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VIOLENCE FAITES AUX FEMMES DANS CERTAINS TRIBU DE LA RDC

Dans certains tribu de chez nous, si une femme se marie, quand elle n'a pas encore mis au monde, son mari ne peut pas lui faire quelque comme habis ou souliers, les pauvres femmes se forcent de mettre au monde chaque année pour avoir l'habis neuf ou même quoi vêture son corps. Comme nous les savons tous l'histoire de la grosse chez une femme c'est un tombo, une femme en ceinte cours beaucoup de risques; comme la coishorcor (bwaki), la mort etc. et comme dans nos villages sont rares les femmes qui vont à l'écographie pour savoir l'état et la position de son enfant dans le ventre, alors se mettent à faire des enfants chaque année par manque d'information et des moyens matérielles.
Dans nos cultures, quans une fille ateint l"âge de 28ans, on commencer à se moquer d'elle soit disant qu'elle ne se mariera plus, car elle est vieillie. la pauvre fille décue, elle fait la prostitution suite aux influences reçu dans la société, un fois enceinter, elle est chassée de la maison, en route elle n'a pas où aller, maintenant elle se pose mille et une question. même si la fille n'avait pas envie de se marié à ce tôt; comme avait dit un écrivain qu: "La maternité n'était pas mon lot" car elle savait que, quoique se soit qu'elle soit femme, elle n'a pas l'amour maternel, dans nos cultures on se toujour qu'une femme est là pour mettre au monde, se mariée et faire la vaiselle; rien d'autre que ça.
- si nos femmes avait chacune un ordinateur et une connection internet, elles auraient des information sur comment vivre les autres dans d'autres pays et comment elles reussissent à jouir de leurs droits.
- si nos femmes recevaient les mêmes éducations que les hommes (scolaire que familliale) elles occuperons aussi une place respectueuse dans la vie car dit on: "Eduquer une femme s'est éduqué tout la nation).

English translation by PulseWire member AnnieTheriault

Violence against Women in Certain Tribes of the DRC

In certain tribes, if a woman gets married and does not give birth to a child, then her husband does not provide her with new clothing or shoes. These poor women try to give birth to a child every year to obtain new clothing, or just something to cover their bodies. As we all know, pregnancy is a “tombo” because pregnant women face many risks, such as “coishorcor” (bwaki), death, etc. And because in our villages it is rare that women that get sonograms to determine the position of the baby, they get pregnant each year and lack information and material support.

In our culture, when a woman reaches the age of 28, people start mocking her and say that she is old and will never marry. The poor girl is disappointed, she gets involved in prostitution because of societal influences and, once she is pregnant, she is kicked out of her home. She has nowhere to go and asks herself thousands of questions. And if a girl doesn’t want to marry at a young age, just as a novelist who wrote: “maternity is not for me” because, though she was a woman, she didn’t feel she had a maternal instinct, in our culture the only thing a woman does is give birth and wash dishes. Nothing else.

If the women of Congo had computers and access to the Internet, they could obtain information about how other women, in other cultures, live and how they exercise their rights. If women received the same education as men (schooling and in the family), then they would be respected. As the saying goes, “if you educate a woman, you educate a nation”.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

AnnieTheriault's picture

Translation

Violence against Women in Certain Tribes of the DRC

In certain tribes, if a woman gets married and does not give birth to a child, then her husband does not provide her with new clothing or shoes. These poor women try to give birth to a child every year to obtain new clothing, or just something to cover their bodies. As we all know, pregnancy is a “tombo” because pregnant women face many risks, such as “coishorcor” (bwaki), death, etc. And because in our villages it is rare that women that get sonograms to determine the position of the baby, they get pregnant each year and lack information and material support.

In our culture, when a woman reaches the age of 28, people start mocking her and say that she is old and will never marry. The poor girl is disappointed, she gets involved in prostitution because of societal influences and, once she is pregnant, she is kicked out of her home. She has nowhere to go and asks herself thousands of questions. And if a girl doesn’t want to marry at a young age, just as a novelist who wrote: “maternity is not for me” because, though she was a woman, she didn’t feel she had a maternal instinct, in our culture the only thing a woman does is give birth and wash dishes. Nothing else.

If the women of Congo had computers and access to the Internet, they could obtain information about how other women, in other cultures, live and how they exercise their rights. If women received the same education as men (schooling and in the family), then they would be respected. As the saying goes, “if you educate a woman, you educate a nation”.

brianna.warren's picture

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for shedding light on the challenging norms you have witnessed in the tribes of the DRC. It sounds like you are truly passionate about making sure girls and young women have, above all else, choice when it comes to their environment, their bodies, and their desire to become educated. I agree with you completely -- women deserve the opportunity to live the life they imagine for themselves, whether that means raising children, attending school, or doing any number of things, but it is all the more difficult when the culture at large has different expectations.

If you would like to share more, I would love to hear what struggles you have faced personally and how you have confronted them. What has your experience been like as a woman in the DRC?

Thank you again for sharing, and I hope to continue learning more from you.

Brianna

RachelinBrazil's picture

Societal pressure

Anuarite -

Thanks so much for your words about societal pressures in the Congo. In almost every society there is pressure on women to act a certain way, and do certain things, but when that pressure threatens the health and lives of women, it can often be tragic. I agree with you that education is key. Educating women allows them to make better choices for themselves and their families. I also believe that education of men is important - educating them on the value of women outside of strictly traditional roles, and the happiness that can come from treating all women with the respect they deserve.

Like Brianna above, I would love to hear more about your own experience. I myself have seen the pity in people`s eyes when I tell them I am not married, not something I feel for myself at all!

Wishing you the best,

Rachel Lovejoy
Sao Paulo, Brazil

es813's picture

Break the Cycle

Anuarite-
I'm so glad you are bringing awareness around the expectations set in certain tribes where you live. It is horrible to think that women must have children in order to have their basic needs covered such as clothes and shoes. It's just as unfortunate that children are being born for this reason and then witnessing the expectations as they grow up and then perpetuate the cycle with the next generation.
I am in complete agreement with you that we must somehow find a way to break this cycle by educating women and giving them opportunities to be able to be independent so that they are making decisions that are right for them and their families, rather than for their basic survival needs.
Any suggestions on how this can happen in some of the tribes of DRC? Certainly, bringing awareness as you are doing is the first big step forward. I thank you for your courage to speak up.
liz

sallysmithr's picture

Appreciate you sharing

Anuarite,

I truly appreciate you sharing the struggles you and women like you are facing. Although not so extreme there still remain many stigmas around women. I myself am 30 and already divorced and have no children. All I hear from people is when are you going to get remarried, why don't you have children, do you want children, etc. I find that it is very important for us to do what we feel is right for us. I love children dearly and get to work with children on a daily basis as well as seeing my niece and nephew, but what I find is right for me is focusing on my goals which is to continue working very hard and continuing to increase my education and I guess just being me. I hate to know that you and other women are "forced" to have children just to have basic needs. I wish you all the best and if you would ever like to talk more I would be honored to share more with you.

Sally

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