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beatings of my heart

Beat, beat, beat, beat goes my heart. It's steady and I am glad. I am also glad I ate a mango today. It's sweet and delicious and good for me too. I remember not liking mangos very much when I was younger. They were too grainy I thought; I didn't like how their yellow threads got stuck in my teeth when I tried to eat them. My cousin Hans brought some when we were camping one summer. He had just returned from two years in the Peace Corps in Jamaica. I don't know anything about his time in Jamaica. He brought back Rasta-colored jewellery and a fondness for tropical fruit. How easily it seems our material culture incorporates foreign goods, but can it as easily understand the rhythms of life that surround the mango tree under which a jewellery-making Rasta man sits? I think that must be where the imagination comes in...if we put our minds to it, we can see Jamaica, the mango tree, the Rasta man and his jewellery too. Maybe we can even hear the music he listens to and see the people who pass him by. It might be tough, but we must try. Literature can help us with this; it takes us to wonderful far-off places where everything seems so different and yet, somehow, amazingly tangible, even understandable. I think I could tell good stories if I put my mind to it and set my heart on it. I love reading stories, I love writing and I want to share. I really do. You might not believe me because you probably haven't seen me write much of anything beyond papers for school in a while. I always have the same excuse: I am afraid. I am sorry I even wrote that now because I am truly, utterly tired of this excuse. I don't think it even makes sense anymore. I am a capable, talented woman who loves the world and is excited and inspired by all its possibilities. This woman can see the strengths in others, so why doesn't she admit that she can see the strength in herself as well? Because she certainly does. She does. She does. She does. Very soon she will forget the cruel phrase 'fear of failure' was ever coined. :)

Comments

My dear EKG, to be frank with you i really liked your "Beatings of my heart", it really touched me. You are an amzing person for sure, you inspired me, you have the ego to go on & on & on & nothing will stop you as long you are determined & you believe in yourself.
Hey, why are you limiting yourself with fear. I, also used to fear the unknown, to fear the future, but once i gave my life to God, believe me...i am now unstoppable! I dont care about my background, i dont care about my financial stability, i dont care about my limitations...i have come to believe that i am the WORLD'S GREATEST & you too, you are the WORLD'S GREATEST if you just believe in yourself & notably in Jesus Christ. If you only knew that i founded a charity organization when i had nothing & together with my pals (other members), though at the moment, we dont have any concrete donors & that the organization is still to be registered as an NGO, we are determined to make it happen for the benefit of the orphans & vulnerable children (OVCs). Nothing can stop you also & i mean it. Its just a matter of time, i believe very soon, you will be involved in amazing charity work. Imagine all that power & authority you command e.g. when you speak, your family/friends listens to you, when you suggets to go out for fun, your friends/family take heed & do as you say. Fine, dont you think that it all came naturally to you? No No No, i believe its a gift from God! Fine, just imagine using that God given authourity to unite friends & family members for the charity work!!!

Thanx my dear,

Romeo Tafadzwa Makwinye

Romeo Tafadzwa Makwinye

Emily Garcia's picture

Thank you!!!

Thank you, Romeo T, for your wonderfully kind and encouraging words and thank you for sharing your story with me. You are an inspiration and I appreciate so much the work you do to help the orphans and the vulnerable children living in your community. You are perfectly right that I am powerful, have received many gifts and have so much to give...and that as long as I am determined and believe in myself I can help others too.
It was such a great surprise receiving your message. I hope to hear more from you. I know you will find the support you need to continue your charity work. Yes, you will make it happen!

All the best, my friend,

Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

Emily Garcia's picture

Thank you!!!

:)

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

meg.peterson's picture

I loved your story and

I loved your story and imagery about Jamaica!!! You are a phenomenal storyteller! That's the Emily I know and love so dearly. I'm glad I stumbled upon this today. Love you chica!

Emily Garcia's picture

Hey hey!

What a wonderful surprise seeing you here today! <3 Thank you for your sweet note and all the encouragement! Ha ha..how funny you found this. I forget that I'm not as tucked away here on PulseWire as I sometimes think I am. Hope you're having a beautiful day! xoxo

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

Monica Clarke's picture

Hi from Monica in France

Dear Emily

I read your journal today, and thought how very intuitive and exciting you sound as a person. I also then read the end of the above story and thought, what a shame that Emily does not see fear of failure as a strength, not as a weakness.

You know, I feel that fear is a positive, realistic, objective reaction, unlike emotions which are subjective. I think that we need to embrace fear and love it and honour it for what it is: a traffic light to say when we should stop, when we should run, when we can stand and fight.

And above all, I see the fear of failure as even more positive. I think that at school those children who are very scared and, despite their fear, try, fail and try, then fear and try again and sometimes again and again - before they succeed, - those are the children who should be given the accolades. For they prove that in later life they will likewise continue through fear and keep trying and they will be the ones who will have the strong backs when they fail, and will make things happen when others who expect immediate success would have given up. A nd others who have learned to ignore fear because they think it shows weakness to admit to being afraid of failure - when those others would already have given up long ago, the kids who at a young age respect fear and are afraid of failure are the ones who will make the world go round.

I think you are one of them.

Good luck with your studies, Emily. I'm sending you a private message in response to your request sent to me earlier.

With lots of loving from Monica in France

Monica Clarke, Writer & Storyteller, bringing human rights alive.
I wish you 'Nangamso', that is: May you continue to do the good work which you do so well.
(A blessing from my ancestors, the Khoikhoi, the first people of South Africa).

PeopleWeaver's picture

Sweet Girl

Sweet Girl, don't be afraid. You write beautifully. Take a risk and grace us with more words.

Jeanne

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