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Silence behind a virgin

I was reading a news article from Bangladesh about a young girl and her mother got pregnant when they were in the refugee camp at Vavuniya, Sri Lanka. It made me so angry because I was sure that the rapes were done by Sri Lankan forces. However I was not sure about the whole story and about two women. After sometimes, I went to Sri Lanka during my summer vacation and got a chance to visit to the exact place where those two rapes were take place. I was so eager to meet those two women. Somehow I have found them with the help of a NGO which was working at Vavuniya with women issues during the war time.
When I met them I was about to cry because the daughter was 12 years old and she was so young and having two children on beside her. I was speechless and I took sometimes, to return to normal world. She started to say the story that what was happened to her. Basically, I did not ask her to tell to me the whole story. The reason why she wants to tell to that story was that she wants her situation to spread all over the world and she wanted to be a role model for rest of the girls to stop the violence against women during the war time. Beside that she has mentioned that she does not want to fellow her mother and she wanted to speak up. Then only I realize that I was missing her mother and I asked about it. She said her mother suicide right after the baby born and now the little girl has to take care of the two children. Then I start to think that how the military forces have been taking advantage of the young women during the war time. They took every opportunity to sexually harass women – from looking, to staring, to touching, to raping and beating and insulting. I can’t call these attitudes anything but animalistic
She continue her story by saying that she has moved from her birth place to Vavuniya due to the last period of Sri Lankan civil war and stayed in the refugees camp with the hope that she will have good education in the new place and she will take care of her mother because she has lost her father during the civil war. “All the hopes have vanished away within 10 minutes because of them” (Girl) said. I got shock in the middle and I asked again them? She was answering me by saying that “I did not in the situation to count them “(Girl) she started to cry and cry. I felt that crying questioning my status of begin a woman in term of gender and sex.
I do not want explain further more about her story because it is really sensitivity and I do not have the courage to put in the words right now. I really feel shame on myself that I do not able to do anything to stop the violence against the women during the war time. However, I strongly believe that we will make the world peacefully without any violence against women by empowering grassroots women to speak up each and every incident like the small girl who has I met. At this point, it is pointless to believe on the government to make the policies or take action against the violence over the women since government has a part of the creating violence against women and promoting the violence more and more.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

Kara-Amena's picture

Lost innocence

Dear Aberamy,

Thank you for sharing this tragic story. This little girl seems so strong and brave. I admire her for speaking out and wanting to make a difference after such a brutal experience. She lost so much and still feels compelled to do what she can to prevent these things from happening to other girls. It's heartbreaking to think of a child so young faced with so many tragedies. Please know that your visit made a difference. I know it's frustrating when the problems seem so overwhelming and it seems that we are powerless to make a change. But the little girl needed someone to listen to her. And you were there. She needed to tell her story. And you were there. She wanted others to know - and you have given her voice a global audience. I'm sure your empathy was a comfort to her. I'm sure it helped her to feel less alone and less invisible. Living where she lives, she is surrounded by people suffering daily hardships. It's difficult to complain or find comfort when everyone around you is suffering so much. People adapt by internalizing their pain. When pain is internalized like that, it becomes a poison. You helped to free her from some of that poison.

I appreciate you for taking part of your summer vacation to talk to this girl and to visit the place of these crimes. We need more people like you to open the eyes of the rest of the world to the hidden crises of young girls like your new friend.

Peace and blessings,
Kara-Amena

Anita Muhanguzi's picture

Be strong

Dear Aberamy,
Thank you for sharing such a sad story with us. It is so sad that the girl's mother decided to end her life. She had lost hope in the system and no one was able to offer her counselling. This young girl needs some one to talk to her and encourage her because she is a child and she has two children to look after. You are already doing something to change the system. By letting the whole world know about what happens to such girls and women in your country you are provoking change so do not give up. We are behind you and we surely encourage you to continue with the good work. Bring out as many stories as you can so that we can help advocate for change in your country. Stay blessed my dear sister.

Mrs. Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Head of Legal and Advocacy
Centre for Batwa Minorities
a.kiddu@gmail.com
cfmlegal@gmail.com
Skype: mrs_muhanguzi

katina maria's picture

happy New year

Dear Aberamy
You are very welcome and your comments are always so well choosen with the same like my own country only sometimes I chances to share it with the women in my community I wish to make it this year happening.
Warm Regards
Katrina

katina maria's picture

International Womens day 2013

Dear Pulse wire Family
I plan to celebrae International Womens day in My Communty.Its in an Informal Settlement I a raising funds to buy an projecter and also built up an Cenima and the hings needed in it we have no electricity and are also looking for help for Solar panels ect videos .

traughber2000's picture

My Heart Goes Out to...

Aberamy,

I admire people like you who "get their hands dirty." To care about other, especially those who are able to protect themselves, is noble, humane, and loving.

I had written stupid "guy" novels with military themes, but after having the honor to write Jabonkah Sackey's story in, DRIVING THE BIRDS, I was changed: my heart opened to the struggles of Jabonkah, as she experience an abusive childhood, was cut by the Liberian Secret Society, sold as a child bride, abused again by an African-American missionary who enslaved Jabonkah by forcing her to serve 200 boys on her school near Monrovia, This happened, after Jabonkah's father have given her away to be missionary at age 12, before he beat her to death.

Jabonkah was born in Liberia in 1948. Yes, a sad story but Jabonkah found freedom, and not because she was able come to American but because she let her story be told, so that her life and secrets might help the girls and woman of her Africa have a better life.

Jabonkah now 64 is a mother of two, grandmother of four, retired nurse, had a happy and spirited woman. Sorry if I seem "preachy" but her life story changed my life, and isn't what we do here? Tell stories to expose the truth, for change?

My best regards and wishes,

Russell

www.shadwellpublising.com

traughber2000@yahoo.com

Russell Traughber
Author, Driving the Birds
www.shadwellpublishing.com

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