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SISTERS, PLEASE READ THIS!

Having read Mukut's (our World Pulse sister) post titled "Cyber Stalking - A "Virtual" Crime With Real Consequences", i could not help but share this all too important and related post whcih i came across on another website". Please read, pass on and take any other action that would save any other person from falling prey to cyber stalkers!

The story was titled "Days After Cynthia Osokogu's Alleged Death By Facebook Friends, Another Victim Shares Near-Death Experience".
Story by Osaremen Ehi James/Nigeriafilms.com

The use of social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Blackberry Messenger (BBM) and others have come under mixed reactions by Nigerians after the death of Cynthia Osokogu who was allegedly killed by some friends she reportedly met via Facebook.

Just days after the news went viral, we received in our mail box a message from a Nigeria (name withheld), who wants us to post her near-death experience with a man she said was a BBM friend. Below is her mail; enjoy and learn.

"Hi, I am Tonia (not real name), a girl who has fears, beliefs, reservations and just your regular typical Nigerian girl. This past few weeks has been one hell of a game for me. I have really been unsettled and I thought I share this story with you.

"When Cynthia (the lady killed in the hotel room in Festac, Lagos) surfaced on the internet and various news media, I was scared and it brought back a whole lot of memories to me and also served as and eye opener. Many people castigated and criticised Cynthia (may her
gentle soul rest in peace), but my point is, it could have been anybody, anybody at all.

"We have met people through various social media. Some have ended up well, some have not but with painful memories. To cut the long story short, let me kindly share with you my encounter with social media especially the very popular Blackberry Messenger (BBM).

"I am a graduate and currently serving in Kaduna. I could have runced it, but I needed somewhere to clear my head and forget about my ugly encounter. Here is my story.

"I happened to have a married man as a contact on my BBM. He had been asking me out for over six months and I refused to date him. As time went on, he invited me clubbing with him when his wife was outside the country, and I went with him all night. We spent most of the night at Swe bar, Lagos.

"I also met his clique of friends, married as well with their various mistresses. We had 'mad' fun. After all the clubbing and drinking, he lodged me in a hotel somewhere in Obalende. I felt sort of safe with him. We did not have sex, but he made sweet love to me and touched me in places I had never ever imagined.

"He kissed me passionately but guess what? He did not have sex with me. We did all sorts but there was no penetration. So, to an extent, I trusted he was a good person to be around with. I did not know that it was all part of the plan.

"He gave me N10,000 and put me in a cab to go home the next morning. We kept talking and chatting and sending naked pictures to each other and he told me naughty things of how he wanted to whisper things in my ear, I blushed. We didn't see for two weeks and that was because his wife just came back from Turkey.

"One faithful evening, he pinged me that he was organising a beach party/boat cruise and that he would love for me to be his date and that he wanted to open a BBM chat, as a medium for his friends and my friends to interact. I was excited about it, I just wanted to have fun. I was able to get five of my very hot friends.

"The BBM group opened and we got chatting. I also realise that majority of them were married and working in reputable firms. It was fun and we didn't mind if they were married, we just wanted to have fun, as well as some other girls apart from my friends in the group.

"We chatted exclusively, sent pictures to the BBM group to introduce ourselves, and we had opened group conversations pending the beach party. And as excited as we were, we went shoping for nice sexy beach wears.

"The D-day finally came, we all assembled at the Lagos Island Boat Club. I was wowed because it was a high class party. We were cruising in a boat loaded with goodies drinks and hot babes, and as well 'MARRIED MEN'. I did not care, I just said in my mind that I would not roll with married men anymore after this, that for now, all I wanted to do was to catch some fun. After all, I wasn't paying bills.

"We got there, it was a private beach resort. Most of the beach facilities I got to see there were owned by multinational companies. We got out of the boat, and went to where we were partying. It was a duplex made with wood. It was a very nice setting.

"I felt comfortable because it even had a fence around it separating it from other beach houses around. So, there was privacy and of course bouncers (heavy looking guys) guarding the place. I said to myself, this must be heaven, I must be dreaming.

"Anyways, we felt free with each other because we had been chatting. It was 5:30pm and the party just started. We had drinks flowing from the private bar tender which happens to be owned by one of the men in the group. Reality struck when I realised that I was feeling dizzy and feeling really funny and light headed. Not only me, but other girls around me too noticed there was something strange about it.

