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I have come to have a very strong respect for this person called woman…to all women WOMAN POWER! I RESPECT YOU ALL!

From the time you are born God knew why he had to create you a woman and not a man. He knew that you could handle things better than the man. hats why a woman gives birth enduring the very long and very painful labor pains and still not die from them and not a man.. That’s why a woman is capable of handling her monthly menstrual periods without struggle and strain, that why God created them with breasts and not men since he knew that they would take good care of the babies than men. that’s why a woman like Hillary Clinton big ups to her is still able to stand by her husband maintain class and dignity in spite of him being said to be having relationships outside marriage…taking the courage to run for the oval office in a man domineering teritory..That is a woman! a woman like Mitchell Obama standing by her husband. Why do you think Barrack won the election? Because his wife gave him the strength….I respects me so much that nothing can bring me down NOTHING!

Yesterday I left the office at around the way people I got a promotion! Am earning better, I HAVE MY OWN COMPUTER at work I don’t have to fight over one!!!but I still need the laptop…I was in a good mood…I thought that I could do a little shopping before I went home since my 6year old son was going for a trip today and he wanted to carry with him some snacks...when I called my husband I realized that he was already drunk for crying out loud we are tight on finances and on top of that he is HIV+.. That really pissed me off and I chose not to use whatever cash I had since I dint know how situation could turn out at home. on reaching home around 8.00pm the guy was so drunk which really made me mad I decided not to talk much about his drinking and that I would sough out issues with him today morning…so as usual. I start with the baby knowing how he has been if he is o.k. then talk to my elder son about his trip today which he really looked forward to and then plan for what we would have for dinner and put my expertise in the kitchen…after making dinner…ken suddenly starts to become a nag to every one in the house including the house help. it gets so irritating to some level I just decide enough with the drama and decides to go to bed with out eating…my sleep was shot lived…my nagging husband comes in claiming that I don’t respect him…that he can not eat alone while am sleeping which makes me very sick. and we start exchanging words…at some point he hits me…now things are out of hand….he wants me out of the house he claims that that is his house and that until I get to Kern on how to respect him am out of that house…at that time its close to midnight and am wounding on where to go…am afraid that if I live my son might not go for his trip…i dint live but I really cried. I was wondering what his problem could possibly be. Dint he fear for his life? dint he love me anymore? is he on a self destruction mission? I don’t know…baby and I had to depend the night in my sons room…today morning the house help says that she cant stand him and that she wants to live…you know I have had it. I will be telling you when am moving out. it will be swift and smart…as I told him yesterday that HIV will not threaten of killing me and again him I will have to forgo one…and obviously its him…For HIV its in my blood I cant do anything about it as for him I can…its time…I am a woman and I have the strength….that’s why it had to be me living positively since God knew that I could handle it and now he know that I can handling bringing up my kids in a sane environment and not twitch…I know I will. I know I can.




Dave Alexander's picture

I Believe You Can

Hello Tabby,

I believe you can. I believe you are guided, and that you can make a safer and better place for your family. Moving wisely, moving with mental and emotional clarity, moving in Faith -- these you can do.

I do not know much about the Bible, but a friend of mine shared with me a section about women and men. What she shared with me said that women should treat men like God when the men treat women like God would treat all creatures. It does not say much about what happens when the mutual God-like behaviors are not happening. For me, God wants us safe, loved, and happy. If that is not happening at home, then "home" is no longer a home, it is time renegotiate the arrangement or move on.

I know that you will know when the negotiation is over and the moving-on is best.

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

JMKELLAM's picture

Yes You Can!


You are strong woman. A working mother of two. You know what is best for you and your children and if it is getting out of the house with them then I believe you can do it. You have accomplished a lot in your life on your own and you can go further. I can't imagine the situation you are in but I'm sure it must be difficult. I respect you for reaching out and telling us this story. I support you in spirit.

Wishing you the world,

Jenna Kellam

sallyreb's picture

You are strong and wise

Dear Tabby,

You are so strong and wise, I know that you are able to do what ever you set your mind to doing. You deserve to be safe and secure in your home and your children deserve the same safety. I know that you work very hard (congratulations on your promotion) and do all you can to care for your children. You know what is best for your family. I believe in you.

Thinking of you,

jadefrank's picture

Strength of a woman, especially Tabby

Dear Tabby,

Again, I am moved by your words and feel so privileged to read them and to know you here on PulseWire. Everyday I struggle to find my own way and my own path in life. And when I read about the struggles that you endure daily and the courageous path that you follow to move through those struggles, I am truly inspired.

First of all, congratulations on the new computer at work! It must be nice to have your own computer to use, so that you can be of more service to your organization and to those who you influence and help through email.

And thank you for reminding all of us of those qualities that women are blessed with. While we continue to live in a male dominated world, it is women who carry a majority of life's burdens and women who give life and nurture life. And while our burdens are great, I also believe that it's a blessing to be a woman and I wouldn't want to change my gender for anything.

As for your husband and the safety of you and your family - I trust that you will do what is best for them as you always have. I do not worry for the fate of your children because they have an amazing mother who not only gives them love and support, but who is shaping their characters to become the kinds of people that our world needs most - strong, loving and smart. I do worry for you though. Not for your lack of strength, love or courage, but for your husband's physical strength and his ability to hurt you.

It's difficult to be so far from you Tabby and to read of your current situation without being able to physically help. But I want you to know that I am thinking of you and sending currents of love your way.


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