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Escape from cruel intention

I had never actually met Uncle Gody before he suddenly showed up that day. Ma had left us alone in the house; me and Talema, my friend from next door. I do not remember where she had gone, but she had said she would be back by noon the following day. Although she did not approve of it, Talema’s mother had been kind enough to allow her daughter to sleepover, just this once. We grudgingly shared our supper with Uncle Gody and later showed him where he could sleep so that we could continue playing with our dollies.

We laughed and giggled into the night, Talema and I. We did not even realise how late it was until there was a knock at the door and a voice shouted for us to keep it down. We were silent momentarily. Later, Talema loudly whispered funny ghost stories. I laughed so hard my eyes watered. Then there was the knock again and Uncle Gody called me to his room.

As soon as I walked in, he pulled me and squashed me into his big naked chest. Between heavy breaths he asked me why we were still making noise. His rough beard grazed my cheek, and as he moaned softly, his foul breath hit me squarely on the face. He painfully pinched my small breasts, which looked and felt like pebbles. Then his hand slithered between my legs. I felt his rough, calloused fingers in my underwear and my ten-year old mind went into turmoil.

Like a lightning bolt I jumped from his arms, screaming madly I dashed out the door. A startled Uncle Gody stood there clutching the belt of my nightgown.

Thinking it was an intruder, the neighbours came quickly with knobkerries and all sorts of weaponry. They kicked uncle Gody out and Talema’s mother came to sleep with us that night.

For 27 years I never discussed this with my mother. I cradled my 3-year-old daughter and watched the old lady cry and cry as I explained to her and my visibly shocked family elders that this man was the reason why I never let my daughters out of my sight in the presence of male relatives. Why my daughters never go kumusha*. Why I hate Uncle Gody and why he will never set foot near my children or my homestead as long as I live.

*kumusha - rural areas
*This is the experience of Stash's elder sister. Just had to share it...

Comments

Carlotta's picture

Thank God you managed to run

Thank God you managed to run away Stash, you have absolutely no idea how many people were not so lucky. i have discovered that there are so many women who have been abused but chose to keep quiet for one reason or the other. I wish you had told someone, though. Maybe Uncle went on to abuse somebody else because nobody really knew what he was made of, maybe he still is abusing people. I wish I had also told someone about a horrid Uncle who gropped me and died of AIDS three years later. What if he went on to rape and infect somebody because i kept quiet? We kept quiet, but let's teach our children to speak out, wouldn't you agree?

Stash's picture

Thank you Carlotta. I must

Thank you Carlotta. I must hasten to say that this is not my experince, but rather my sister's. I just didnt have anywhere to point this out, but its a story I felt I should tell. I am glad she ran too, but what was of concern to me when she revealed the details much later in her life - senior and respected members of our family said well, she wasnt raped was she? Her story highlights the fact that abuse comes in many forms; she was traumatised just as badly as any rape survivor and suffered psychologically. She does not trust anyone with her daughters and I think she would benefit from counselling, much as she wont hear of it. My mother was so crushed to here it... I think to some extent the world has started to talk to kids and encourage them to tell if they have been touched inappropriately, however we still have some really conservative societies that wont even discuss periods with girl children. Your experience was horrid, but would you say its a relief he ended only at groping you?

Carlotta's picture

He ended at groping me coz

He ended at groping me coz like your sister, i managed to escape. I was also much older, 19 at the time. He touched my boobs and attempted to kiss me and i slapped his ugly face. I dont even know where I got the guts to do that because he was well respected in the family and church. I'm sure he was capitalizing on the respect that i had for him.

frederica Maima David Gibson's picture

Oh my God!

Teaching us all that this world could be a better place if we all did what was right at all times,That was so dangerous and very abuses, God bless his soul wherever he made be! Aman to that,,,

Y'ello,
This my new email address freddiegibs@yahoo.com
note that freddygibs is no longer my email address as it was hacked,
Frederica,

sibusisiweyona's picture

thank God you escaped

that is a traumatising experience for a 10 year old and it is good that you even showed how strong you are and ran away. Many young girls do not have that opportunity and i hope that one day you can forgive that uncle because unforgiveness on your part also means he still has a certain amount of power over you, like when you are constantly afraid that something bad will happen to your daughter.havaiti babamunini ivavo havanyari asi the grace of God saved you and covered you. thank you for sharing your story

stay blessed

Sibusisiwe

keinoriya's picture

Escape from Cruel Intention

Thank God, you escaped this man's evil intention and thanks to your friend's mother and neighbors that helped you. Most importantly, bravo for standing up and breaking the silence, and protecting your self and your children. You are a great role model to women that are confronted by sexual preditators. May they also break their silence and speak against such evils. Best wishes.
Keinoriya

KeiNyaywa

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thank god u escaped. Thanks

Thank god u escaped. Thanks for sharing.

Nusrat

usha kc's picture

Thanx for sharing

Dear Stash, you r story reflects the situation that clears how we girl/women have been living our life with full of pains and fear! we are unsafe almost all the time with all.
Thanx a lot for sharing your story and courage which had that time.

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