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If You Don't Love Yourself, Who Else Is Going To Love You?

LGBTIQ in International Woman Day 2011 (Jakarta)

It is simple: you don't trust yourself. START TRUSTING YOURSELF -- that is the fundamental lesson, the first lesson. START LOVING YOURSELF. If you don't love yourself, who else is going to love you? But remember, if you ONLY love yourself, your love will be very poor.

"If you are not for yourself, who will be?" And also, "If you are only for yourself, then what meaning your life can ever have?" A tremendously significant statement -- remember it! LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF, NOBODY ELSE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO LOVE YOU.

You cannot love a person who hates herself. AND, ON THIS UNFORTUNATE EARTH, ALMOST EVERYBODY HATES HERSELF, everybody condemns herself. How can you love a person who is condemnatory towards herself?

SHE WILL NOT BELIEVE YOU. She cannot love herself, how you dare? She cannot love herself, how you can love her? She will suspect some game, some trick, some trip. She will suspect that you must be after something else. She will suspect that you are trying to deceive her in the name of love. She will be very cautious, alert. AND HER SUSPICION WILL POISON YOUR BEING.

AND IF YOU LOVE A PERSON WHO HATES HERSELF, YOU ARE TRYING TO DESTROY HER CONCEPT ABOUT HERSELF. And nobody easily drops her concept about herself. That is her identity. She will fight with you, she will prove to you that she is right and you are wrong.

THAT'S WHAT IS HAPPENING IN EVERY LOVE RELATIONSHIP -- in every so-called "love relationship" . It is happening between every lover and beloved, every man and every woman. HOW CAN YOU DESTROY THE OTHER'S CONCEPT ABOUT HERSELF? That is her identity, that is her ego, that's how she knows herself. If you take it away, she will not know who she is. It is too risky. She cannot drop her concept so easily. SHE WILL PROVE TO YOU THAT SHE'S NOT WORTH LOVING, SHE'S ONLY WORTH HATING.

And the same is the case with you: YOU ALSO HATE YOURSELF, YOU CANNOT ALLOW ANYBODY ELSE TO LOVE YOU. Whenever somebody comes with loving energy around you, you shrink, you want to escape. You are afraid. You know perfectly well that you are unworthy of love. You know that only on the surface you look so good, so beautiful -- deep down you are ugly.

And if you allow this person to love you, sooner or later -- and it is going to be sooner than later -- SHE WILL COME TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE IN REALITY. How long you will be able to pretend with a person with whom you have to live and love?

YOU CAN PRETEND IN THE MARKETPLACE, -- you can pretend: smiles, all smiles. You can have a beautiful acting, roll-playing. BUT IF YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, then it is tiring to go on smiling and smiling and smiling. Then the smile tires -- because it is phony. It is just an exercise of the lips. And the lips become tired. How can you go on being sweet? YOUR BITTERNESS WILL SURFACE.

HENCE, BY THE TIME THE HONEYMOON IS OVER, EVERYTHING IS OVER. Both have known each other's reality. Both have known each other's phoniness. Both have known each other's falsity. One is afraid to become intimate. TO BE INTIMATE MEANS YOU WILL HAVE TO PUT ASIDE THE ROLL. And you know who you are -- worthless, just dirt.


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