"I was also feeling HORNY as hell! I had been drugged. They monitored us and when they knew the drug had really gone deep into our system, they moved us up into the main beach house. I could still see faces, but was too weak and horny to react.

"Mr B, the man who took me clubbing, carried me in his hands like a sacrifice and put me down on the floor just as other men also did with their girls. We were eight in numbers; 8 girls, 8 guys, and they all stripped us down and had sex with us.

"I enjoyed it a bit because I was horny. It was a mixed feeling because I cried, I moaned, but I did not know how many times he came into me. He pounded me hard. I was dizzy, but he grabbed me with force. All I could notice was the wedding ring on his finger. I thought of how wicked and miserable some married can be. How inhuman and heartless they could be.

"All of them took turns in switching partners and slept with all of us. I passed out. That was the last thing I could remember. I felt water poured on me. I noticed all the other girls around me too were half naked and some stark naked.

"We spent the night at the beach, but the men were no where to be found. I looked round me and all I could see was packs of used condoms. I ran to pick my cloths and possibly raise an alarm. I got dressed, found my phone with an envelope. It contained N16,000 and a note asking us to take N2000 each for transport. Tears of anger and rage filled my eyes and the girls around me as well.

"We were drugged and used like tissue paper. I grabbed my phone and noticed a ping came in. I checked my phone and I noticed the BBM group had been deleted, and a message via BBM from MR B came in. He threatened me that if I say a word to anyone, I would regret it.

"I told him he was a bastard, and he said try it. A picture came in, several pictures. In fact, they were pictures of us being naked on the floor. Pictures of the humiliating us but they blurred the faces of the men. In total, I got 20 pictures. I was not myself for a month.

"I went back to school, I had no one to talk to. The rest of the semester was hell for me. My CGPA dropped drastically. It was the worst out of the worst result I ever had.

"Till today, my friends and I have not discussed this with anyone, but all I could do when I heard of Cynthia's story was to narrate my own ordeal anonymously and spread the news, the word, and pray they see it and changed their ways.

"I am now born again. I have given my life to Christ. I fear men so much that I cannot even move close to them. I still have nightmares, but with time, God will strengthen me and I will move on. My advice to single ladies out there is, do not be desperate for fun. Pray to God to open your eyes of understanding, and pray hard. He who kneels before God will stand before kings and queens.

"To all married women, pray hard to God to intervene in your marriages and turn your husbands from bad habits to and bad friends. As for me, I do not think I ever want to get married or date a man again. That chapter has been closed for good in my life.

Please, do not ignore my mail. Please post it. There are a lot of things we ladies need to learn including you. Please post it on your blog and save a soul. It could be your friend, sister, cousin, neighbour.

"God bless you as you pass it on. To all readers, I do not care if you insult me or rain abuses at me. My job is to share this encounter with you and save you from any mishap. God bless you all. Amen."

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
Learn more »

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Comments

Mukut's picture

Horrific!

Olanike,

What a horrific and terrifying tale. I am left speechless. Should i feel sorry for Tonia, or should i be angered by her immature behavior? i think i feel a little bit of both.

Though good sense prevailed that she thought of sharing her story with the rest of us.

Yes, she did suffer in a way no girl or a woman should, and i feel extremely angry toward those 'married' men who wanted to have 'fun' at the expense of others. How shameless of them. They should be put behind bars and locked up for good.

I pray and hope that this story serves as a precedent for girls across the globe to be safe and vigilant while contacting or befriending anyone on any of the social media tools or otherwise.

Thank you Olanike for sharing this with us.

Much love,

Mukut Ray

Greengirl's picture

Yes Mukut

I was also shocked beyond measure, when I came across the story; and you must know that your post on Cyber Stalking inspired me to share the post.

To imagine that some married men would go that far in their search for so called fun is highly regrettable and calls for total condemnation. My mind tells me that aside Tonia and her friends, many other ladies must have fallen victim to the horrific and exploitative practices of the married men. They sure deserve to be put behind bars! I feel so sorry for their wives and the very pressing question I ask myself is if they have daughters and or sisters?

You would agree with me that the story is a must read for every woman, lady and girl. We cannot afford to remain silent and watch others go that way.

