Community Update

World Pulse Toolkits Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits are all available here.

We are especially excited to share our signature Citizen Journalism and Digital Empowerment Curriculum. Start learning today!

Introducing myself and my journal: Survival Gadget

About Me:
My name is Hideko Nagashima, a Japanese origin. I stayed in Nigeria, Akwa Ibom state from 2009 to 2012 for four years. During this time, I experienced serious domestic violence committed by my Nigerian fiancé. He was planning to bury me alive in the village and sacrifice my daughter for God. He blamed all of his business failure on us. He had uncontrolled temper. He used a machete, belts, sticks to beat my daughter and me, and frightened us with many lies and abusive words for years.

Despite of many police reports, the police virtually did nothing. I was forced to stay with him because foreigners could not legally seek their own accommodations without permissions from the inviters (my fiancé) and he never allowed us to go out. It was also dangerous to be my own. Nigeria is known for kidnapping, embezzlement, murder committed against foreigners. For the very first time in my life, I felt helpless. I don’t remember how many times I cried. My daughter thought that I would cry to death.

Frequently, out of frustration, he demanded huge amount of money from my mother, 80 years old, and mostly he took it for himself, never allowed me to spend even 5000 naira for myself. He used to take away my telephone, and lie to my mother so that she would send money to him; in Nigeria, I never was allowed to have bank account of my own. The money he took from my mother past four years amount to 23 million naira ($145,000). Everyday my daughter and I lived in fear because we never knew when he loses temper for any trifle reasons and start beating us. None of the other foreigners there we contacted; they were unreachable because most foreigners stayed in safe company accommodations with high fences and tight securities. I contacted my fiancé’s family, they never rescued us when I informed about his violent behavior.

Finally in May, 2012 my daughter and I were rescued by FIDA (International Federation of Women Lawyers) in Uyo through a friend of mine. The lawyers took us to one of the lawyer’s own house until they raised enough money for me to return to Japan.

Through FIDA I learned about the abuse and violence frequently committed against women and children in Akwa Ibom state; especially, the brutal treatment against children witches was shocking, and tore my heart. While I stayed with them, I developed project, shelters for battered women and children; the project is to confidentially transport the victims to live in the safe shelter, provide food and clothes. in November,2012, when I finally returned to Japan, I established NGO called Support Women and Children in Nigeria and started raising fund and send journal Survival Gadget to donors and supporters in Japan informing them about violence against women and children in Nigeria.

Apart from my own domestic violence case, the burning, drowning and throwing of witch children always brings shock to them since Nigeria is very little known to Japan. More and more Japanese corporations and industries are interested in investing in Nigeria aiming to capitalize the huge market. Many people wonder why the huge amount of revenue from oil and the donation from the Japanese Official Development Assistance or ODA, (approx. 150 million naira per year) doesn’t do much to help the poor and needy in Nigeria. As I write this article, there still are no lights, and no welfare scheme to help the poor in Nigeria. Police do not come rescue the victims even if someone regularly suffers from violence, but instead, they’d ask for bribes.

My daughter now is waiting for me with the barrister’s family days and nights. I will go there again in 6 months to win the custody over her in the court. It is still shivering to think how we survived and how helpless and hopeless many women and children must be feeling there in Nigeria because of the weak law and lack of security. I was not particularly strong but I was encouraged and empowered by so many individuals while I was there as I was voiceless and helpless. A widow gave me a box full of food despite that I demanded nothing. A young lady gave me freely a mobile telephone when I had no access to contact anyone. A shop lady every time put eggs and indomies into a bag and handed to me when I didn’t buy them. Groups of individuals regularly came to visit me to encourage me and empower me. Some people used to give me money…and all other persons I am afraid there are too many to mention who have helped my daughter and me directly or indirectly without knowing us.

I hope to give back what I was given. Thank you for reading my introduction. I look forward to hear comment about my experience or see you when I am going back to Nigeria for Support Women and Children in Nigeria!

ing

My Passions:
I love what I do now to write project and raise fund.

My Challenges:
The custody case and debt payment to my mother

My Vision for the Future:
I survived by God's mercy. I will make use of my every minute to help women and children so there will be no regret.

My Areas of Expertise:
Managing non-governmental organization in pursuit of kinder society.

Comments

Fatima Waziri's picture

It’s so exciting having you

It’s so exciting having you with us, I am sure you will have a fabulous time with your new online friends as well as find this to be a very positive experience. I encourage you to take advantage of the numerous resources and features available through our vibrant online community.

Welcome again to our global community and I look forward to hearing more from you here on PulseWire!

Peace!
Fatima

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Fatima

It is exciting to hear from you as well. Thank you. Good to know that you are a lawyer. Have you worked on any of violence or witch craft cases? Our board of director is a member of Witch craft commission. God bless.
Hideko

Hideko, your story shocks us into a deeper understanding of the larger struggle the lack of rights means for you, your daughter, and all of the women and girls in Nigeria. Your courage to speak out and to create a vision for a brighter future for the women is inspiring. I am deeply moved by the strength of your heart and how you are using your experience to transform lives for other women who suffer from violence.

I encourage you to reach out to some of our other members from Nigeria who might help you develop your NGO.
Obisakin Christianah Busayo is a dear friend of World Pulse and established her own Women Inspiration Development Center (WIDC) which is planning to develop a “Vocational and Violence Free Girls” (VVIFREG) program in Nigerian Secondary Schools to teach girls about their rights. You can read her profile by clicking on her name. Under her photo, you will see some of the posts she has written on the topic which you can respond to.

