Community Update

World Pulse Toolkits Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits are all available here.

We are especially excited to share our signature Citizen Journalism and Digital Empowerment Curriculum. Start learning today!

WORRY!!! WORRY!!! WORRY!!!

From the time I was in my mother’s womb,I have been worried. I worried about the fact that my parents were Nigerians and also the type of life they would give me when I was born,I worried about the constant heat that would bleed my skin dry all day long, worried about my mother not understanding what I was saying in baby gibberish and I also worried about the state of my buttocks because my mum was trying to be economical by using towel nappies instead of dry nappies for me as a kid.
Wikipedia.org defines worry as thoughts, images and emotions of a negative nature in which mental attempts are made to avoid anticipated potential threats. As an emotion it is expressed as anxiety or concern about a real or imagined situation. (en.wikipedia.org)
Everyone worries ,but an average Nigerian worries more than every other human being I know. The things we worry about are determined by our priorities, personality and economic status.
I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t worried about something, even in my sleep.
As a kid I worried about all sorts of stuff.
I worried about:
* What type of Christmas cloth I was going to get.
* If Wale the class bully would to pick on me.
* If my mum would let me play football with my friends.
* How many strokes of the cane Uncle Akuma would spank me with for coming late to school.
* Why I didn’t like stuff other girls liked.
* Why I hated R and B music and only had ears for Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.
* Why the eba my aunt Ndidi gave us for lunch always had to be as big as a pyramid.
* Why my dad’s eyes got red with tears every time he inhaled snuff.
* When I would go to China to learn Kung Fu.
* If my mum would win the Tom-Tom lottery.
If I would get kidnapped by Gbomo-Gbomo(kidnappers).
* Why I always got beaten by the same person every year in inter-house sports.
* Why my hips were as stiff as a robbot's and couldn’t do the dance moves of TLC like Queen and Adaeze.
My priorities changed after I got into Kabba and so did my worries,and for the six years I was in secondary school, I worried about;
* How fast my hair would disappear from carrying water for seniors.
* If it was possible to eat stew that had the feet of a cockroach floating on top without any health hazard.
* How long I could keep baba dudu away from myself.
* If bush babies were real or not.
* Why someone three times my size would slap me for stealing her panties if they could never fit my lean frame.
* If violet house would ever win the inter-house sports competition.
* How many times a week my parents would quarrel over mundane things.
* Why I wasn’t getting pimples like the rest of my mates.
* If my crush on Corper Francis was short term or Long term.
* When I would ever get to win a prize on speech and prize giving day.
* If the water I was drinking had the lesser of three demons; shine-shine, frog or dirt.
* How Mr. Awoke ever got a job as a math teacher when we kept correcting him even while solving simple examples.
* Why Mrs. Kolawole married Mr. Kolawole.
* How I could pass my maths exams
By the time I left Kabba and got into the university, these priorities seemed mundane,new ones developed and my hierarchy of needs changed. I worried about
how to get past the advances of some sleezy lecturers,how to avoid any course that had to do with mathematics,how to get a boyfriend who was eight years older than I was,and not hormonally charged all the time and who would take care of all my domestic expenses,I also worried about how to get the guy I had been crushing on to become my friend,and also,how to graduate without bribing my project supervisor.
After I left the university, I was thrown into the realities of the real world immediately, my parents stopped sending me money, my uncles just assumed I had a means of sustainance and I had to start working before I went for my NYSC. My priorities included:
* What to eat when I woke up in the morning.
* How to budget my salary in such a way that it took me through.
* How to spend on toiletries.
* How many people had to be deleted off my blackberry phone.
* The type of man I wanted as a life partner.
* How many times I had to be disappointed to finally get appointed.
* How to keep my relationship with Jesus Fresh and constant.
Nigeria is a very difficult place to live in, this is why people take thanksgiving so seriously because they know that the fact that they are able to see a new month without dying of hunger, or being evacuated from their homes,or being laid off their place of work, etc. is a miracle in itself, so we thank God and ask him in faith to do it again for us next month.
My father worries so much that he got a baldhead before he was thirty-three years old and white hair by the time he was thirty-eight. My dad worries about so many things that it’s like I have to capture the moment when he is relaxed enough to smile. He worries about paying rent both for his shop and at home, he worries about paying school fees, buying books, buying cloths, paying off his debts, sending money to those in the village, the food we are going to eat each day, the type of future we are going to have… It’s not surprising anymore to find my dad turning when he is sleeping because he worries about his children even when he is resting. Most married men worry about their family first, how to keep their jobs and how to take care of the family in the village. My mum worries that she is getting older, she worries about all the things she hasn’t tried out yet, she worries about how many different types of food we are able to cook for our future husbands, she worries if they will be catholic like us, she worries about when I will start acting like a lady, about how many native wears she is able to sew each month and the type of cloths she has to pack to make a fabulous impression for the annual August meeting in the village.

