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LA VIOLENCE PERSITE EN REPUBLIQUE DEMOCRATIQUE DU CONGO

Un jour dans notre Pays il a eu un mariage dont un homme avec 3 femmes, et cette mariage était bénie à l’église ; alors je me suis demandé la quelle parmi ces femmes avait il couché avec c jour là? Tout en étant inquiète, je me suis dit ; si toutes les femmes de notre pays pouvaient se convenir de ne plus accepter ce genre de bêtise qu’avaient connue ces autres, je pense qu’il n’y en aura plus l’autre jour car ce n’est même pas autorisé dans notre pays. Cette violence est survenue par manque de soutient morale et peut être matériel aussi.

Dans nos cultures, la femme est considéré comme un vaut rien comme je l’avais toujours dit suite au manque d’information et d’appui intellectuelle, quant elles veulent revendiquer leurs droits, on leurs montre toujours qu’une femme n’a aucun droit à réclamer devant les hommes et dans la société entière. Par exemple une femme qui vient de perdre son mari ; s’elle n’a pas mis au monde même un garçon au monde alors cette femme est écarté directement de l’héritage des biens de son mari. Est – ce que la femme n’était pas créée aussi à l’image de Dieu pour qu’elle soit traiter ainsi ? et ci oui, pourquoi alors ça ?

Vraiment ça me fait mal au cœur de cette déconsidération qui persiste dans nos cultures (RDC), aussi une fille qui vient de perdre son père biologique ne peut non plus hériter les biens de ce dernier, dans ce cas on fait appel aux oncles, tentes, petits frères et petites sœurs pour venir hériter les biens dudit père. Es- ce que la femme n’a – t –elle le même pas la même capacité que l’homme ? Et si Oui, pourquoi elle n’arrive pas à hériter les biens de son père ou de son marie? Réponses : La manque de soutient intellectuelle font appelle à tous cela. Si on faisait étudier les femmes au même pied d’égalité que les hommes, on aura trouvé la solution à certains problèmes lié au genre dans nos cultures

English translation by PulseWire member AnnieTheriault
Violence persists in the Democratic Republic of Congo
One day, in my country, there was a wedding. A man married his third wife, and it was sanctioned by the church. So, I asked myself: which one will he sleep with that night? I was worried and I thought to myself: if every woman in the Congo decided to stop tolerating this kind of nonsense, then it would stop. It is not even authorized in our country. This violence is a result of the lack of moral support and, perhaps, material support. In our culture, a woman is considered worthless –this, as I said, is because of the lack of information and intellectual support. And when a woman demands that her rights be respected, she is told that she has none. For example: if a woman becomes a widow and has not given birth to a son, then she cannot inherit. Were women not also created in God’s image? If so, then why do such things occur?

The lack of consideration for women in our culture breaks my heart. A daughter who loses her father cannot inherit either. Rather, her uncles, aunts, little brother and sisters do. Do women not have the same capacities as men? And if they do, why can they not inherit from their husbands or fathers? The answer: the lack of intellectual support. If women were allowed and encouraged to study, as men, then we would find the solution to many of the problems in our culture.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
Learn more »

Comments

milsgra's picture

La polygamie dans votre pays.

Merci de votre récit tant déchirant. Je voudrais savoir un peu plus sur la prévalence de ce phénomène. La polygamie existe t-elle Dans la société traditionnelle? L'État reconnait-il l'union plurielle? Les femmes dans les mariages pluriels souffrent-elles une sorte de violence d'après vous? Ces femmes qui se sont victimes (si je me permets l'usage de ce mot) sont-elles au courant de l'existence des autres femmes? Ont-elles recourt au divorce? Quand est-il des enfants de ces unions. Pourriez-vous débattre ces thème dans votre récit? Élaborez un peu sur le cas de ces femmes, SVP. Merci,ensemble nous élèveront la voix des femmes marginalisées du RDC.

A bientôt et Bonne continuation.

Pénina

AnnieTheriault's picture

Translation

Violence persists in the Democratic Republic of Congo
One day, in my country, there was a wedding. A man married his third wife, and it was sanctioned by the church. So, I asked myself: which one will he sleep with that night? I was worried and I thought to myself: if every woman in the Congo decided to stop tolerating this kind of nonsense, then it would stop. It is not even authorized in our country. This violence is a result of the lack of moral support and, perhaps, material support. In our culture, a woman is considered worthless –this, as I said, is because of the lack of information and intellectual support. And when a woman demands that her rights be respected, she is told that she has none. For example: if a woman becomes a widow and has not given birth to a son, then she cannot inherit. Were women not also created in God’s image? If so, then why do such things occur?