Another powerful leader on PulseWire and in her community is our dear Olutosin, the Founder/Coordinator of Society for the Transformation of Women and Children. Olutosin has written four articles on sexual violence, widowhood and infidelity, and is a strong advocate for Nigerian women and girls.

Titilope is the Executive Director of Centre for 21st Century Issues and passionately writes about ending the violence against women in Nigeria.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you get started here on PulseWire. Just click on "Reply" at the bottom of this box. I will hold you in my heart and thoughts that you may receive custody of your precious daughter soon.

Again, welcome.
Janice

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Janice

Oh my goodness! Thank you for your welcome in Japanese. Let me take time to read the works of those members you are recommending. I am thrilled to know these who are actually voicing for women and children the area I am involved. God bless
Hideko

olutosin's picture

I AM SO SAD!

This is Horrible, thank God you came out alive!!! Oh My God!

I cannot express how I feel, I cant I CANT.

WELLDONE STRONG WOMAN, WELLDONE AND WELCOME BACK TO LIFE.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Olutosin

Thank you for all your compliment. I cannot express myself also how happy I am now to come out alive!
Good to know you.
Hideko

Leina's picture

Thank God for your life my

Thank God for your life my dear sister!I lack words to describe my feelings now.Keep the courage and know better days are ahead!
hugs,
Leina

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Leina

Thank you for your kind words. I learned what many women and children go through in Nigeria. No security, no stability...It is inexplicable. My heart goes toward them.
Hideko

Celine's picture

Dear Hideko, I develop bumps

Dear Hideko,
I develop bumps reading your experience. I am at the same time happy you survived the period and come out stronger-- your coming out stronger outshines the horror you passed through.

Welcome to the WP, where you will meet other women who had at one point in their life passed through worse situation. It is really unfortunate that in Nigeria, there are no laws protecting the rights of women. Patriarchy promotes domestic violence hence domestic violence thrives and becomes part of life in homes.
The big question is: how many women will own up and speak out the way you do? Women see marriage as 'heaven' and with this belief that for a woman to be seen as 'responsible,' she must be entangled to a husband, African men take undue advantage of women.

Big congratulations for speaking out and for making it alive.

Hugs,
Celine Osukwu

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Celine

I am privileged and honored for having a opportunity to speak as well as knowing persons like you voicing thoughts fearlessly especailly in Nigeria. I can imagine now how difficult it must have been for you--in my country it is easy. God bless.
Warmly,
Hideko

Titilope's picture

Chilling Experience

Dear Hideko,
I am baffled to hear about your experience. Its really chilling. I know that experience has brought out the best and the beauty in you. With all my sister from Nigeria already encouraging you, i know together we will win the battle against violence.
Welcome to world pulse, where the pulse of the voice of every woman counts and makes the difference.

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Titilope

Thank you for your response to my introduction...and for thinking of me so highly, but I am an ordinary Japanese not particularly good or beautiful. I had the right people around me who brought me out. Now I am speaking to the pioneer well-known lawyer in Japan who actually started shelter for battered women for the first time in Japan 15 years ago. She is a member of our NGO. Hideko

Paulina Lawsin's picture

Thank God that you were able

Thank God that you were able to survive that harrowing experience with your fiance. I hope that you can get custoody of your daughter soonest.

You are one brave woman with a beautiful soul. Instead of fearing Nigeria and disliking it because of your negative experience, you decided to help other women.

May you always be blessed in your endeavors.

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Paulina

You are from Philippines? Thank you for your comment. Disliking people is the easiest rout to take. But again wherever you go, you run into persons who wrong you. You cannot generalize the whole nation as such and such for the sake of one wrong person. Let us take good people into account and make peace where we can.

May God bless you for your kind comment.

Hideko

Hideko N.'s picture

Dear Paulina

You are from Philippines? Thank you for your comment. Disliking people is the easiest rout to take. But again wherever you go, you run into persons who wrong you. You cannot generalize the whole nation as such and such for the sake of one wrong person. Let us take good people into account and make peace where we can.

May God bless you for your kind comment.

Hideko

delphine criscenzo's picture

Dear Hideko

Thank you for displaying your story on World Pulse. I admire your courage! Thank you for enlightening me about the situation for women and children in Nigeria. Finally thank you for your effort to help these women ad children in Nigeria through your NGO.
You must be missing your daughter a lot!
With compassion,

Delphine Criscenzo
Online Training Coordinator
World Pulse
www.worldpulse.com

Thanks is my words for you for caring poor Nigerian women and children. I have a lot of reasons to do my work since I have my daughter there and owe my life to many people there. They call me every three days to empower me. Certainly I am not doing anything special but you would do the same if you were me. Hideko N.

Monica09's picture

Shocking!

Dear Hideko,

Greetings from Bangladesh!

Your story is shocking, but it is also very critical in raising awareness about the plights of women in Nigeria. After reading your article, I feel interested in doing something for Nigeria.

All my prayers for you,
Monica

Hideko N.'s picture

If you will please do help.

If you will please do help. Our web site illustrate more about Nigeria. http://www.swacin.com You can also join us helping together. Let me know your email address. I will send you journals we publish every month. Hideko N.

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

Letters to a Better World

Letters to a Better World

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

shazia @ shiree's picture

BANGLADESH: Finding Fatima

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Blog »

Read the latest from World Pulse headquarters

The Women of World Pulse LIVE: Meet Olanike

The Women of World Pulse LIVE: Meet Olanike

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative