See It Through
As I lie here with my computer precariously perched on my stomach, every joint and muscle aching, weak from fever and inability to keep food or water down from the flu, my head whirls and aches as I struggle to make sense of all I want for the future. I have wanted so much throughout my life to find some kind of resolution for so many things I have gone through. I have burned with anger and resentment and sadness until those feelings burned themselves out and left a kind of clean, hot dedication to use all of my experiences for good. Now I am filled with a passion to use my first-hand knowledge to join in community with others and promote healing and justice. The problem often is, when we have these huge goals, how? How can I possibly change things that seem so much bigger than me, and that are so numerous? If I can’t change it all, is it even worth it to change just one thing? Like the flu makes me want to throw in the towel right now and fall asleep instead of typing this, the challenge of just exactly how to turn my knowledge and desire into something useful seems overwhelming.
I encountered Worldpulse and the Voices of Our Future program at a key time in my life; the kind of time where you discover what you are made of and if all the things you say you want are just talk or if you have what it takes to make it happen. At some point I have to decide I am going to dedicate myself to narrowing all the goals I have down into measurable pieces. I have to accept the fact that we don’t get to the destination without the first step. Through writing each assignment here I have realized that I have the passion, strength, resilience, and knowledge to create the change I want to see; my weakness is in my focus. I am hard at work building a toolkit to do the work, now I just need to decide on the job!
In my future I see a woman who accepts that the smallest of interactions in her immediate community are building blocks to being an effective world citizen. I see a woman who uses her passion for writing to focus an inexhaustible energy into definitive manifestos that clearly and vehemently denounce systems of oppression but also outline clear solutions. I see a woman who uses her own hardships as touchstones for other women, and men too, and as a sounding board and catalyst to create support systems. I see a woman who builds communities and understands that these networks of small communities working towards their greater good form the foundation of a world community. I see a woman who decides to take her knowledge, skills, and experience and turn it into concrete action.
I want to be a Voices of Our Future Correspondent because I want to gather all the tools I can that will help me follow through on my vision for my future. I want to tell my own story and have the honor of sharing other women’s stories. I want to hone my skills as a writer and learn how to focus my passion into effective solutions. Just through the short experience I have had here I have learned so much about doing so. I have read the stories of so many women who have done this in their own communities so effectively. I am incredibly grateful to have had that opportunity. No matter what my outcome as a Voices of Our Future applicant, I am now part of a community that is going to help me reach all of these goals, and I vow to see them through.