Right now, I worry about ;Getting a job, I worry about dying unfulfilled,marrying a man I will wake up ten years from now being bored with and unhealthily jealous about all the women I suspect him of having extra marital affairs with,how many lives I can affect,not being able to express myself like I want to, f i will ever be rich and powerful enough to effect all the changes i want to among Nigerian women
If i am an hypocrite,if I will make heaven, hell and rapture,that Manchester united will not win the premier league this season,if Nigeria will experience a heat wave soon.
When I will go to Japan to see the skyscrapers and admire the view?
If i will ever be enough.
Finally and most of all, I worry about when the political thief, became a charismatic hero.
Most of my friends who are women within my age group worry about heaven, marrying early and the future, while men within my age group worry first about their families, getting a job and settling down with the right woman. These are examples of what a few of my friends worry about;
Nicholas worries about not having enough sex, not giving enough pleasure to women and his family,
Okechukwu worries about money, and how to get a the perfect poison to kill Nani.
Kike worries about not making it in life, getting bored with marriage and getting fat.
Augustine worries about inequality, poverty and employment.
Poor people living in my area in Lagos worry about;
* Poverty and if it will kill them before hunger does.
* Where to get the best deals on hand me downs.
* If their kids will end up like them
* How to keep their children away from yahoo yahoo .
* The best public schools they can send their children to.
The Rich ones there worry about;
* How quick August can arrive so they can travel to London for summer break.
* Which Highbrow schools to enroll their children.
* Why the building they are erecting in the village isn’t coming along quickly.
* If their kids will be professionals in a field or administrators.
* How to get the latest tech gadget that was just released.
* How much money would be enough bribes to get the new contract from a government agency.
You can never get too high up to forget to worry as a Nigerian, because you know someone lesser is far worse off than you. WHERE ONE MAN’S PROBLEM ENDS, THAT IS WHERE ANOTHER PERSON’S OWN BEGINS.
We never stop worrying about everything, but that does not mean that there are things that we cannot be thankful for, all you have to do is look at the person next to you, count the lines on his forehead and realize you are better off than others!!!

Comments

Amei's picture

Dear Antego - Welcome to this forum

I heard what you have posted and the last sentences makes me feel happier hoping that you are not worrying and being easy on you. Life is a challenge and we all will progress if only we have an attitude to do so.

Once I rememer reading a post on facebook that stated:

"No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by The God’s decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee" - Umar AK-

We can only do our best and then surrender to faith.

Have a wonderful day and enjoy the present.

With Love
Amei

Antego2010's picture

tnks Amei

Life is hard.....especially when you live in Nigeria, but am learning not to concentrate on worries I cannot change bt to give thnks for the present things dat I have.....Afterall, whta good will it do me to have worry lines on my forehead at the age of 22

Mukut's picture

My dear Antego

Antego, haha..yes worry lines at the age of 22, is so not good.And hey, even i like listening to MJ and Houston a lot.

Be happy,after all you have a great community to share and great friends, including me.

Much love and hugs,

Mukut Ray

Antego2010's picture

@mukut

Tnk u for reading my writeup....yeah worry lines at 22...doesn't luk gud on me one bit!!! Am jus gonna try to focus on the postives and try nt to bother so much bout tins I cnt control.....tnks for d offer of new friendship.....have a great week!!

mrbeckbeck's picture

Keep your eye on the positives

Hi Antego,
Thanks for this, it was actually kind of fun to read! While I can sympathize so much with all the worries, I agree with your comment above... we can't bother too much about things we can't control. There's just so much to worry about in the world, from young to old-- we're looking at some wicked problems!

One article that you might enjoy reading is here: http://worldpulse.com/node/19160 It's titled "What's the point of the revolution if we can't dance?" I sometimes need the reminder to take care of myself!

Great to see you active and engaging in the community. I look forward to reading more and connecting with you.

Warm wishes,

Scott Beck
World Pulse Online Community Volunteer

Antego2010's picture

@mrbeckbeck

Thank you for taking time out to read my write up, Life is not easy, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm already worried about what the day is going to bring.....I am changing all that though.....LIVE LIFE NOW!!!

Anita Muhanguzi's picture

Dear Antego

My dear sister we can worry for as long as we live but it will never the current situation that you are in. So we would rather live thinking and believing positively so that the positive energy is in our lives. You can always talk to us your newly found friends on pulsewire as we are here to encourage and help you walk down that difficult path in life. Otherwise you are young and do not need lines on your pretty face. Stay blessed my dear

Mrs. Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Head of Legal and Advocacy
Centre for Batwa Minorities
a.kiddu@gmail.com
cfmlegal@gmail.com
Skype: mrs_muhanguzi

Antego2010's picture

@ Anita

tnk u for reading my blog, i have realized that even if i write about it, i still worry too much. But i am trying to take exercises that will help me curb this habit. I love worldpulse, i feel like i don't have to hide who i am, i be just me and get acceptance. It is a wonderful, communal feeling for all women to have.

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

Inside Congo's Growing Sisterhood

Inside Congo's Growing Sisterhood

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

Mkandeh's picture

Ebola: Sierra Leoneans feel like prisoners

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Blog »

Read the latest from World Pulse headquarters

EMAGAZINE: Bridging Borders

EMAGAZINE: Bridging Borders

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative