Shaking off fear
I was a chubby little girl, with a curly hair and dark skin, rebellious and wanted to do things my way. Many people in my society perceived me with sarcastic attitude because I was different from their typical perception of obedient and pretty girls. All I wanted is to be me. My greatest pleasure was reading and arts, I can say that I read my way to whom I am now.
I did not want to pretend so I would be eligible for marriage. I couldn't stand why I had to be a subservient for everyone just because I am a woman. I spent years fighting for a glimpse of freedom, I was beaten, humiliated, locked home and deprived from going to school without an escort. A lifetime of oppressions started to get into me, my personality stared to accumulate fear and hesitation, and bit by bit, I lost my ability to say no.
At 17, I freaked out when my family found that I was talking with a man, so I married him despite that I did not wanted to, I could not say no to his threats. Nothing changed in my life, beating, locked at home, and lots of lies. I hit the rock bottom, I was afraid all the time, I missed the no in me. Reading was my only escape from my reality, I borrowed books from the only friend I was allowed to have, and I decided to succeed in university. I remember the choice I made to spend an amount of money I received from a relative on computer lessons. It was my first decent sum of money for many years and I spent it to learn. My choice back then made me use world pulse today.
After two years my personal call became irresistible. I wanted to find myself. One day I packed my things and left. I conquered my fears.
After I returned to my family I had to change their thoughts about women, I learned to be patient. I found a job, and realized that economic independence empowered me. I studied hard and became the first woman with a bachelor degree in my family, and the first to go for higher studies. I continued reading. Became wiser and courageous. Finally, I made peace with the world and myself. Now I can do what I am convinced of.
I am still following my call, and through my journey I learned that mercy and compassion is what makes someone beautiful, sometimes I feel lucky because I do believe that the ability to change is a gift.
I married a lovely man I chose, I am working in a great place, I am trying my best to be a better human being and friend. I emancipated myself.