Thank you so much my sister and friend for being such an inspiration.

Regards,

Olanike

Mukut's picture

Dear Olanike

Absolutely. I completely agree with you.

Thank you.

Much love,

Mukut Ray

usha kc's picture

Dear Olan, Thank you so

Dear Olan,
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's reallly horrific and eye opening as well.

keep sharing dear sis.

Greengirl's picture

Thank you Usha

I am glad you made out time to read the post and really appreciate your comment. We just must do everything possible to save ourselves and fellow females from such horrible encounters.

Hugs,

Olanike

Celine's picture

Thanks Olanike for sharing.

Thanks Olanike for sharing.

It is widely circulated that most of Nigerian undergraduates go into prostitution in the bid to make money. Some concerned citizens are bringing this to the attention of the government. "Indeed some "money bags" are capitalizing on the vulnerability of Nigerian ladies hence they are sexually abused by the "big shots."

Celine

Greengirl's picture

Great to hear from you!

It is heartwarming to hear from you.

There seems to be an unprecedented rise in the rate and spate of promiscuity as well as sexual abuse in our country. The situation is quite alarming and should be taken more seriously than is currently the case. Young ladies and girls need to be put on the right track to save them from being exploited/perpetual exploitation. In our own little ways, we can continue to raise awareness and remain proactive towards changing the ills that are fast becoming a menace in our society.

I love and appreciate you.

Olanike

Celine's picture

Hi Sister

Greengirl's picture

Worrisome Trend!

Thank you so much sister Celine for sharing this news.I followed the link, and to tell you the truth, the heightening trend of moral decadence in our society is alarming. I cannot help but ask, "Where do we go from here?"

God help us!

Thoughtfully,

Olanike.

Celine's picture

I absolutely agree with you

I absolutely agree with you Nike on the need for continuous awareness raising and educating the young ladies. From my experience of mentoring and work with young women, placing material things above moral is a strong driving force pushing young women into the 'runs.'

The most challenging fact is that most of the ladies take it that you are jealous or that you are enemy of their progress when you talk to them. They never refrain from the act until something bad happens at the course of their activities, and you know-- experience is the best educator.

Yes, we keep exploring ways to changing the ills in our society.

Love you dear sister

Celine

jacquesato's picture

Thanks Olanike

After hearing such a horrific story, I find it important to share this with you,
http://prezi.com/ain3e33us7vw/the-date-rape-awareness-campaign/
All the best!

Jacqueline

Greengirl's picture

Grateful for the information.

I am glad you found the piece and also very grateful to you for sharing such an important link. I am hopeful that every effort made to end violence against women will yield favorable and sustainable results.

Warmly,

Olanike

susa's picture

A living nightmare

What you shared with us was a living nightmare. I shivered as I read it. I am so sad for you, but so proud of you for finding the strength to get beyond this horrible experience, and for sharing it as a warning to others. Cyberstalking is a serious danger to to anyone who can be viewed as a sex object or sexual playboy. Your voice, added to others who have suffered such horrible experiences, may help prevent even more horrendous events, such as Cynthia's alleged murder. Thank your for speaking out!
Susa

Greengirl's picture

Dear Susa

I am glad you found the post and hope too that you would share it with others. Actually, the victim in the story is not me but a young lady who decided that by sharing her story, it would save many other women, young ladies and girls from also falling prey to cyberstalkers. What matters most is that we need to be aware and we must also raise our voices against such acts. Violence against women must be seen for what it is and every possible solution must be explored towards ending it. There is just too much to loose if we remain silent. So as women, we must wake up to the responsibility of speaking out against destructive acts perpetuated against women. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts..

Very warmly,

Olanike

Natalya Rutchyk's picture

we all make mistakes!

thank you for sharing this information!i think this sincere narrative of one's mistake can help dozens of other girls to stay away from trouble and resist the temptations that the world around us presents! let us not judge other people but try to prevent such stories from happening!

Greengirl's picture

Dear Natalya

Thanks for reading. I understand your point of view about not being judgmental, and I am sure that as we continue to share and learn from one another, we will be better off. There is something we can all do in our seemingly little ways to help one another stay out of trouble.
I sincerely appreciate you.

Olanike

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