women and abuse
It was early last year when one of the secretary of PLWHIV support group entered my office with a women in her late twenties, holding her little tiny baby in her thin hands.
As they sat down, the secretary introduced the mother and her child. The child was only two months old. Later the secretary informed me why they had come and told me that the woman will tell her own story.
As you can see, am not ok,she said
It all started two years ago, after being married happily for seven years, we have four children. I stared noticing change of behavior in my husband, he started coming late,drunk and he started creating fights for no apparent reasons.He stopped supporting the family fully like he used to and when ever you asked him about things like money, school fees, he would always say am just a minor business man and there is no business nowadays.
To make the story short, one day, he never came home, we looked and waited for him for seven whole nights but he never showed up not until the eighth day. But the days that followed were hell! my husband would beat me, beat my children and would leave us without food, the small business i had collapsed due to the fact that we ate every thing, my relatives who in the first place were against my marriage never gave a dame to what was happening to me and my children. My children stopped school. Few months late I became very ill and when i went to the hospital i was told am pregnant.
But the illness continued after which my husband who now became a stranger, took me and the kids to my old mother in the village where i was nursed.After my illness worsted, my old mother decided to take me to the hospital as she was obvious i had the most talked about disease in the village.
You are HIV positive and your CD4 account is very low, i was told. You need to be put on A RTs
as soon as possible.
although my mama accepted it and did what ever was supposed to be done, in my own thoughts i was a living corpse,
I questioned my self and my God, why!
Though the road wasn't easy, upon taking the drugs, i began to recover and within few months i gave birth to my boy of course with medical precautions.
My baby is HIV- negative.
Ever since i went to the village with all my children, my husband never came back for me and the kids. My family became suspicious and told me to go back to my husband as he never chased me, they insisted. Was it not for my children i could have stayed with my old mother.but she was too old to start taking care of me and my children
When we reached home, there was no one and my neighbors told me that my husband married another woman and living with her. I followed my husband at his work place, and found him. he told me frankly that he is married and his new wife is expecting, i wasn't surprised at all and then told him to give us the keys to our home, and that i wanted to tell him some thing very important if he had time.
Later that afternoon he came with some shop rite plastic bags full of goods, he thanked me for understanding and told me that he will arrange for our meeting (his new wife and i).
I never showed him my drugs but i convinced him some how to go with me for a test, we were all tested positive, He refuted this fact and told me never to tell someone.
My problem was not over, when it came to sex, he refused to use a condom and in most cases raped me, when i refused to do it he forced and beat me up
Two months ago, he moved out of our home with all his things and sold the house without our concern.He has totally refused to help or support any of his children.
My child needs formula milk, my children are hungry and my relatives say they are tired of me, am illiterate, don't have a capital to start my own business's, my mum is too old to look after me and my children all over.These are but a few complaints that this woman made!
This and many more are what women can go through!
My coordinator referred this woman to an appropriate organization where she was assistant.