Op-Ed Assignment Terminating the cycle of violence in families (draft)
Terminating the cycle of violence in families
In 1992，Paulette Kelly wrote this poem I got flowers today for all battered women. All most twenty years late, an American women “throw away” the “flowers” publicly in China and made her famous Chinese husband facing the public condemn. Her husband named Liyang, the founder of Crazy English in China, who taught thousands students how to learn English.Now their divorce case enter into the proof stage. Many people critisized Liyang, but few people notice that he was a victim too.
He lived with his maternal grandmother after birth, when back to his family four years old,his parents were stranger to him. Although his parents were Intellectuals, they often quarreled and were rude to him. As a child, he was shy, introverted, afraid to meet strangers.
When a famous newspaper interviewed him, he said his wife needed reflection too, He said in China” Others fight everyday. Dad beats Mum, Mum beats Dad, parents’ beats children, don’t take the ‘beat’ as a big deal.”
Liyang told the turth in China. Just as the old saying” Club teach the children be filial piety”.Chinese traditional ideas rationalize the phenomenon of beating their children, the public generally that hit the child in the education of children is good for children to play a few children is not domestic violence.
Last year, the Beijing Youth Legal Aid and Research Center delivered the Minors, victims of domestic violence cases to investigate and research reports. Survey found that 86.33% of the violence cases to children are parents did in the media reports of 300 cases. Small minors under the age of 10 are more vulnerable to domestic violence.
Acturely, the violence is a big deal. Liyang himself is a good example. He admitted that child should stay with their parents before four years old.Marital violence is not only limited to the direct harm to the women, and more likely to indirectly affect all family members, especially for children who have witnessed violence, who are more likely become another of the perpetrators of the "cycle of violence". The reseracher, Jialun Li of Institute of Family EducationNational Chiayi University said in the article” Investigate of the Domestic Violence”. The children perhaps take it for granted that violence is the behavior of love.
The "cycle of violence" was also proved in nature world. Last year, Chinese National Geographic magazine reported that in the Galapagos Islands of the eastern Pacific, scientist found that bullyed by adult seabirds, after growing up; the little seabirds will bully their children.
Somebody will say that not all perpetrators come from the violence family. That is ture. Not only the family violence, will other family problem cause the children problem after they grow up.
after the abused chiledren grow up ,they perhaps deny their parents behavoir and will not beat his wife and child, but their way to deal with the problem is not healthy, sometimes masochistic situation, violence to theirselves.No doubt that every perpetrator come from a family with problem.
When talking about how to prevent and suppress family violence, people often focus on the disciplinary after violence happened, but few people focus on family education.Just as the medias all reported the Liyang’s family violence,but few of them search back to the childhood of Liyang.
In order to prevent family violence, the legislation is needed at first. In America, Prevention of child abuse bill clearly defined the "Mandatory reporting": If only reason to suspect that children in the family may be victims of violence can be reported, anybody, such as neighbors, doctors, teachers, health care personnel can report. China need the anti-domestic violence law and children's domestic violence prevention law.
However the legislation is not enough. The gender education in family is also impertant.In tradition; boys are not encouraged to cry when they are angry. But they do not grasp healthy way to release their negtive emotion in stead of violence. The positve influence to girls is also improtant. In China, few wives will speak out their family violence publicely because they were taught to be gentle and patient but not independent. More Kims will let people focus on family violence and make progress.