SOME WOMEN DO HAVE THEM...2
The fact that” two is better than one” and that God made all creatures in twos to avoid loneliness cannot be over emphasised. I will much prefer any day to share a cosy embrace with a partner than sleep alone in my bed at night. I will rather have the man handle bills; see to the plumbing problems etc than face it myself. I will rather have someone to share my worries with than brood over them alone or proffer solutions alone. I will rather have someone share parenting challenges with me than face the road alone. I much prefer to be looked at in admiration than pity. I will rather I have a shoulder to cry on than a fluffy pillow. I would rather be treated with respect than be looked upon with disdain just because I am divorced. I will rather be married than be divorced.
I shudder at certain life experiences of women that I hear and I can’t help but say WHY WOMEN: IS IT WORTH IT? There was a certain woman whose husband died and left her with their only daughter; she was very devastated at his death and the prospect of living alone and be responsible for her welfare and that of the child was very scary to her. She could not manage the situation so two years after the man’s death, she remarried. Her daughter was about 14 years old then. The man was providing her needs so she lived in relative comfort. When she discovered that this comfort was about to be jeopardized, she chose to sacrifice her daughters’ right and subject the girl to sexual abuse in the hands of the new husband rather than stand by her child. The man pressured the young girl to have sex with him continually and whenever she reported this to her mum; she chose to turn a deaf ear until the damage was done; the man raped the girl at the age of sixteen. The woman wasn’t happy about the incidence but chose the comfort of her marriage to standing by her daughter- the girl was sent away to live with her mums’ sister. The girl is an adult today and has never forgiven her mum.
We have heard about child marriage where the mother of the girl was in support of it. She will rather the girl be married off for financial gains to boost the economic prowess of the family.
A friend told me about a woman that was beaten to death two weeks after giving birth to her third child. Her husband was always beating her at slight provocation. And each time she runs to her parents’ home, her parents will send her back to the husband: Her mum will tell her that a woman’s place is beside her husband that with time the man will stop, that she suffered similar fate in the hands of the girls’ father. On the sad day, she did something to provoke the man and he beat her up, she fainted and was rushed to the hospital when efforts to revive her proved abortive. At the hospital, she was confirmed dead.
I will rather be many things more in addition to what I am presently and I will want to be many things more in exchange to certain things I am presently. But truth is I will rather be WHAT I AM now than allow myself to be subjected to violence in the hands of a man. I have a lot to live for and nothing to die for. I want to live, my kids need me alive; my mother does too, my siblings, my friends and fellow women would rather I live than be dead.......to be continued