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I stood for all!!!

When I was just 4 years old it started, and it lasted until I got my first mensuration,at the age of 12 years!

My paternal grandmother knew about it. But due to cultural and societal “values” she shut our mouths since she could not take any bad name on her favorite daughter’s husband. Yes, I was not the only one. With me 3 more girls were a victim to child sexual abuse and molestation under the same roof. I remember, my uncle who has a daughter of our age group ,used to come to our home every after noon, the time when everyone takes a nap. He would take us to the garage or the livingroom upstairs and would do the evil. All we did in the beginning, we remained silent with agony, guilt and trauma. We didn’t share it even among our selves. And then one day the silence finally broke. We told our mothers who confronted him. And then, the cold filthy war began. Our mothers faced worst social boycott and isolation. My grand mother spreaded the false news that her daughters in law are playing the family politics. They were abandoned for 17 years, no one met them like we would meet our relatives. We received nothing but hatred from our paternal relatives because they thought it’s a blame game.

I didn’t loose. After the confrontation our mothers went quite like the dead or wounded soldiers of the lost battle field. I didn’t. I told all the girls in the family how to avoid such mishaps. I educated them how to deal with such situations and how to stand up when you are being exploited. I stood up for every girl in the family, in the neighbourhood and in the school who could fall or fell victim to child sexual abuse and had to keep it a secret because of the fake values. I know I stood up once for my self but I have saved all my forth coming generations from falling a victim to child sexual abuse.

By the way, I am 30 years old now. Every one talks to our mothers now because I was 29 when the last time he was caught when his grand daughter reported it!

Comments

culture can be an enabling factor in promoting abuse and the violation of women. We need to stand up against negative cultural beliefs. there is no dignity and respect in trying to save the reputation of a rapist because he is a man. this is just a way to continuously degrade women and relegate them to the periphery of culture, religion, politics and existence. it is sad but one day it will be over. It is also sad that women even participate in this relegation but we all need to be educated

you are a hero i think you should read Maureen Mukoya's story (one woman against several men) it also highlights the cultural aspect i am explaining here

stay blessed

Fatima Waziri's picture

Thank you Mariam for being

Thank you Mariam for being very courageous to share this heart felt story with us. Your are a very bold young lady to have been able to call out your uncle damning all consequences, culture or no culture. When culture is negative it ceases to be called culture. You were able to stand up for your self and generations of other vulnerable children i your community and God bless you for that.

May you continue to grow strong!

Peace!
Fatima

Mariam Azeem's picture

Fatima, it was hard and

Fatima, it was hard and harsh...I still face the music ...but i know deep in my heart, i have saved many boys and girls from the life time trauma and agony.

Sometimes we end up compromising on being human by keeping the societal norms and values safe!

Thanks for the encouraging words.

Fatima Waziri's picture

Making change is always a

Making change is always a bumpy road Mariam but remain undaunted, that is what makes you different from the rest of the world.

Peace!
Fatima

LauraB's picture

strong voice

Mariam,

You are someone with a fierceness. I imagine that you are now in a position of leadership and will spend your lifetime standing up for those who need to be represented. I like how strong and straightforward you are. What a great quality. And so much pride!

Keep speaking truth sister!

Laura

Mariam Azeem's picture

Laura, thank u for the

Laura, thank u for the generous comments....
yes , i had to be vocal and brave to be heard....I am so so satisfied because i spoke up at the right time. I saved so many young girls...I still am saving them from falling into this misery by conduction human rights sessions on sexual abuse with parents and children....

I hope to remain in touch with you...

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