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A Reason To Believe

Like many women in the world I know since my childhood what abuse and violence is about. I was sexually abused when I was 8. When I was an adult, I was raped for someone I loved and I thought I was loved for. I experienced many times the pain of physical, psychological and social punishment. I learned the oppression of silence as part of my heritage as women. I knew also, among the women of my family I wasn’t the only one suffering the same.

But I chose freedom, not silence. And I don’t feel rage against anyone. I believe there is a reason behind everything. I cannot chose what happened to me, but I can chose refusing to be a victim. My attitude and what I can do with my experience in behalf of myself and for the wellbeing of others, is a creative ground. I do believe suffering in our lives, is a place for transformation.

Where there is a need, there is a right. I’ve always been good talking and making others talk with me. In my vision, the first step for liberation is speaking and connecting. Communication became a big skill to go from pain to hope and from hope to improve my opportunities and empowerment. Raising my voice was the beginning of this beautiful pursuit of freedom. Becoming a social communicator, an activist, a social educator, a traveller, a speaker, a feminist for equality, were the natural and positive impacts in my life of my own transformation process.

When you raise your voice for your rights, you do it also for all those who suffer the same; behind every rights, is a hidden responsibility and also an opportunity for change pulsing. This give you the chance to put out and share your concerns with other and find others like you, searching for support and willing to connect.

I found World Pulse surfing in internet. I don’t like to talk about coincidences. There is an order and reason in everything. This community is my reason to believe that through communication we can connect women to move towards a society with less pain and more opportunities, less abuse and more justice, less discrimination and more rights.

A chance for change, a space for sharing, a reason to believe. Ability to communicate isn’t enough. We need willingness and yearning to change. In this community I find inspiration to keep on moving to encourage women for communicating their problems and release their pain, connecting with others and making of communication in all its ways, a transformation tool for themselves and other. We aren’t condemned to silence, to be victims, to loneliness: we’re meant to come together and weave a net for support each other in our rights.

Life is a journey, always going "from" towards "to". No matter how painful is the beginning, we are here to meet, to talk, to share and build. We must believe that beyond the pain, we are moving towards happiness and peace.

Comments

usha kc's picture

Hey Nasrinamina,, your

Hey Nasrinamina,, your story broke my heart dear. You are brave ,, you are inspiration to many ..
whatever is the begining......... we are moving towards happiness and peace!!!!! that's great deat.

stay always bless, A big hug dear.

nasreenamina's picture

Hey Usha

Thank you for you comment. There are many stories like mine in the world and many women have a lot to tell about. The thing is, after feeling sorry , what can we do to avoid it? what can we do to save our soul from fall into darkness after all that pain? To find the answer to this questions I think is important to find others to share. We are not made to live alone. Xoxo

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

G.E. Cooper's picture

well written!

This is a very healing forum indeed! Woman can provide eachother with a compassion, understanding, and a way of gentle nuturing that we all need. Great support and encouragement is offered here to be ourselves and rise above adverse situations so that we may heal and grow together in wisdom! Thanks for sharing your painful story so that others may feel less alone and more empowered to share their own stories! Well done!
Gretchen

nasreenamina's picture

As a mommy

I am also a mother, single, of a daugther of 19. Motherhood has been a powerful engine in searching my empowerment. From bad experiences we can take lessons and we can teach to others the essential knowledge about that. As a mother I understand how important is take charge of yourself and dont stay in suffering and blaming. We are in charge to prepare human beings to choice a path in life and our decision and the reasons we have to take them are a testimony that talks about how we understand life.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Tori's picture

Choices

I commend you for recognizing that you had a choice, and you chose not to be a victim. I, too, have a similar story, and I allowed those who abused me to take away so much of my life. Then I recognized what I was allowing myself to be their victim and I decided "No more!" My life has been rich and full from that day on. You are so wise to see each day as a journey "from" and movement "towards" a better future.

As women we have the depth and the capacity to help each other heal, and grow.

Bless you!

nasreenamina's picture

Dear Tory

thank you for your comment. Is beautiful to find someone with similar experience so we can exchange impressions. You know, I 've never been part of an association of "victims of violence and abuse" cause I think that keep in the life of people the seal of abusing. Once a victim, and after that always a victim? No.

