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MARIAGE PRECOCE EN RDC

Il y a certains hommes qui utilisent les filles d’autrui à faire le mariage précoce tout simplement parce que ces filles n’ont pas de père ou de mère ; ou soient elles sont orphelines alors on les fait coucher avec les papas de 45ans pendant que la fille a soit 18 ans. La pauvre fille n’a aucun soutien pour se défendre, elle tombe dans cette violence.
Un jour une fille pouvait se marier, arrivant le jour du mariage, la fille déjà à l’église, le garçon est encore chez lui entrain de faire la discussion avec ses parents soit disant qu’il ne veut pas se marié. Après plusieurs heures la fille inquiète déjà à l’Eglise, se pose mille et une question, le mari ne vient pas, qu’a – t – il arrivé, le prêtre aussi même chose, et voici le garçon qui s’amène avec un retard extraordinaire, le prêtre bénis le mariage à contre cœur. Ce même jour, quant la fille est arrivé chez son mari, il a directement commencé à taper sur son épouse, les temps passent, les jours, les mois et les années, comme la fille aimait beaucoup son mari, elle a enduré dans ce rythme, elle a eu son premier enfant dans la même souffrance ; le second ; le troisième etc. Jusqu’à la huitième. Et à l’heure où je rédige cette histoire la femme en question souffre, son mari n’a jamais cessé de taper sur lui jusqu’à présent.
Je pense qu’avec ce site WP, nous aurons à parler à ces qui sont de loin ou de près et qui souffrent beaucoup. Comprenez que les femmes en RDC souffrent des toutes sortes des violences qui puissent existées.

English translation by PulseWire member Alvaroos

Early Marriage in the Democratic Republic of Congo

There are some men who use girls to get married simply because these girls have no father or mother, they might also be orphaned, and they are forced to have sex with 45 years old men while the girls are 18 years old. The poor girl has no support to defend herself and she lives in this kind of violence.

One day a girl is going to get married, the wedding day has arrived, the girl is in the church already and the boy is still at his place, arguing with his parents, saying that he doesn´t want to get married. After several hours and the worried girl already at the Church she asks herself one thousand and one questions, the boy doesn’t arrive, what could have happened, the priest asks the same questions, and here it is the boy who arrives extraordinary late. The priest blesses the marriage against his heart feelings. That same day, as soon as the girl arrives to her husband´s place, he immediately starts hitting his wife, time goes by, days, months and years, as the girl still loves her husband, she tolerates this rhythm, she has her first child in this pain, the second, the third and so on…until eight. And at the time I´m writing this story this woman still suffers, her husband has never stopped banging her.

I think that with WP site, we are going to talk to those who are near and those who are far and suffer a lot. You must understand that women in DRC suffer from all kinds of violence that can exist.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

aheraud's picture

Je me pose la question...

Anuarite,
Sans vouloir être indiscrète, est-ce ton histoire ou celle d'une de tes proches? Courage. Prends soin de toi.

Anuarite's picture

Mariage précoce

l'histoire concerne ma nièce qui a longtemps souffert, elle a subie toute sorte de torure qui puisse exister dans ce monde. Il arrive même le temps où son marie lui donne de gifle jusqu'à arriver au point même de lui alever les habis devant ses enfants. ce dernier temps, elle l'a chassée de la maison soit disant qu'elle n'est pas son épouse et il ne reconnais pas ses enfants comme les leur, il demande à chaque enfant d'aller là où il veut, qu'il devient tout ce qu'il veut, et lui ira cherché celle que son coeur aime et qui lui fera des bons enfants.
Son épouse s'est décidé d'aller rester à sa belle famille au lieu d'aller à la maison, jusqu'à ce que ses enfants grandissent et deveiennent quelqu'un de valeur dans la vie.
la vie que menne cette maman m'a beaucoup déranger et quant je le voi, directement je me sens dégouter d'être mariée et tous hommes me deviennent ennemis. comme un adage qui dit: " je voulai me marié, mais les foyers qui sont au tour de moi ne sont pas heureurx, que fairais - je?"
Merci.
A la prochaine.

anolitékrz

There are some men who use girls to get married simply because these girls have no father or mother, they might also be orphaned, and they are forced to have sex with 45 years old men while the girls are 18 years old. The poor girl has no support to defend herself and she lives in this kind of violence.
One day a girl is going to get married, the wedding day has arrived, the girl is in the church already and the boy is still at his place, arguing with his parents, saying that he doesn´t want to get married. After several hours and the worried girl already at the Church she asks herself one thousand and one questions, the boy doesn’t arrive, what could have happened, the priest asks the same questions, and here it is the boy who arrives extraordinary late. The priest blesses the marriage against his heart feelings. That same day, as soon as the girl arrives to her husband´s place, he immediately starts hitting his wife, time goes by, days, months and years, as the girl still loves her husband, she tolerates this rhythm, she has her first child in this pain, the second, the third and so on…until eight. And at the time I´m writing this story this woman still suffers, her husband has never stopped banging her.
I think that with WP site, we are going to talk to those who are near and those who are far and suffer a lot. You must understand that women in DRC suffer from all kinds of violence that can exist.

