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Her Religion

I am still bitter
I am still in a love-hate state with you
I don’t want to get married to you
I guess am just passing time with you
If that’s the case then I am wasting my time
I might be letting real love pass-me by while trying to work things out
Anyway I don’t see any potential “husband” around me

What is keeping me in this relationship is my interpretation of the Bible
If wasn’t for that I would have been gone long ago
I want to punish you for everything you have done to me
I hope you will get a way out of the country
So this can end -I know you want to be free
I don’t know why you are with me
I think you are also passing time with me
Waiting for someone better to come along -Then you can take leave

But sometimes I want to love you and forgive you
Hoping you saw the "light"-that you should behave better, treat me better

I guess I am hoping that since I am staying for the sake of following the Biblical teachings
That God will change what am going through for the sake of my belief
That God will save the relationship and heal the wounds and make everything okay
Am getting more strength to leave the relationship as the pain and reality sets in

Am I being stupid?
Why do I believe that my faith will turn a frog into prince charming?
I have no one to turn to-only God.
I have to believe in God’s power
He is the only one who helps me keep hope alive in these dark hours.

Comments

Petunia007's picture

Hmm, so true. Most women are

Hmm, so true. Most women are keepers - we fight so hard to keep that relationship that has that unique 'chemistry' that we can't put words to. But in the end, most times when it's stormy, it really isn't meant to be. Most of us waste so much time clinging to love-hate relationships. One lesson I have learnt over time is that in a relationship - don't ever make the other person feel they are more important than you, it gives them the license to walk all over you.
I think it's mostly a case of Stockholm Syndrome - a lot of women staying in relationships where they are maltreated emotionally, sexually and physically.

Raeesa's picture

tell me more about Stockholm

tell me more about Stockholm Syndrome

udoka29's picture

I agree

I'm catholic and I used to have this guilt about leaving a relationship no matter how terrible he's been to me and how horrible I felt. But I learned that no one has the power to make me feel less than wonderful and I make this known to everyone, and that makes them know that I'm different and I'm not going to stand being mistreated in the name of religion.

Unfortunately a lot of young women believe that they have to bare with all the hardships, hurdles and "tests" that men throw our way, that the maltreatment and injustice we constantly face is proves we are "worthy" as women.

I believe differently

Raeesa's picture

don't ever think yourself

don't ever think yourself less than others.

Sefakor Abusah's picture

sometimes

Yes,sometimes the women feel they already know what the man is capable of doing an so can contain it.They are afraid they might get into a worse relationship if they should quit this one.They always ask:"if i leave this one,how sure am i that the next one will be better ?
I wish women can take that bold step and walk out of an abused relationship

Phionah Musumba's picture

Think Me First

You are the architect of your own happiness. No one can do it for you as they are all busy doing the same for themselves. Never please other guys at the expense of your own comfort. Some people will call it selfishness, but I call it self preservation. A dose of tough love!

Phy
Centre for Disadvantaged Girls, Kenya
www.galsissues.blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/MalkiaCDG

Naomi Mwaura's picture

The sad thing is when the

The sad thing is when the support system (friends and family) keep giving suggestions on how the woman should change her behaviour inorder to stop the abuse. They keep referring to bible verses that anchor the woman to an abusive relationship. I remember going through the bible trying to find a verse that said I could walk out and still be in God's good books. I found one verse but it talked about infidelity only. Doesn't God recognize other forms of abuse?

Raeesa's picture

God recognizes

yes God recognize it is written in Bible that the person who does not treat her wife in a well way.God will not hear his prayers.i believe that person is coward who can't love and respect his sister, mother, wife or love.if a person does not know ur value he will never treat u well. let him go.and be strong and engage in good and beneficial activities.

Annie Malia's picture

Abuse?

Is he abusing you? What kind of abuse? And where does the bible say a woman should stay with an abusive man? Remember, the bible was written by men & Christianity itself is a patriarchal religion. We can talk about it when you come over.

Walk in Beauty
Annie

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