Loving “MY” way
Tirana, 19 July 2011
I am a wondering personality, I can never stop asking how I can improve myself, the reality I live in, my family, my little’s brother life and so on. Most of the times I wonder if the wondering I engage myself in has to do with the fact that I am a woman existing in the Albanian society or just is part of my personality. The funny thing is that day after day I understand that being a woman has everything to do with this mission of accomplishment.
I was raised to think that I can accomplish everything. Somehow, in my journey I became a woman, that has to learn to cook because she has to take care of her family, has to learn to compromise, and all these “has to” hovering over my head. Out of a sudden a man by my side became a requirement and a plan for the future.
Can you plan love? How about if I am not to love a man? Regardless, I am almost perfectly heterosexual, but I never had a steady relationship with a man. And I am regarded strangely aggressive towards male company- as my mother points out.
Why can no one understand that all my greatness shatters if I fit in the gender roles? My accomplishments become colored and I am a woman who responds to a certain role in the society, who is loved because SHE is!
That is how I am a wonderer. I do not agree nor acknowledge gender roles, because they asphyxiate me and so many more people. People I worry about because they were not raised to feel free! People and societies evolve, as history goes by, different patterns of existing are created. The fact that I have a uterus and I like wearing high heels and petite dresses, or that I put make up every day so I am nice to look at, does not make me a wanted wife. The fact that I write, that I have the guts to make my point, that I work for a human rights organization, that I respect’s others opinions and ways of being is what makes me a worthy companion. Why kill the diversity and make the world in this absolute dichotomy that never fully existed. We are human beings above all, man or women, friend and co-worker later.