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Unity is the Root of Courage and Courage is the Root of Success

“If you consider your wife’s choices, you will lose the peace and happiness of you family. Always keep control over them so that they never get the chance to speak up.” – Advice to a husband

“Always consider your husband’s feelings. The peace and happiness of a family depend on your behaviors and virtues. Therefore, never speak up against your husband. Remember, your sacrifices and obedience are the root of a happy family” –Advice to a wife

These are the common sayings in my village, Kaliaish, towards a husband and a wife. I grew up hearing these words frequently in my family, in my neighbors’ families and in my relatives’ families. Definitely men are happy about these words as they benefit from these types of ideas. When a woman tries to speak up against these ideas, she has to suffer for it.

As human beings men and women both have the right to enjoy equal freedom in any society. Unfortunately, in a patriarchy society, women are taught to be silent so that men can have the authoritative position in the society for years and years. Along with the patriarchy rules, women are taught to be more silent by showing them the religious restriction upon women’s voice, “Speak softly, never let your voice to be heard by male persons and strangers. Thus most of the women in my community think that women should not speak up even if they are oppressed by their husbands. They never share their oppression with each other in an effective way. As a result, the tradition of patriarchy continues by violating women’s right everyday in my community. The ideology of patriarchy and religious restriction upon women are the great barriers in my community. Women are afraid of sharing their stories as they are afraid of destructing family peace and prestige. But protecting family’s peace and prestige is not only women’s responsibility. Also, it’s unjust for women to sacrifice themselves by thinking about the family. They should understand that men have to take responsibility along with them to create a peaceful family.

For this purpose women in my community should grow a unit voice to speak up against oppression. When a woman will share her story, others’ will be inspired by her. Most importantly, when they will share their stories with each other, they can clearly see that how important it is to change the patriarchy ideology. I started sharing my stories in world pulse. I believe it will inspire other women in my community to share their stories. By being supportive to each other and sharing through pulsewire and other online communities, I believe women in my community can stand up against patriarchy rules that violate their rights. Sharing is important because it gives the feeling to someone that tells, “I am not alone!”


Jency's picture


It is so good to see that you are so vocal and eloquent such a young age. I like what you say about sharing. Exactly my sentiments.


How difficult it must be for women to grow up with such albatrosses around their necks in the form of cultural
restrictions and repression! Your Week 3 submission gave me a true sense of the patriarchal dysfunction of your
culture. How unfair! How limiting! How uneducated is the view that women must pander to the choices of men and not be heard. Yes, it must be difficult to rise above the fears of reparisals in the forms of shame and blame to herself and her family, but I am heartened by your understanding of the barriers to women's empowerment and to your desire to work collaboratively to implement changes. Power to you, Jyoti.

CourtneyWilson's picture


I just want to add on to Jency's point. Good work for recognising the importance of sharing and for not being afraid to speak up. Web 2.0 definitely can contribute to encouraging people who are oppressed to speak and realise patriarchial societies are not all that there is, there opinion is valued.

Good luck,
VoF volunteer

SharonK's picture


Dear Jyoti,

Thank you for your submission, it's a pleasure to read such a heart-felt article. I really like how you started off with the two sayings that illustrate how patriarchal values are communicated. There was something I felt was missing from your article, though. Part of the assignment was to talk about your present solutions to overcoming these barriers. Aside from online communities, how else do women in your community find unity and courage? In what other ways are you overcoming this patriarchal oppression?

I look forward to reading more of your articles!


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