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Unexpected Places; Unwanted Challenges

"Surrender expectations for a desired outcome"

I heard this a few years ago and since have been striving to reach that goal. I set out in a direction, waiting and hoping against hope for the outcome I want. Will I never learn this lesson? I, again, forgot the 'surrender' part.

I now find myself in an unwanted, undesired, and sometimes seemingly impossible situation to 'get out of'. Perhaps that's the hangup; the reason for lack of progress. How often are we trying to force a situation to happen? To see ourselves in a dark hole, unable to emerge unscathed. What if I changed my perspective? Saw it not as a hole but as a long, meandering path with rabbit trails and switchbacks. Nothing to 'get out of', but something to move gracefully through. Or just through. Maybe not gracefully.

This situation I'm in leaves my career behind me for now. Maybe changing my trajectory even. I can see this as another step on this path and use what I know to continue loving myself, loving my brothers and sisters I see on either side, to gain more tools to be used at the other end.

It is a challenging thing for me to be held from actively serving others at this time. I have had to learn to BE served. A new perspective. Refreshing. Humbling.

So, as I continue on this path to healing and wholeness I will resist the temptation to call it a 'hole', and see that what I do has value as long as my heart is true. Even if it's just taking care of myself for now. Because I can't change the world until I've healed myself. So, until that time, I will continue to do what I can: to encourage others; love people; be a light of hope, no matter how dim, to show that things may not turn out the way we expect, but rather what we expect dissolves into a stance of openness. Because it is then the miracle can happen.



Maddy M.'s picture

Dear Cali, Thanks for sharing

Dear Cali,

Thanks for sharing such beautiful and intimate reflections. Some of your words echoed my SELF. I hope you've found many lights of hope -dim or bright- since that stop in your path.


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