture

There are more evils than

There are more evils than good in this practice!this has to stop.
Marriage is for companionship,that is the purpose for which God established this wonderful institution,we musnt trivialize it into a mere arrangement as it suits the families involved.
May God help us take a stand and do what must be done!

Abisinuola

CHINYERE MMA OKOH's picture

it takes two to tangle

the main fact is that this could easily happen to any teenager especially when their values are not upheld but rather exploited. some people are immune to change. it is therefore our responsibilities to reach out as well as possible to ensure that the need for change is felt.

After all without suffering there will be no compassion.
please send my regards to your friend and tell her to hold on, she is not alone.

otahelp's picture

All hands on deck

Thank you Chinyere for this great response. We must all work together to make sure that issues of this kind are reduced to the barest minimum. Yes with suffering there will not be compassion, but some of these can be nipped in the bud by making sure that we all pass these message around our friends, children & community.

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