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Why only Eve teasing? Why not Adam teasing !?

“Eve teasing”, in itself is something that we often witness on the streets of any country. In some countries it is done in a subtle mode, and in countries like Bangladesh, it’s done with full legitimacy. Last year when a boy of 23 was arrested for eve teasing a girl, his appeal in court was saying, “in no Holy books it’s not said that one can’t harass a girl on the street.” This shows first of all the level of literacy of the people in our country and the blindness towards the status of women as a minority in the country. How many women of us are working and even if they are how many of them are doing what their heart desired to. It is simply because our society works in the notion where, women are to be protected and the only being that can protect are the men in the society.

Eve teasing refers to the physical or verbal harassment of a female by the opposite sex. The name itself is evident that the victims are the females. In Bangladesh women are not allowed to leave the house after a certain time in the evening, and even the women who are allowed are expected to have a good enough reason to which not always is good enough for the ears of her protector. Our culture nurtures the concept of women oppression and the society is expected to abide through that. If a girl is walking down the street in her school uniform and the men around here are making remarks and verbally harassing her, we the people condemn her for walking down that road in the first place. We find it all right when a man wants to sit by the river and feel the wind blow across his face and walk down a lonely road in self-contemplation and finding answers to life questions, but when a woman has the desire to do the very same things she is deemed to be the ‘vamp” and labels are put on her character for not having one in the first place.

The little hole in the wall, we call ventilation is apparently enough for her to weave her whole world around it, and when she is of age she is transferred to another ventilated room to live and that is the window she is supposed to see the world through. But a man can go and experience all that the world has to offer and even feel nature’s blessings with full ambition, but a woman in our country can’t walk down a road not having lustfully vicious eyes feast on her beautiful curves. A man doesn’t have men feasting on his curves not even women dare to feast on a man’s curves as shamelessly in cases of eve teasing.

There have been numerous cases where women, young girls has taken their life just so they could get rid of the shame they are put through by unknown hogging men feasting their eyes on them and verbally communicating their filthy thoughts to her in public. Many may wonder what the law authorities of a country are doing to tackle this situation. The answer is nothing and the little that is done is insignificant in respect to amount of women who are being victimized to this torture. How many men are the cops going to arrest to prevent such adversities?

We being a majority Muslim country, we do maintain high context veiling of women and their restrictions as to how a woman is to behave in midst of society but there again, we are a secularist country where all genders are promised equal opportunity and freedom. There in it are many restrictions but not in any Holy Book is it written that they are not part of a dignified society and that they can’t have rights to freedom and expression. A child while growing up, wants to absorb everything bit of light that the world is giving them, regardless whether the child is a boy or girl.

How is it that even when a girl is eve teased, hardly will the society come forward to give a helping hand? Is it the book bound religion that we follow that holds us back and teaches us sub consciously that it’s appropriate for women to be oppressed or is the failure as a race and a nation that we failed miserably to care about others and their hardships. Why is it so hard for girls in our society to come forward with their complains? It’s simply because as a society we have failed to protect them. We think prevention is better than cure so we pack our women up and restrict their proper social growth so that they are not eve teased and shoveled at. But, not confront the filthy men who engage in such activities. The common scenario here, in Bangladesh is that, if a girl complains about eve teasing, she is not sent to school anymore, she is not allowed to go out and married off to the first knock on the door by her parents who are thinking that they are protecting her from eve teasing by doing all of that.

Question arises, who is the guilty here? The girl? Or the men who can’t keep their eyes of women or the parents who has failed to stand up for their own daughters rights? Who do we blame? The education system that lacks the sensitivity towards equal genders or the book bound religions that we follow or simply the DE-moralization of our society at whole. It is sad that in this age and time, we as a nation may have learnt what the internet is and facebook has become our form of socialization and have long forgotten our “benaroshi” sari’s and adopted Vasabi; yet all these progress is shadowed by our surrendering towards corruption and filth.

We have not moved a bit form the dark ages for our country. Even 40 years after liberation, we have failed to gain freedom in its true essence but adopted a fake snake skin to cover our limitations that has costs us lives of women and encouraged our brutal perceptions towards minorities to be sugar coated with technology and brands. I am yet to experience a democratic and free Bangladesh where a woman can walk down a street fearlessly and sit by a river bank alone just to talk to the wind.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

Kadeen's picture

Thanks for your perspective

I find it very interesting that women have to sacrifice there lifestyle to protect men from committing terrible acts against us. Why do men cannot control themselves? Why when a man commit terrible acts against woman it is the woman's fault? Did the woman force the man at gun point/night point to rape her/beat her? When a woman walk down the street is she holding the man at ransom to harass her? Therefore it is never the woman's fault and violence against woman should be an international disgrace.

Kadeen Dennie
Listener
Pulsewire Magazine
kadeenphd@gmail.com

Briar's picture

@ Kadeen

You are right, apparently in the country I come form from, for which i can wholesomely speak of, it is always the woman's fault for the men to commits terrible acts. I blame Islam's colorblindness approach in educating their people for holding such views.

BrIaR

Kadeen's picture

I know you speak of your

I know you speak of your country, however this behaviour is common all over the world. I see it in the United Stated where and I now live and also in Jamaica where I am from. I also have friends from all over the world who speak of the same thing.

Kadeen

Kadeen Dennie
Listener
Pulsewire Magazine
kadeenphd@gmail.com

Huma's picture

You're right Briar

It frustrates me that women are so objectified. Why can't we be looked at as normal human beings? You're right to say that society has failed our gender. Only by speaking out and educating the masses can this sort of behaviour and thinking change. If a man leers at a woman in public, HE should be the one who's looked down upon, NOT the woman!
Keep writing,
Huma

ChicagoGirl's picture

Yes!

Briar,
What a great article! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your struggles.
You are not alone! Here in America, we still have the same issue. We say things like "boys will be boys" and "he can't help it" - but we never say those things about women. If a woman is attacked while walking alone or in a dark alley, we say that she was "asking for it" and that she "should have known better." We do not hold the men responsible for their part.
It may have only been 40 years since your country's liberation, but already there are amazing women like yourself recognizing the problem and speaking out! You are the beginning of change, Briar, so keep it up! Stay strong and continue writing.
I can't wait to hear more from you.

<3
Arden

amymorros's picture

Thank You

Thank you for sharing. I have never heard the expression before but I understand that it does happen all over the world. And, of course, there is no excuse for it. For a women to feel like she can't walk down a street by herself is wrong. It seems to be taking a long time for societies to change their views. I am glad that you are out there advocating. Thanks for bringing your perspective to a wider audience. Only good things can come from it!

Amy
@amyinstl

Aya Chebbi's picture

Interesting

Dear Briar ,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts in an interesting argumentative approach with your country as a case study.
Is is already a step towards the solution by raising the problem of harassment or "Eve teasing". I share your sentiment of gender inequality and it is universal issue not only in Bangladesh but its impact varies from a culture to another. You have raised many interesting thoughtful questions and I would like to hear from you more about concrete solutions of how we can change our societies.

Keep up the inspiring work!

Aya Chebbi
Proudly Tunisian

Briar's picture

Aya Chebbi

Well Hi,
Thank you for your response. It is the paradigm we live in actually. And how much are we ready to move away from dark ages of humanity. In my country we have limited freedom of speech and press so not always everything gets through, but you people reading being aware is where it starts from.
Thanking you.

BrIaR

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