Support and spaces for dialogue are important but I think we dont have to focus in the fact of abuse of violence. That's the situation, the painful situation, allow us to meet and recognize that is important for healing, but is not the base from which we have to build a common work in order to avoid abuse and violence and educate for prevention.

I think is important to focus the healing of a pain from the sight of the solution not the pain itself. As Mother Teresa used to say :" Don't invite me to a meeting against war, I just attend meeting Pro-Peace".

Transformation is a possibility we all have, just we must to believe deeply that suffering is a fact, but empowerment is a duty and happiness is a right!. Everyone has a reason to cry, but we also can smile, is on up us to chose when we want to stop crying and start to smile. And if we decide to make smile others, we will find healing comes faster and deeper. No matter how many time you take to say "NO MORE". From the moment you say it and you decide to change, a wide and full of opportunities life journey open up for you.

I send you my blessing and a big hug.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

RuthHartmann's picture

Communication

Hi Nasreenamina,

Thank you for sharing your story so openly. I too have found that communication is one of the best skills we can acquire and continually improve. And that as we do that our lives and the lives of those around us improve as well. Your choice to refuse to be a victim inspires me.

Ruth

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you for reading

You are right, communication is the skill allow us to live in society. Communities are made of nets,nets we weave through communication. Not all people is rich, but all people can communicate, so is a easy, cheaper and available, we can do it in every moment we want! is a skill we own as a right and has a huge potential.

In my experience, was important to decide open my mouth and why? cause someone show me how important is tell and share, and give me a space to do it. And with this act, I open a humble space to others to say "me too", "I have something like that in my life" "I've never talked about it".. .and that's how a net for healing and development starts.

I speak openly cause is the only way we really should speak. Openly, free, honestly; there is no shame on me about what happened, there's no shame on you when your rights are unrespected.

Warms Regards

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Aliya Bashir's picture

Dear Nasreen

Your piece is simply outstanding..........I feel inspired that how beautifully u choose to go on with such a powerful optimistic mind. Unlike others, who just succumb with one below of trials and tribulations, you listen to your heart yearnings and believed on the dynamic voice inside you..............
Thanks for sharing this inspirational write-up.Bravo!

AB

nasreenamina's picture

The Voice of Life

Life is a street that run in just one sense... going on. A life has given to me and I do believe I must to do something beautiful of it. That's the voice of life, the voice of the sense we have been made for: to move always forward, to go on no matter what, learning and teaching, being a teacher for others and making a teacher of everyone we find in our way, bad or good, right or wrong, wanted or unwanted, there's always something else forward to discover, to joy, to learn. Even if you decide to quit and surrender to pain, your heart will keep beating, pushing life for you.So, let's flow with the natural movement of life cause there's no reason to stop the natural journey of living.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Aliya Bashir's picture

how true

Dear Nasreen i truly agree

AB

Monica Clarke's picture

Dear Nasrinamina, you brave

Dear Nasrinamina, you brave girl and wise woman. I salute you.

Your words are very deep and your actions show that depth. As you say, it is not enough for us to be able to communicate. We need to put our energy into creating change.

Those also who are right now making big changes are those who are upright still, in the depth of their suffering, not saying much but merely doing, refusing to lie down and give up. Millions of men and women and children (like you when you were a little girl) are doing this quietly every day through severe suffering, not talking, just doing in silence. And those around them who receive the goodness of that doing -their children, grandchildren, neighbours, family, community - will go out and multiply that goodness in our world. 'By their fruits ye shall know them.'

Your fruits, Nasrinamina, shall multiply as you go forth with your words and your actions.

Love and hugs from Monica in France

Monica Clarke, Writer & Storyteller, bringing human rights alive.
I wish you 'Nangamso', that is: May you continue to do the good work which you do so well.
(A blessing from my ancestors, the Khoikhoi, the first people of South Africa).

nasreenamina's picture

Nangamso Monica

thank you for share this with me. I think we have many ways to let others know about us. Communication is not words, is also actions, feeling, images, simbols. Every life has a message to tell us and a lesson to teach us. This idea is very important for me cause it means there's no life wasted, noone is here for nothing; happiness and satisfaction are not the abscence of pain, but the faith about the meaning of that pain. Is not the why, but the what for? and we the ones we are blessed for finding the way to move forward must to use the answer of "what for?" in behalf of others and help them to find their own voice to raise, and find their own what for? using the meaning to multiply, as you say, that goodness in our world.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

MaDube's picture

I am inspired by your

I am inspired by your 'survivor' attitude. Indeed it is in choosing to refuse to be a victim that you assert your self worth because then you take back the power from those who hurt you and show them that despite what they did to you you still emerged a beautiful person.

