SHOULD IT BE AN ISSUE FOR OLDER WOMEN GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUNGER MEN?
“My friend’s daughter Mss Free has brought so much shame to the family. She is 30 years old and is dating a boy of 25 years old. I learn that they are planning to get married. Her father and mother can not move and hold their heads high in the society.
I thank God because, my 49 years old son has made me very proud, he has found a very beautiful young girl for a wife. The girl is in secondary school in form four and is 15 years old. She will make a very good wife for him.” Mr. Culture said
It is clear that culture and tradition has a very strong toll on our society today. Women are always placed at the disadvantaged position. The Cameroonian cultural believes finds it very normal when the women dates or gets married to older men and not the other way round. It is strange that, a man of 49 and above can easily date or get married to a girl of about 15 years but a woman is criticized when she is just a few years older than the her husband.
I keep asking my self why the society looks down on older women getting into relationship with younger men.
Some men confirmed that, it will undermine their authority in the home. They may not be able to exercise their macho power when they are into relationships with older women.
This matter should not be based on age and authority; love should have no boundaries or limits. Age is just an issue of figure and therefore should not be held as a measuring rod to love on people’s relationship.
Mutual understanding and maturity between the couples should be of paramount importance. If the young man is matured enough and understanding, his decisions should not be questioned as to why he dates or gets married to an older woman or the other way round. Everybody has the right of choice and therefore, if an older woman finds a younger man who loves her and they understand each other, the society should not question their choices. By the way, the younger men are not being forced against their will into the relationship with older women unlike the case with younger girls who are being forced into relationships with older men who are fit to be their grand fathers.
Some of the challenges that face such relationship today are:
Decision making on social and economic issues
Pressure from relatives and friends of spouse
These are some of the challenges encountered in this relationship but are not strong enough reasons why a woman should not get into a relationship with a younger man.