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Standing Up

Growing up a young boy, I assumed the stereotypical role often shaped by family, environment, and society. In the same sense, my regard for the suffering of women around the world was blinded by my own ignorance of world affairs.

As I continue to mature, my exposure to world issues has led me to delve deeply inside myself to determine if as “A Man” I do all that I can to uplift women. The more I get involved, the more I realize that in order to really make a difference, I must start at home. I must start with me.

As a man, it is difficult for me to mention that I have been in an abusive relationship. Although I can empathetically relate to how it feels to be victimized by a perpetrator of violence, I don’t consider myself a victim. In order to stop the offenses committed against me and to no longer be a victim, I had to stand up. I am a survivor. Survivors stick around in order to serve as a testimonial for others who might be experiencing similar situations. The survivor provides hope for those who are currently being mistreated.

Today I stand up! Not only do I stand up for myself, but also for the women of the world. I have four daughters of my own, and I know that I must make a difference in their lives so that they will know how a woman should be treated. I will also educate and encourage them to stand up for women (and men) around the world as part of their human responsibility.

Most of the things I have learned from my experiences in human rights activism involved me to look within myself. By doing so, I stand up for myself and others, particularly for those who have been abused or treated unfairly. I take it upon myself to apologize for any man or woman who has abused or been abused. By looking inside ourselves we are able to gather and retain a deep personal integrity that can resonate to others to facilitate change. As an adult, and as a man, I like a good challenge. I challenge every “man” and woman to stand up!

It takes a village to raise a child, but it takes man and woman to help nurture the village. The world is a village!

Comments

zoneziwoh's picture

Beautiful my brother

Good piece. Beautifully articulated.
I am in total agreement with you. Change is what we make. If the self is not changed, the language is still not changed, then how can the people we want them to change changed. We are the light for change and must commit to the values for change.

There is this expert who had lived most of his live researching on very sensitive issues around the world. But on day, we had to reflect over the self, his self. I love his article on - a feminist self reflection. Please if you have time, google 'Ken Booth' and read his testimony on how he became a feminist. If i search my files, and i find the article, i will share it with you and everybody here in our space.

Many thanks. Your story is inspiring.

Stay Blessed

Zoneziwoh

Blog: http://zofem.blogspot.com/

facebook: Zoneziwoh

twitter: @ZoFem

Jan K Askin's picture

Share the burden

Dear D Bunton,

Your article can catalyze a paradigm shift among those of us who advocate for human rights for women. It is lonely and exhausting to think that women have only themselves to work for liberation.

Your entry is a call to action for all men to take up the call for human rights FOR ALL.

Thank you,

Jan

Jan Askin

dbunton's picture

Thank you Zoneziwoh, I will

Thank you Zoneziwoh,

I will surely take the time to read about Kenn Booth. Such stories are inspiring and worth sharing. Good luck and blessings in your human rights endeavors!

Darren Bunton

zoneziwoh's picture

Ken Booth Article

Hi Bunton, I just uploaded the article on my journal. You can read here @ http://www.worldpulse.com/files/upload/1721/kenboothsecurityandselfrefle...

http://www.worldpulse.com/node/39321

I hope you will enjoy his article.

Stay Blessed

Zoneziwoh

Blog: http://zofem.blogspot.com/

facebook: Zoneziwoh

twitter: @ZoFem

dbunton's picture

Jan,It is encouraging when

Jan,

It is encouraging when there are people drawn to a common cause from which we ALL benefit. I think standing up for a cause is just like learning to stand up to walk. Our progress is sometimes slow but assertive. I didn't say physically strong, because physical strength is not always the source of successfully standing. Sometimes we have to lean on someone or something in order to gain our balance. Justice holds balance in her hands.

Darren Bunton

pheebsabroad's picture

Awesome!

It is wonderful that you speak not only for men, but for women as well. Equality is not just about pay scales and opportunities it is also about understanding and acceptance. Being a leader and a voice for the victims of domestic violence is a challenging and I applaud your efforts not just for yourself, but for your daughters and for others too.

Pheobe

dbunton's picture

Awesome back!

Pheobe,

Growing up with five sisters, being a dad of four girls, and having a host of nieces, I didn't veer too far off the balance of femininity, which I have "realized" is so important for us men. I don't place blame on the patriarchal systems in place in most all societies for the over-masculinization of men, yet I don't think there are enough outlets/programs providing "sensitivity" activities for men. As a result, those of us who are active connect with activators like the members here. Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to learning more from you and the members here on WP, while learning more about myself :)

Darren Bunton

ccontreras's picture

Encouraging

Hi Darren,
It was nice to read your story! I am glad that you shared with us your own experience of abuse and survival. I think it's important to realize that not only women can suffer of abusive relationships. I wish you the very best on your important journey! :-)
Cynthia

"I embrace emerging experience. I am a butterfly. Not a butterfly collector." - Stafford

dbunton's picture

Hello Cynthia, Thanks for the

Hello Cynthia,

Thanks for the inspiring words. I am encouraged by people like yourself who provide support and motivation.

"Culture should not deny the universalism of human rights". - Ken Booth

And kind wishes to you Cynthia!

Darren

Darren Bunton

Celine's picture

Awesome

Hello Darren,

Your writing is awesome and inspiring. If 50% of men around the world get deeply involved the way you do and make a self assessment, reflect on their relationship with the female colleagues / partners / associates, just as you do, the reshape in thinking will facilitate the urgent need to erode patriarchy and stereotypical behaviors in the societies. You realized that human rights are for every human hence retraced your behavior and thinking, which boil down to the fact that your four daughters have same right as other boy children, just as saying that your sisters have the same right as you do, your nieces have rights as your nephews. You are already instituting a 'culture' of Equality, Acceptance, Opportunities and most important, Sensitivity while treating a fellow human. If you live your talk, dear Darren, your lineage is already setting an example. We must not necessarily have to be 'feminist' to be guided by the above principles, which I think are ethical.

Right thinking men like you are so much needed in Africa to sensitize other men on this sensitive and important issue. I wish there will be avenue for such. During a session on women and children, at our just concluded Civil Societies' Conference aimed at deliberating my nations National Action Plan on human rights and the recent UN Periodic Periodic Review of the human rights situation, a human rights lawyer (Man) told me that women asking for equal treatment as men is like creating space for subjugation of men, and that it is contrary to social pact regarding women / men relationship both in the public and domestic sphere.

Thank you for sharing your experience. The world need more men like you.

Celine.

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