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you for reading

The inspiration you found in my story, comes back to me to give me more inspiration and energy. That's the power of connecting.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Stella Paul's picture

The girl cudn't , but the mother can

Dear friend

Abuse was hurled at you when you were too young. The little girl in your couldn't fight. But, today as a mother you are not just repelling evil, you are also lending the courage to your daughter. In short, you are showing courage to a young woman which you didn't get. And that's what I call change!

Stella Paul
Twitter: @stellasglobe

nasreenamina's picture

Hello Stella

Yes,exactly. The girl couldn't but the woman can. I would like the women I know suffered the same when little girls, could understand this so simple but important idea about change. Warms Regards

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

usha kc's picture

Hello Nasrina,, you tagged it

Hello Nasrina,, you tagged it not correctly dear, please chek it and correct it.

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you Usha

And now? it's ok?

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

usha kc's picture

Yup,, now it's ok :-)

Rita Raj's picture

living with courage

Thank you for your story!

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you for reading

Rita thank you for reading I am happy if you like it and found something you can learn from. Xoxo

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Greengirl's picture

Courageous Woman

I am glad I came across your story. I wondered to my self.......How in the World would I have heard such an inspiring story from the Victor herself. Your choice of what you're are doing with your experience is courageous! Don't stop speaking on behalf of all the women you are progressively working for. You represent positive social change.

Very Warm Wishes,

Olanike

nasreenamina's picture

Lucky me

Olanike thank you for your kind words. Words are powerful, allow us to represent and explain ourselves, others and the reality surrounding.So, I think using words and communication skills to help oneself and then others, it's a good first step to change social.All people have something to say and share, everyone can teach others. Life is not about following up on your invoice. Life is about following your inner voice. Thank you

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Greengirl's picture

Thank you too!

You have your way with words. Keep speaking Amina.

Olanike.

loyce's picture

Thank you for being hold and

Thank you for being hold and for choosing freedom, not silence.

Follow me on twitter:@livelyloyce
My blog:www.loycek.wordpress.com

nasreenamina's picture

Dear Loyce

Thank you for putting your attention in my story. Appropriation of the word, the right to speak, the will to define oneself as a person, is put ourselves free from the power others have over us unfairly exercised. Warms Regards

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Maggs's picture

Indeed there is a reason for

Indeed there is a reason for everything. The most prominent thread that runs through your story and that of many others here, is that of being a survivor, of standing and fighting and of refusing to be knocked down. Welcome to the enclave!

maggs

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you maggs

I really think life is not a chaos. There is an order, there is a reason, even when we are passing through a bad moments we can not see the why nor the what for. It was important for me to have awareness of the value of forgiveness. Be aware that my future happiness depended in one hand, my ability to forgive and in the other, of my ability to make grow my strengths. No matter how dark the night falls on your light will always remain as bright as you decide.Someone said: "The purest gold comes through the hottest fire. The deeper the suffering, the clearer the wisdom on the other side". That's a true for me

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

fem4femmes's picture

Your courageous light!!

Vanessa-

Thank you for sharing your story and your light with us here on WorldPulse! It is true that it is our past that has brought us here to the present, together!

Linking my arm with yours, let's dance toward the future we want together!

Much love and light today!

marissa

"I am the flicker, flame, butterfly ablaze who wants to fly in search of mythical rainbows beyond the rain." ~ Ana Castillo

nasreenamina's picture

Much love and light for you dear

You're right. The past, with good and bad, let us come here to this moment, to find a mission, a vision. We must not denying the past, we must face it and in a spiritual sense, we must embrace it. Xoxo

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Gertrude Bvindi's picture

Strength

I like how you have put away all the negative that came with your ordeal,and i am learning to be positive. Women like you give people like me just that strength, to go on to find opportunities in ruin, to get others to learn what it means to be responsible. Thank you for sharing your story. I am awed by the fact that you got over this decided to move on an dhelp other. God bless, and keep up the Good work.

