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dear friends,

thank you so much for your surpport.Dave its true...when you need help its your family who dont give it to you or the people that you think should be understanding you better..speaking from experience...i moved to my sisters house on sunday just in the hope that we can hung around her place before we settle down..believe it or not she actully kicked us out yesterday evening and we had to seek shelter at her neighbours house who is more that willing to accomodate us for as long as we parents continully calling me and telling me how regretful i will sisters in lows parsitent calls...and my mother in low urging me to go back...

i have decided its my life....i will take in the positives and do away with the negative.....i am unstopable and i know by around this time next year i will be talking about a different story..i have taken the first and the most painfull and bold step...nothing will stop me...i am a woman and a strong woman.this are the words im oftenly repeating to my self....i know i will do it.

at the moment i cant take a lone from the bank since i had used all my savings and my account has not been active for the last six months.normally it has to stay active for six months...i know in the next five months,,,i will be in a better position to ask for a loan...

but all the same...someone told me yesterday at the office...that is just a small issue to me before long they know that i will have done away with it...if i have hundled the HIV issues that is just like a drop in the ocean...and im hungging by those words...

we have nothing on clothes,no furniture,nothing!but guess what im willing to start all over again...from scratch...thats me.

"dont let your mountain limit the greatness of your GOD"


Dave Alexander's picture


Hello Tabby,

This has been my experience. I do not know how I got to where I am, where I am going, or how I will get there either. Living in Faith is sometimes like this. One of things that I have noticed the most is that when one steps out of the "expected" behavior of a family, a community, a country, whatever... there can be harshness brought upon us by those who still believe in the old ways.

I have never been good at the old ways, this is why my ancestral family does not care much for me. I break the rules. I do not let people abuse me emotionally or physically, I follow a Spiritual path that makes no sense to them, I take chances (like quitting my job to take care of my daughter when her biological mother left us), and I do not spend much time looking back except to learn from history. History is a good teacher and a trap too; you can go back to learn, but sometimes get caught living there.

I do not know your destiny, I do not know what joys and suffering lie before you, but I do know this... All decisions made with heart, made with what we understand God would want us to do if we were He, will never haunt us as "mistakes" because we know why we made them. We know that we were at our best thinking, at our most loving, and in His guidance. We know that no matter the outcome, we did our best.

The trick is to remember our Guide, our God. And you, my dear, seem to have an extraordinary memory.

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Hi Tabby,

I think that this is a good decision... surrounding yourself in positive people and positive influences can only help to shape your life into a more positive experience. And you're right - you have taken the biggest step. You left your negative situation at home with your husband and taken yourself and your children to a more positive environment. Maybe now you are feeling at the bottom of a deep pit, but the only way out is up and with your strength and determination, I believe that you can and you are moving up. Keep the faith Tabby - you are a strong woman with a beautiful heart and a admirable soul.


LindsayHowells's picture

Your heart speaks loud and clear!

Hi Tabby,

My name is Lindsay. I have just been reading your blogs for the first time as I have been going through a transition in my life too and have not been able to be on PulseWire regularly. Your courage and heart are an inspiration to me. Through your struggles you are true to yourself, your family and your faith. I am so proud to see you standing up for the happiness and safety of you and your family. I have recently left a relationship as well and though I don't have children to worry about I can relate to the worries and fears about starting over. My mother says "gather the troops", surround yourself with friends! I thank you for reaching out to us on PulseWire! We are your friends and we can be your troops!

I hold you and your family in my heart and wrap you in love. I know that you will find a way through this transition. I see you and your children in a happy and safe home that you fill everyday with the amazing and positive energy you express here on PulseWire.

Love to you!

Corine Milano's picture

Tabby, how wonderful to see

Tabby, how wonderful to see your photo on the site. You are beautiful! I have also been following your journal closely on PulseWire—you are a powerful woman and I am so thankful to be able to read your words on my screen from here in Oregon.

You are right—you are a strong woman, and your courage is inspiring! The decision you have made is a huge one, and I admire your determination!

I am here if you need someone to talk to.

All my love,

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