When no one believes you ... living with mild traumatic brain injury
I woke on an average morning in Portland, Oregon, first responsibility take my son to Montessori. A winding road took us to a path unknown, one where our national authority, social security, even would dispute my truth. Not knowing it would over 8 years later that I'd be typing a submission about the standing up and inner love I've had to do when no one else could. Even those closest to me have at one time question and disbelieve my need to take care of me. With much practice at living with each other, my son and I now the great gift given to we. We live with little means yet see our lives as full and abundantly with great appreciation for him to have me.
I've also taken this opportunity to grow courage and strength in my own integrity. I've learned to practice presence instead of reacting to the stressors of the world around we. I've took the risk to ask humanity to help with things others would assume easy, I have my Mother go with me to grocery shopping when my systems have struggled to sync since 2003. My thresold is much lower than the rest of humanity and my ability to register can be impaired by almost any movement, emotional drama or sensory things like glare, heat, noise and even touch of things.
I risk being embarassed in asking for help with things I once did with ease. More so, I risk rejection from humanity if they don't believe. My ex-husband decided to leave, when he didn't believe what I was speaking. A new love in my life recently spoke those same words "I don't believe you" and I instantly got scared of his next move and feared being left by he. I go inside to embrace me, love me and listen to my heart saying "trust me, trust me, I'm here for you, trust me".
So with each day I wake asking "in how many ways may I provide?", trusting myself to be by my side and stand of my highest good no matter what I'm facing. Bless us all in finding our own inner buddy to not be afraid of our leaving ourselves more than anything.