Alvaroos's picture

Bonjour Anuarite

Anuarite, cette histoire est terrible, et encore plus terrible en sachant qu´il se passe dans votre famille. A mon avis, le soutien familier est très important donc les femmes frappés par la violence ont un lieu où aller et quelqu' un á parler. C´est aussi important si vous savez de cette situation, de la dénoncer et ne pas rester silencieuse.

Álvaro Ortega Sebastián

Portland OR USA

binapatel33's picture

MARIAGE PRECOCE EN RDC

Hi Anuarite,
Wow! Thank you sharing this story with us. It is very hard to "see" what continues to happen to women. Is there anyway that you can help create a "girl's club" where all of you women can get together and talk it out? Work with each other and try come up with unity to help one another out. I can see that it will be very difficult.

I agree the WP site will help! Is your friend a member of the WP?

Kind Regards,
Bina Patel
hc Mediate, LLC
www.hcmediate.com

wanja's picture

Shout until the beating stops!

Dear Anuarite,

Thank you for sharing this. It takes much courage to speak against a vice that is so common, it is almost permissible. For a long time, married women have condone abuse because their mothers and grandmothers endured it. In my culture women are called Atumia - 'the one who keeps everything unspoken,' This silence is seen as a virtue. you will often hear older women tell younger women on their wedding day how silence is a golden virtue to a married woman. Meanwhile, women die and more are maimed by their so called beloved husbands. It is about time women join hands and speak out loud against violence at home and anywhere.
I commend you for your courage.

Keep talking until something gives and women can know peace at home!

Regards

Liz

EWG

Masooma Maqsoodi's picture

Dear Anuarite, Thanks for

Dear Anuarite,

Thanks for sharing the story of women of DRC with us. If women do not talk against violence, then how their daughters would know that they do not deserve to be beaten by men, and their sons learn that domestic violence is a ethical and legal crime against humanity? If women keep remaining silence, the circles never breaks. You are the voice of these women to the outside world, but it would be great that somebody help these women hear their own voice which is shouting from within, but does not find a way out, sometimes even to their own ears.
Changing traditions and people’s attitude is not simple. We cannot just expect the society to change over night. It takes time and patience. But people like you who hear and observe the suffering of these women, can be the leading figures in this journey. Most people do not react positively when somebody lectures at them. So maybe using artworks, displaying documentaries and distributing poems, workshops and campaigns in schools, performing dramas or any other form of art that discuss the roots of violence and condemns it would be helpful to awaken the society. We need to trust the capacity of human beings for change. If we have hope, then I believe there are many things we can do. The question is how committed to our hopes and dreams we are.
Love,
Masooma

Caroline Gujarati's picture

Thank you for this story,

Thank you for this story, Anuarite. These abuses against women continue almost unseen by others because it is so common. In my experience, the best that can be done is to listen to these women's stories and share with them your own. Speak out against it the way you are doing here on World Pulse. Thank you so much for letting us all in.

Anuarite's picture

Merci beaucoup ma chère

Merci beaucoup ma chère Caroline, vu les difficultés qui comblent la vie, les femmes de chez nous sont un peu perturber dans leurs tête, peut imaginer qu'une femme peut se marier mais elle ne verra son mari que le jour où elle a besoin de faire l'amour avec celui ci, ce le mari est voyageur et n'arrive à la maison qu'une fois le trois ans, il vient pour engrosser seulement sa femme, pauvre femme qu'elle est, elle s'occupe des soins de ses enfants, elle n'a pas où gagné quelque chose, elle part transporter les fardeaux pour avoir de quoi vivre, encore en ceinte, donc elle ne sait pas quoi faire. Une fois accouchée, elle tombe malade de la quoichorcaul suite au manque de quoi manger et son mari est absent de la maison; avec cette situation, certaines femmes n'ont pas le temps pour se documenter, chose grave si la maman a une fille à la maison, cette fille se lance dans la prostitution pour voir si sa famille trouvera de quoi vivre, un voisin lui fait la cours en lui disant qu'il sera à sa disposition et satisfera à ces besoins, si est seulement si, elle accepte de coucher avec ce dernier. Alors la pauvre fille tout en craignant, et vu la vie qu'elle mène, elle se laisse faire, aussi elle cache à sa mère. une qu'elle tombe en ceinte; elle ne sais plus quoi faire, elle arrive au point de vouloir enlever cette grossesse précoce, sans faire allusion aux risque y afférent. La vie lui devienne maintenant de plus en plus mal.
Merci beaucoup, je me limite par ici, à demain
Anuarite.

anolitékrz

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