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Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.

Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
I ruminated of my father as exceptionally special. He loved, cared and provided for my family uniquely.
One night all that changed. My father came home unusually late. Though my family got worried, I least expected him being in a self-inflicted woe. That is how I knew him, well behaved and responsible.
My belief formed my paternal foundation of trust and loyalty. Little did I know that his arrival home, dirty and drunk, would shatter all that in excruciatingly. I could not understand, the little incident wrecked my nerves and aggrieved my prudence in the process. Whatever lay next was incomprehensible.

That was close to ten years ago but the outcome of those events left me wounded. Honestly, I was hurt, bruised and totally broken. He was my confidant and my pride. How could I take pride in a splurge alcoholic drinker, whose reason for drinking I might never comprehend?
My mother loved him, but he abused her that night. I could not confront him; you know… he was my father, besides he was harsh and coarse. I avoided him but I felt sorry for my mother. She played her role as the submissive woman by offering him something to eat. He knocked her down. My mother cried. I had never seen her cry. Nevertheless, that night, I saw her fate; it was right inside her eyes.

I could not take it. I left the scene; it was too messy for me. I would rather sleep and pray that it turned out all into a dream. If only the night could disappear and wake me to the realization of a horrible past nightmare. Unfortunately, none of my wishes materialized. The next morning, reality was as true as an arrow to its aim.
News and recollections of the past weary night broke my ego and esteem to minute pieces. My mother had slept outside, in the cold and all night. I got mad at everyone and everything. I realized my family was set for dysfunction.

With all the resolve I could manage, I made a choice to fight back for my mother’s sake, she was the one most affected by my father’s action. I sought counseling for her, myself, and then later on, asked my father to do the same. He accepted. Now we are all together again.


Beverly Rose's picture

Dear Spidercalf, I am sorry

Dear Spidercalf,

I am sorry your mother and you had to endure that horrible night. I work as a domestic violence/sex assault advocate, so your story is familar to me. Fortunately, your father agreed to seek help, something that not all men are willing to do. I trust that your family is safe now, thanks to you for getting help.

Thanks for sharing your story. Keep writing!

spidercalf's picture


thanks to you for taking your time to share with me, i very much appreciate, at least for now i work hand in hand with both of my parents to ensure that the same never happen again, you know "once beaten twice shy" we are safe now with the help of a counsillor.


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