Is It What I Wanted? Or What I hoped?
I want to live without breathing the dusts of carpets. Carpets which make me feel older than ever. I feel as I am 99, but my mother says that I am 16 especially to the person who comes to our home with marriage proposals. So when is the time for me to go to school? I wish I could study. I wish I had friends. I wish I could wear new clothes instead of old clothes of my two elder sisters. I will take these wishes with me to my grave, because I am a girl. Who knows that I want to study so that tomorrow I will not have to obey anyone who just knows how to order? Oh destiny! Let me be free because I need what doesn’t have a penny importance for you. I want to go to school like Naveed. I want to learn like him instead of washing his clothes, cooking him as delicious food as I can, and polishing his shoes so that he can walk proudly. Just tell me, has the destiny assigned me a daughter or the servant of my family? Has God said that I should stay home till I get ruined? Or is that you? If you, do you have anything more than me that has made you superior so that you can treat me like this? My life has become all questions which make me crazy inside. I wish I could ask these questions and get my answers without any painful word or slap. Is it my destiny to make carpet and then when my time is up, to go for being a servant of a creature named ‘husband’ and endure every moment of life till the time I die…Oh destiny…Where is your justice…?