The lack of consideration for women in our culture breaks my heart. A daughter who loses her father cannot inherit either. Rather, her uncles, aunts, little brother and sisters do. Do women not have the same capacities as men? And if they do, why can they not inherit from their husbands or fathers? The answer: the lack of intellectual support. If women were allowed and encouraged to study, as men, then we would find the solution to many of the problems in our culture.

j_cambra's picture

"Fractional Rights"

Thank you for sharing your story. This is the first story I have read during the EVAW program and I am amazed how different the laws and cultures are across the world. Is it wide spread in your country that all men have more than one wife? I understand what your saying about if all DRC woman reject the multiple wife idea. Having multiple wives keeps the man in the position of power and only gives each wife a fraction of it. Plus the fraction could continue to decrease depending on the number of wives the husband ends up having. How do you think you could get woman in your area to stop the cycle? You mentioned intellectual support, which I think is spot on, but how do you envision it starting and building up? Keep on getting the word out as you are making a difference.

Sincerely,
Justin

Gbemi Abeow's picture

Your voice makes a difference!

Dear Anuarite,
It is sad that the role of women in building up society is often downplayed, much worse is that women are relegated and made to suffer more woes than life itself would ordinarily throw at us. Be encouraged and be strong, dear Anuarite, for there is hope. Your voice represents the many silent voices of women who have endured this. Your voice makes it possible for us all to stand by you and by them. It makes it possible for all of us to give and share and support one another and realise the change we desire.

Your Truly,

Gbemisola Abiola

topieopolot's picture

RE; thank you for sharing

Dear Anurite, thank you for sharing your story. its sad and disheartening to hear that this kind of practice is still done in DRC and in this era? , I say shame to Joseph kabila and his cronies for letting this go on till now!
any way having many wives is something that African men have adopted and definitely gives them power over women more so in Africa.
what we need as you mentioned is a need for intellectual support, education,advocacy and sensitization can do this. it will give the women an awareness of them as women, understand our God given rights as human beings regardless of sex, race, physical make up. is there any policy at all that promotes women?
May i ask you, are there any human rights organizations/ activist in your region that are rising awareness on human rights or has the government done anything at all to help women?
Also widows, girl child all have rights to inheritance by virtue of their being humans and for the men there to fail to understand this makes me question their intellect. You are as strong and have brains just as any man so let none of them load it over you about being nothing or useless because you are not!
As for the church that sanctioned that marriage, is it for real, really ? its simply sad and shocking that they can afford to do that, they don't deserve the respect given to churches world over...its promoting women suppression there.
i hope that the government of DRC wakes up soon and take up measures to help you there coz this is surely absurd in this era. It shd emulate their neighbors like Uganda, kenya etc and encourage girl child education...education is for all and its the "key to success" as its been sung as long as i can remember... As it happens DRC President was on a visit to Uganda, i hope he picked up a lot of good things like girl child education to implement.
in any case you ladies should never give up or let men there continue to degrade you for to do so is to give them absolute power.
thank you again for sharing and i hope and pray along with you that things turn out for the better and soon.
take care

Anuarite's picture

LA POLYGAMIE

La Bible nous dit que pour lutter contre la débauche, il faut que chaque homme ait sa femme et nos ses femmes et chaque femme ait son mari et non ses maris.
Ce qui étonne en est que même à l’Etat Civil on a jamais enregistrer ces genres de mariage et non plus à l’église mais les hommes en font fiers.
Alors, s’ils s’avéraient qu’avoir épouses multiples ne pas un péché, cette dernière n’aurait pas tord lors de l’héritage une fois que son soit disant mari meurt, et elle ne sera pas appelée deuxième bureau de ce dernier. Encore l’exemple d’Abraham dans la Bible où Dieu l’avait demandé de Chasser la maitresse et ses enfants de sa maison car ils ne valent pas d’être avec lui et ces enfants n’étaient pas de la promesse de Dieu.
Voici ce qui fait à ce que les femmes acceptent aussi ces genres de sottises :
1. INFLUENCE :
 Manque de soutient intellectuel, elles n’ont pas un bagage intellectuel qui peuvent leurs permettre de revendiquer leur droits (niveau d’intelligence trop bas « 3e primaire, 4e secondaire).
 Manque des moyens financiers et matériels entre autre l’emploi pour ceux qui avaient étudié et qui ont un bagage intellectuel.
2. PAUVRETE ET INJUSTICE :
 Manque de quoi vivre et faire revivre ses enfants.
 Maltraitance de certaines femmes par leurs maris.
 Etc.

anolitékrz

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