Gertrude Bvindi

nasreenamina's picture

People like me, women as you

All people sometimes feel weak. Being courage and strong is a learning process and a decision. Since I was abused, it passed many time until I took conscience that was something bad I had to work on cause was damaging my personal life in some many ways. I couldn't expect an excuse from my agressor,so I had to be strong to go on no matter what and do it in my own behalf.

Once abused- if you dont stand up for yourself to search a way to go over that- always abused. Be a victim is a way we learn to be, especially in latinamerica where patriarchy is everwhere and the media always shows women as victim or in need of a man to solve their problems, where caracthers in soap operas are always suffering in dealing with humilliation and violence "in the name of love".

However, is an option, there is a moment to decide get rid of it and empower you. But is true, is a learning path where you must to face a lot of things about yourself that may be painful, so take it easy. In my particular case, even when my professional and activist life was going very well and was rewarding I had problems involving in romantic relations. That may sound pretty silly but sexual abused scarf the way you link with men. Sometimes I didnt understand why I felt unsafe with someone with no reason; and sometimes also I fell into abusive relations in physical and emotional ways. But, there are some things powerful in each one of us, in a women like you, in people as me, called Hope an Faith. They are there inside everyone, wainting for the moment you decide to use it to empower yourself forward a renewed you.

Warms Regards.

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

Gertrude Bvindi's picture

I am moved by your words, and

I am moved by your words, and i see more of myself, just without the courage. I now have hope. you went through a worse situation and you have been doing well. Well done and keep on keeping on.

Gertrude Bvindi

Dear BEAUTIFUL Sister, A Beacon of LIFE & LIGHT!

I am humbled and inspired by your words of encouragement and empowerment in the face of abuse, not allowing the abuse to take away your BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT and HUMANITY. You have a very special gift and spirit to HEAL people and move them forward in LIFE with a deep sense of reverence for their lives to be lived.

I love your words, "Freedom Not Silence" as it empowers us all to break the chain of abuse and violence. The choir of women and your sisters join you as a Compassionate VOICE for LIFE! You have power and compassion in your voice which is needed for many who are not able to find their voice, you give them STRENGTH, HOPE and LIFE. THANK YOU!

Desmond Tutu so wisely stated during the tribunal hearings, "Their Humanity is Our Humanity" therefore, we must find a way to Live Together. Wow!!

THANK YOU for leading the way and I look forward to reading more of your words of inspiration and breaking the silence!

With Gratitude,

Linda M. Ando

nasreenamina's picture

Thank you very much

Dear Linda

Your words really touched my heart. I feel a deep emotion for that you call a gift. You know, during my life and especially since I focus part of my time to listen and share with women in grass roots levels, I was said many time "You make I get a new sight on my problems", "you bring me back my self trust", "Oh yes!, that's exactly the way I feel". Now you put the right word: HEAL and now, you encourage me to think if is not so crazy to start a new career at my age, with a grown daugther. Maybe I will explore the possibilites I have to come back to university and sharp my skills with a sistematic frame. You see? That's the power of connect, we can discover each other in all the ways possible. Blessings

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion

Follow me @DivinaFeminista

skildevfoundation's picture

Bold steps

You swift off my feet with your life experience, I like your boldness and ability to move on in life. I also appreciate your motivation to make a change in our world. Go on babe

Mrs May Okonkwor (Teach a Woman How to Fish)
Founder/CEO
Skill Development Foundation For Women and Youths (SKILDEV)

CourtneyWilson's picture

Thank you

Thank you for your words. It is always inspiring to hear someone speak out and encourage others. Hopefully your words will encourage others to speak out and share, and not be silenced. This is vital for change.

Good work,
Courtney

ccontreras's picture

I admire your courage!

Your story really touched my heart, but especially your courage to stand up despite the misfortune you had of being abused at such a young age. I really admire your courage to stand up and not only tell your story, but also become a role model to other women who may be or feel oppressed to stand up and talk about their past, especially when abused has been involved. I really hope to hear more about your story! Best of luck! :-)

"I embrace emerging experience. I am a butterfly. Not a butterfly collector." - Stafford

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