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You inspire me.

In spite of all the dreams I have, I sometimes lose focus.

A question I've asked myself several times during the last month is “where do I begin?”

It's not that I'm absolutely oblivious or that I haven't scanned the system in the past. It's simply that there's an added pressure to what already seems like a tedious process: after three years abroad I've returned to a rural, low-paced, isolated city in my country that is brand new to me. Chiloé.

I hardly know the city. I hardly know the people. I'm only now becoming aware of what major national institutions have offices here and which ones don't. I haven't scanned the specific way of reaching out and working with people that is used here. I barely know where I'm standing on the map. Seriously.

So, I feel lost. And although my dream of empowering women is stronger than ever, I honestly don't know where to start. Yes, I'm applying for a job, in the hopes it will be in the National Service for Women, and will pay well. Yes, I'm trying to figure out the city, and understand if an initiative in women's empowerment would capture interest and bring quorum to a workshop. I'm looking at national grants, that I may apply to so my ideas can take flight. But, I feel like I'm missing an even easier way to make my voice heard and for interaction with other women in my community begin.

What is it?

It is at times like this that I am absolutely aware of the benefits of an online community. In a town like this, where numbness appears more obvious than leadership, it's not as simple as observing local leaders and becoming inspired, or joining the local LGBT group, which doesn't exist. It's about becoming the local leader and inspiring others to do the same. So, where does an absolutely brand-new grassroots leader in my conditions get her inspiration from? From an online community dedicated to sharing inspiring stories, ideas, answers, methodology, and things I'm still not able to grasp in my beginner's mind.

With World Pulse I can not only ask my fellow sisters the question I state above, but I can search for similar doubts, answers and help that has been lent before, and find mentor's, teachers, and partners in my endeavors.

I just arrived to Chiloé 9 days ago and do not even have my own home at this time. My entire life appears to be on hold. But my vision goes beyond this temporary uncertainty. I am an agent of change. I have a responsibility, not only with my immediate neighbors but with the world, to be all I am at every moment, in every encounter. World Pulse reminds me this so swiftly, so strongly. Isn't it amazing that it can do the same for whomever allows it to do so?

Comments

usha kc's picture

dear, thank you for sharing

dear, thank you for sharing your experience here. Never lose your hope. Believe on your own talent. You are courageous person.
best wishes form my side.

rukamanqui's picture

Thank you, Usha!

Thanks for the support. I'll try to continue to become inspired by all of you, and I'll keep you posted on what happens!

Much love for you!

Natalie

Monica Clarke's picture

Dear Rukamanqui

Dear Rukamanqui

Your journal says Explore. Discover. Cultivate. Don't forget that darling. See what Teresa Temweka our sister in VOC says: (http://www.worldpulse.com/node/44863) 'Sometimes one has to appeal to the larger community to bring about change in the smaller community.' Your larger community will lead you to the changes you so desire in your own life, which is your smaller commuity. From them you will get direction and insight. And the things which you are going to be doing will be big things. Limbo is when the growth happens, dear Rukamanqui. Just keep talking and listening to all around you and your ideas will come and grow.

All my strength to you in your unknown situation which will not remain unknown for long.

With lots of loving from Monica in France

Monica Clarke, Writer & Storyteller, bringing human rights alive.
I wish you 'Nangamso', that is: May you continue to do the good work which you do so well.
(A blessing from my ancestors, the Khoikhoi, the first people of South Africa).

rukamanqui's picture

Thanks for the support!

Monica, I thank you for the support and the link! I read through this other post and it is very inspiring. I too believe this uncertainty wont last long, but I must keep my vision strong!!

Much love and support for you!!

Natalie

Stella Paul's picture

Your heart won't be lost

The beginning of many stories maybe a little shaky, but it always picks up strength with time. You are starting a new chapter and the initial hiccups will soon give way to joy. For someone who has moved from town to town several times, I know the pain of moving and the loneliness(you are on your own, nobody knows you, you know nobody and must ask your way out for every small thing). But believe me, it will be ok. I am wishing you all the best and sending a lot of love your way. And yes, you can always confide in us, share and seek support whenever there is a moment of need.

Stella Paul
Twitter: @stellasglobe

rukamanqui's picture

Thanks Stella!

It is so comforting to hear many have been through this (even though I know it, hearing/reading it is so important). Thanks for your support. Without a doubt I will be asking you and the community for support. Much love!!

Natalie

Beverly Rose's picture

First of all, welcome to

First of all, welcome to World Pulse! I enjoyed reading your essay; thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I can relate to at least part of your story - 20+ years ago, I was compelled to move to Hawaii, knew no one, had no job, did not know what was ahead for me. Fast forward - I am a domestic violence/sexual assault advocate and fighter for social justice.

Your have the passion and vision, and obviously the courage. Trust, and it will present itself to you. And with the World Pulse community behind you, how can you not succeed?

in peace,
Beverly

rukamanqui's picture

Thank you so much, Beverly!

I'll follow your advice. I will continue to walk toward my dream. I sincerely believe we are the only ones that can really kill our own dreams. Thank you so much for your support! And I absolutely believe that with the World Pulse community I will continue this journey, stronger than ever!!

Hugs!

Natalie

Jessica Carmen's picture

Strength

You are strong. Moving to a new place and starting a new life takes tremendous strength and courage. Taking one small step at a time will lead you where you want to be. Your motivation and determination shines through your words. Hang in there....these barriers you have today will fade as each day passes.

rukamanqui's picture

Thank you so much!

It may take courage, but to start taking action will be more challenging and courageous... I'll try to remain strong in my vision and continue to get strength from my sisters on this platform. Thanks so much!

Much love and encouragement for you,

Natalie

AmyC's picture

One big step

Natalie,

Your article opened and flowed very well. I was really pulled into your fears and strength.

I think you've found a deep motivation within yourself and you realize that, whenever you need it, you can find others to help motivate you along your journey.

Good luck!

Amy

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