Diplomats and hidden violence. Males: patriarchy destroys you, love and society
Couples and especially well- to -do women do not speak up against domestic violence
Let me start from a different angle.. I was listening to a couple who founded a school called Beulah in Western Kenya, Bungoma talking about how they help girls who drop out of school by getting them back into their school. I was very impressed.
Hearing their love and dedication in their voices, only one thing seemed to be missing. I asked a question which surprised me too.. I asked what they were doing in the same village for the boys.. the boy child. Their reply was swift. Actually, I had missed to note that there were some boys somewhere in the photos.. in the background.
You see we all care very much for the girl child. There is no doubt about that. I am a real activist for women rights. However, no matter how we move to help the girl child.. if boys who are traumatised by poverty, fatherhood at 14 or 16, alcohol and drug abuse and societies that do not give them hope abound, we lose it.
The quality of fatherhood in many parts of the world is poor. In Kenya, it is very poor. There is a need to tackle this issue in many parts of the world. However, it appears that when women are who are abused take the matter in their hands, they can be more dangerous than we ever thought. Many males are enduring pain for the sake of being seen to be in charge. They have not learnt to accept that they too can have problems and that they need to speak up.
When this Nigerian diplomatic couple came into the news for domestic violence I was not surprised. Many well to do couples do not speak out against or about domestic violence. Shall we make it agains violence if we see it a woman's problem?
In this case, no one can judge but so much seems to have gone wrong already and the couple were not looking for help until blood whether from the shoe rack or from someone's blow was already pouring!
Surely, to be masculine can never mean not to complain. Not to say things are wrong.. Neither can to be married and to belong to what we seem to see as high society.