School of Sympathy
by Infinitas | September 19, 2011 at 5:01 PM
«If you became a victim of the home violence or sexual assault, please, call our hotline and you’ll receive a free psychological help. Anytime. Any day».
I often see such advertisements in local public transport. They make my wonder: why do we only struggle the consequences instead of trying to avoid the preconditions? Of course it’s easier to create an anonymous phone service then to change the legislation and secure women from the legal point of view. But this way of solving the problem becomes a reason for Ukrainian women rather to complain then to fight for their rights.
Frankly speaking, I can consider myself as a lucky enough girl. I grew up in a lovely family and never experienced physical violence; neither did most of my friends. But as soon as you leave Kyiv and head to any of the villages, the pattern changes. You can meet divorced girls aged 19 and 22-year-old mothers of two or three children. Some of them don’t mind their health, education and even appearance, because they have no money and time for that. Finally they become overweighed, unattractive, irritable and divorced again. Girls weep, start drinking alcohol and finally stop controlling their lives.
Having realized, that’s it’s up to me to create my own lifeline, I browse for international projects for getting proper education in media and social politics. Finally I’ve found this community and enjoy being a part of it. I appreciate each comment and reply, which I get here – they help me understand that my stories are touching and deserve being published. I’m impressed and admire these brave women, who teach me how to behave and cope with the difficulties. Here I learn how to be tolerant in political, gender and intercultural issues, how to be free of stereotypes and think without prejudices. By the way, it really helps in my job.
Frankly speaking, it’s difficult for me to find friends among women in real life – sometimes I’m just too shy and don’t know how to start a conversation. VOF is a School of Sympathy for me – sometimes I wipe my eyes while reading some blogs. Such kind of female community helps each of us to understand: we are wonderful and gifted! We deserve love, despite of their age, country and laws. And with such a support we can make our dreams real. I want to thank this society, because only here I’m not afraid to be misunderstood. It’s not a reality show with tearful revelations, but true life, where each word is real.
Spending time with unloved man, watching soap operas and drinking brandy on my own in a small kitchen? That’s not for me. And since I'm here, my future will definitely be different.
Comments
We're happy you're here too
Hi Infinitas,
I understand your feelings from what you wrote, even though I've never been to the Ukraine.
You're right - this is a community of friends. I'm glad you're here!
Cindy Coles
To be a woman
Hi, Infinitas,
I perfectly understand what you are talking about. Every day I see the same picture and think about the same: why women here often not give attention to the way they look, to their health, especially after they have children. Looks like after baby life stops: no time for this, no money for that. I have almost 5 year daughter but still believe that woman must be first of all woman and the best example for her children.
Interesting
Hi Infinitas,
Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts. I can understand your frustration and desire to improve your life and make things better! I encourage you to continue to practice your writing and being active on blogging and getting the story out!
Michael
Dear Infinitas, As a woman,
Dear Infinitas,
As a woman, and particularly as a woman who provides domestic violence and sexual assault victim services, I so enjoyed reading your essay. Whether in the Ukraine, or the United States, we need both the hotline and the ability to change legislation. Even more important, we need to change the thinking and attitudes that allow violence of any kind against women to continue.
I just spent two days at a sexual violence prevention workshop. I am encouraged at the work that men are doing to help us in our work to stop violence against women. It might not be the majority of men, but they are out there!
Yes, your stories deserve - and need to be - read and published. I encourage you to continue your participation in the World Pulse community. We empower each other by writing our stories and realizing we are not alone. Together we can make it happen!
be safe and well and keep writing!
aloha,
Beverly
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this story with us! Unfortunately domestic violence and sexual assault has become more and more common especially in this part of the world. I couldn't agree more with you that one should look at consequences instead of trying to tackle the effects. But how do we avoid the preconditions?
I'd love to find out more about your opinion on the matter.
Keep up the good work!
Diana
I am so glad you have found
I am so glad you have found this community to help you express your thoughts and opinions and voice. Domexti violence is a shame and tragedy for both the women and the men. We think that only women are the victims. But it is the men, as well, who never know the joy and tranquility of being truly loved and at peace for being the man that they are. Can you imagine what it must feel like to be so thoroughly feared?!
Keep writing. Keep working toward a more promising future for men and women both.