Community Update

World Pulse Toolkits Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits are all available here.

We are especially excited to share our signature Citizen Journalism and Digital Empowerment Curriculum. Start learning today!

Million Dollar Question: True Knowledge, Etiquettes, and Respect can it be taught in any educational institute?

27765169.jpg

Mr. XYZ gets up early, is very smartly formally dressed, picks his lunch box and drives to the office. His office is one of the dream jobs others would dream of. He is growing up the ladder day by day and today is settled well. He comes back home in the evening and play games, watch movies and relax out as he had a very tiring day.

Mrs. XYZ gets up earlier than Mr. XYZ. Start cooking lunch for her and family. Then she prepares a healthy breakfast. Kids are shouting from all corners of the house ‘Mom, where is my book?’, ‘Mom, where are my shoes?’ She will cook and also get kids ready for school. Then, she will hurriedly wrap up and get ready for her office with hundreds of thoughts running in her mind. She will catch her cab which is waiting downstairs for her. In the office, her boss will assign her the task irrespective of her gender. Still, she is waiting why she is not equally growing up the ladder. Anyways, still contented her thoughts will again revolve around her family. She will be backing home. As soon as she enters, she will cook again and pick up children’s toys and books they have spread around. Finish up everything and then at last she will relax close to mid night.

In a general discussion over coffee, Mr. XYZ comments ‘Always women have to depend upon men to manage their stuff and help them out whether physically or in any other decision making’. And his mates added ‘Yeah, that’s why women are not given management roles ’. And they laugh out loud making fun of WHOM? They think that they just laughed on the women working with them or any other random women. But, they absolutely forgot that they were actually referring to their own mother, sisters and wife. As this is the perception they have for the woman in their life , this is what they do and think about the woman in their life. The truth is that they have a predefined picture in their mind about women .So, they keep passing it on to other women too and the amazing part of it is that they find it funny too. The basic sense to see, think, analyze and then react is just not there or they don’t bother to use it. God bless these souls.

Well, if observed properly then for how many activities she had to depend on Mr. XYZ and vice-versa. If she won’t cook for him for 1 day, he will manage but he cannot continue this even for a year but she will do this with her heart and soul for years and years. If we talk about being physically strong then, In spite of the changes that have occurred in women’s participation in the labor market, women continue to bear most of the responsibilities for the home: caring for children and other dependent household members, preparing meals and doing other housework. In all regions, women spend at least twice as much time as men on unpaid domestic work. Women who are employed spend an inordinate amount of time on the double burden of paid work and family responsibilities; when unpaid work is taken into account, women’s total work hours are longer than men’s in all regions. Like their adult counterparts, girls are more likely than boys to perform unpaid work within their own household. In the less developed regions, many young girls aged 5-14 take on a large amount of household chores, including care-giving, cooking and cleaning, and older girls do so to an even greater extent. While boys also do household chores, their participation rate is not as high as that of girls. Moreover, girls generally work longer hours than boys, whether they are engaged in housework only, employment only or both.
A highly educated, professional working in a Multi-National company is expected to have more than basic etiquettes. They are very well trained for behavioral and soft skills for months and in regular intervals. So, as per the rulebook they should be one of the most behaved and trained human beings. But how many of you agree to the fact that they actually are.

As per a very famous saying:

A Dog’s tail is crooked FOREVER.

Downloads

Comments

Wendyiscalm's picture

WOW !

Dear Upasana,

Wow Wow Wow and Wow !. What an issue you raise. I do not know if it is a problem or an issue. I struggle with this daily. I live in Chicago but spend a LOT of time in Livingstone Zambia where I have a non-profit organization to help street orphans and vulnerable children. The issue of habits (or maybe it's in their DNA) is HUGE. It is very very discouraging in trying to make change and is one of the main reasons I believe there is little if any sustainable improvement in Zambia. Volunteers and missionaries come but if you are not there every minute, they go back to their old ways. I don't care how much they do right when they are with you or how much you think they have changed. Just when you think you have made progress they go back and make the SAME bad choice or do the same bad action. I am so discouraged.I don't like the expression you gave but I wrote it down because it is profound "A dog's tail is crooked forever". Those of us innocently and vehemently and enthusiastically working towards making change in different cultures should be aware of what you say. Because you are 100% correct. At least in Zambia. The adults perpetuate this, or I wonder now if it is in their DNA.

Then it raises the question of "Should we not help, then?" And of course, we both know that is not the answer.

I have a friend who had businesses in Afghanistan for 5 years. He had 4-5 true friends. He tried to teach them decency and honesty. But he said if he turned his back for a second he would be stabbed. There are many many wonderful, honest people in all countries. But your awareness of and telling about your topic is great. I "get" what you are saying. Keep it coming Upasana.

Ubuntu (I am who I am because of who we are together),

Wendy

Thank you

Wendy Stebbins
Founder/CEO
I AM ONE IN A MILLION Non-Profit Organization focused on helping street orphans and vulnerable children in Livingstone, Zambia Africa.

UpasanaC's picture

Thanks a lot

Hey Wendi,
Thanks a lot for the appreciation. You are very right when you say that its there in their DNA. As most men across the globe have similar perspective about women. This was an incident that happened in my office and I got so furious at such reactions that I so wanted to teach them a lesson right away. However, no matter how much you tell them , teach them they will never change as its a genetic disorder really. But , the solution to this is to teach our future generation, our kids how to respect anybody irrespective of their gender. They should have a equality approach. I hope that we together one day can see this day..

Cheers to Life

Wendyiscalm's picture

Again you are right

Hi Upsi,

Thanks for your response. I may have told you in a previous message, but what I am doing in Livingstone, Zambia, which is totally "men are Gods" oriented is the following. Some of the teen age street orphans I AM ONE IN A MILLION sponsors were watching a movie. The girl was taken in the back room and raped. The orphans were laughing. I turned off the tv and asked them "If that was your mother, would you be laughing?". Somehow this connected with them and then we had a long discussion.

So, your article and your message have reminded me that when I go back (which is about every 6 weeks), this time March 27, I am going to make it a "cause" to be sure to bring this up with more young boys. You are right. We have to start with them young and somehow say the words or give the examples that have meaning to THEM. I have to say what gets through to THEM not what I think should get through to them.

Thanks for the reminder.

Wendy

Wendy Stebbins
Founder/CEO
I AM ONE IN A MILLION Non-Profit Organization focused on helping street orphans and vulnerable children in Livingstone, Zambia Africa.

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

PHOTO ESSAY: The Dreams in Their Eyes

PHOTO ESSAY: The Dreams in Their Eyes

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

On Women's Agency in Southern Africa

On Women's Agency in Southern Africa

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Blog »

Read the latest from World Pulse headquarters

Welcome, Women in the World!

Welcome, Women in the World!

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative