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It begins with Me!

This week marks a turning point in my life. I have decided to embark on a journey of self-discovery, and along the way hope that i can make a positive difference not only in my life but also in the lives of those around me and my sphere of influence. I have read the various journals posted and i was inspired by the women in this group, especially the journal of Blossoming Cactus by jmaruru.

Im normally so afraid of sharing my deepest thoughts but here goes;

This past week has been a week of deep reflection for me. I feel like I am at a turning point in my life and needed to have a serious evaluation of where it is I am headed in life. I am trying to understand my own values because if I don’t define and understand it, there is a 100% chance that nobody else will either.

Up to this point all I have had to think about is completing my immediate short term goals, which I am and continuously do but as I told my better half the other day I have been running a marathon, I have not really had time to take stock of what I want to do with my life or where it is I am headed. While I have an idea, I cannot tell you for sure how I hope to attain it, or how to get there. So for me, this reflection was deeply needed.

We live in a society in which if you do not watch out, you end up running a rat race and 20 years down the line, you wonder how in the world did I end up here and asking yourself what exactly have I accomplished?

One of the things that kept ringing in my head this week and just seemed to get on my last nerve was that everywhere I seemed to turn, someone would be trying to put me in a box, or would be trying to label me or define me. I guess it did not just happen this week but ultimately its happened since I could remember, and I think is just part of our society. It seems that when we meet new people, we have to immediately identify what groups or philosophies we associate ourselves with and once we receive a label, people expect us to act like whatever the particular label implies.

Well I guess the alternative to being defined is to define which is what I sought to do this week. I started thinking when was the last time I made a decision, completely on my own? I know ME better then anyone else. I understand my likes, dislikes and know what makes me tick.

I have not just began this journey to self discovery, but I have had a very limited amount of time to sit back and take in where it is I am now in my life and where it is I want to go and along the way I have discovered this society is constantly trying to define who I am and spell out for me what they think i will never be able to accomplish. Well, I have decided to ignore each and every person who tries to do this anymore. Instead I am learning to listen to my own heart. It will be hard, but I believe it is truly the key to pursuing my dreams. Actually my worry in life is not finding that next great job, but about finding my passion. There are many paths to success and defining success on my own terms is one of my goals and is far more important than how much money I end up making.

So I drew this conclusion no matter what my situation is, being ME is most important. That is, I do not want to be that individual that allows friends, family, co-workers to define and dictate who I am. And when others do try and tell me what I can or cannot accomplish, I will try and remember that my ability to make things happen has nothing to do with anyone else’s opinion of what I am capable or incapable of doing.

I don’t ever want to become someone else’s brand. I want to be my own brand, The Brand Called ME. I am therefore celebrating the fact that I am not like everyone else. I am special! I am unique! I am the product of 23 chromosomes from my father and 23 from my mother. Scientists say there is only one chance in 10/2,000,000,000 of my parents having another child like me. The combination of attributes that I have cannot be duplicated. The need to explore and develop my uniqueness is a matter of high priority that I am and will continue to work on.

Most important of all, my worth is not found in being different or the same as others, it is found in God. Who am I? I am precious, created in my mother’s womb by God’s own hand. I am not an accident. I am valuable, I have worth, I am gifted, I am talented and I have purpose.


JaniceW's picture


Celebrate your unique beauty and know that we all celebrate all the wonderful things that make you, you!

ShukThi's picture

Boxes, indeed!

Dear Tumaini,

yes, the world does seem to constantly categorize and put people in boxes, doesn't it? and sometimes, we internalize those labels and forgot that the individual self is a changing, shifting thing of beauty that cannot ever be captured in a simplistic box! Best of luck with your effort in finding and celebrating and being yourself!


alikatz's picture


Excellent! You are on your way to becoming a strong, independent, free thinking woman! Way to go!!
You are so wise at such a young age.

TUMAINI's picture

Thanks guys

When i wrote this i had so many feeleings running through me, i was so angry that i had let myslef get this far with others dictating what i can and cannot do. So it was extremely libertaing writing this and each day I try to ensure that I remain true to ME first.

Thanks again for all your encouragement and support.

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