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Save the Children, Break the Womyn

I am pro-life. Meaning, I believe in the sanctity of life, from the unborn to the dying. War and excessive violence in all forms makes me extremely upset. This belief is very much influenced not only by my own heart but also by my Catholic upbringing. I no longer identify as Catholic and am aware that my morals stem from that religious system. I am also pro-choice. Meaning, I believe in every human being’s right to make choices that they feel best suit their life regardless of my convictions or disagreement.

When it comes to abortion, I have an emotional reaction to it when I think of having to make that choice for myself. I know this feeling might be subject to change and that one day I may be put in a position where having a child would be considered unwise. However, I deeply feel I cannot emotionally, mentally or spiritually survive it. I know myself well enough to know that it would take a very long time to recover from it, if ever at all. I neatly tuck my personal feelings about it away as well as I can when it comes to other womyn and their choices. I truly feel that it is a choice that some womyn need to make for themselves for a multitude of reasons. I have seen this choice prevent womyn from being in abusive relationships for longer than necessary, financial instability, loss of educational/career opportunities, and other reasons. I once served as an abortion doula last year. It was hard to do, and necessary. My emotions came secondary to her needing a compassionate and grounded womyn by her side to get her home and make sure she was okay the days after. I would do it again if it was asked of me because at the end of the day, I am committed to womyn, their health and their right to choose what happens to their bodies. Period.

The word pro-choice also applies to womyn who choose to carry their fetus to full term. I have my own personal feelings about birthing and the way it is done in this world, and again, my emotions come secondary to what a birthing womyn’s needs and wishes are at that moment. As a birth doula, it is my charge to hold the space for a womyn and support her choices. Unfortunately, womyn, doulas, midwives and birth activists are constantly under attack by a system that seperates womyn from their right to choose. A system more concerned with the “welfare” of the child than the womyn. We have come to a point in the reproductive health movement where keeping abortion rights and childbearing rights apart is no longer conducive for the simple fact that at the end of the day, it is about womyn and her rights. To make abortion illegal because a womyn is “killing” a child and she can get fired and be disrespected in her workplace if she is pregnant makes no sense. To eliminate birth control methods and coerce womyn into unnecessary Caesarean sections, induction of labor and ignoring their inner wisdom all falls under the fight for the right to choose what happens to our bodies.

This was all made abundantly clear to me after I had the pleasure of sitting at a meeting with the National Advocates for Pregnant Women yesterday morning. As a womyn on my way to becoming a certified nurse-midwife, it is important for me to know the legal discourse around childbirth. At this meeting, I also met sisters from Mexico with an organization called GIRE, who works on reproductive rights with a focus on abortion. What I loved about the meeting was that GIRE was there to learn more about childbearing rights because they wanted to expand their work to pregnant womyn and their rights. I heard about how in this country and abroad, womyn are in court because of having miscarriages, abortions and refusing to go along with doctors with matters in their pregnancies. What I came away with was this piece I have written.

To save children is not to call in child services, prohibit abortion or demand pregnant womyn follow doctors blindly. To save childern, hell, to save this world, our womyn must be respected. Their right to their bodies, to express their nurturing energy in any way that is not just biological must be upheld and protect.

Save the womyn.

This story was written for World Pulse’s Ending Violence Against Women Digital Action Campaign.

World Pulse believes that women's stories, recommendations, and collective rising leadership can—and will—bring an end to gender-based violence. The EVAW Campaign elicits powerful content from women on the ground, strengthens their confidence as vocal grassroots leaders, and ensures that influencers and powerful institutions hear their stories.
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Comments

olutosin's picture

Thanks Darling!!!

I love all your write ups.

To save children is not to turn away child bearing-age women from good jobs.
To save children is not to treat pregnant women like diseased women inn Nigeria for example; you want to board a bus, the driver sees its a pregnant woman and zoom off.

To save children is not to turn off pregnant women at the embassy.
To save children is not to ask a job seeker to sign that She won't be pregnant for certain years After
Years after employment.
To save children is to ban child beggars in Northern Nigeria and other Muslim countries.
To save children is to Stop child sexual abuse.

There is more to saving children than stopping abortion

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Barbara M Bracewell's picture

Women have Rights too

When it comes to whether or not a child should be born, I personally believe that every baby should be given a chance at life. There are however circumstances in which I believe a child should be aborted: if it threatens the mother's or baby's life or if it results from rape (and the mother prefers to get rid of the pregnancy) In Liberia, during the war, many women were raped and chose to deliver their babies. Some gave them up immediately after birth by allowing loving families to adopt them and yet others decided to bravely raise their child but, unfortunately having a daily and constant reminder of the way the child was conceived. Women I believe have the right to decide what happens to their bodies. It is a personal decision and one which often causes sleepless nights, pain, guilt and grief for women who are torn between having the baby or aborting it. The last thing that needs to happen is to heap any more guilt on such women or to make choosing to give birth or having an abortion a political issue. Doctors are only human and even though they are trained medical personnel the final decision of what to do with her body should be solely the woman's.

BMBracewell

nusrat1977's picture

Yes Dear!

Thank you for your write up about saving children. Yes, children are so innocent. How can people think of killing them, I do not understand. I too feel, abortion without a valid reason should be stopped. Its true that when a woman is forced to conceive due to rape, it is extremely hard for her to deliver the baby and raise it due to the social stigma associated. I do not know what is right to at that time. May be it should be left to her. The unborn child is a part of her. She should not be pressurized to take any decision.
I agree so much with Olutosin's points. Saving the children means all those she pointed out. I also would like to add that To save a child is to ban child labor, To save a child is to give him/her education, not to deprive them from their fundamental rights, to make them a responsible citizen and most importantly it also can imply
To save a child is to save a woman, her rights because mother's bosom is the child's first school. If a mother is abused, if her rights are not protected then its hard to save children too.
Thank you
Best regards
Nusrat

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. ..........Hellen Keller

sallysmithr's picture

Great thoughts!

Thank you so much for sharing. I agree with much of what you say and my favorite was your last sentence, "Their right to their bodies, to express their nurturing energy in any way that is not just biological must be upheld and protect." The difficult part with these types of arguments is as you mentioned there is no black and white response. I really appreciate you sharing!!

Sally

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