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Women should not laugh,only whores do so!!

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I born and grown up from small village of mid eastern part of Nepal. Along with the turning pages of life I experienced different taste of life. Life’s ups and downs have given a lot of variety in thoughts, feelings and knowledge’s.
As my parent said the construction of road was started from the same year when I was born. I first saw the vehicle when I was 9 years old. I used to walk 3 hours per day for persuing my school education. More over at that time girls were very rare to go to school due to the conservative social norms. I celebrated the very first joy of seeing electricity when I was at 8 grades. Before then we used to burn TUKI (A small kerosene lamp) at night to study.
Since my childhood literature was my passion, my joy, my recreation. I used to write poems, song, story, and essay during my school and college days (These days I do write songs). I used to study many novels in my early ages. When I was at 4/5 grade, I already had finished many novels like; Maaitighar (Maternal home), Anuradha, Muna madan, Pheri kahile bhet hola!( when will we meet again) and some Hindi novel too. All those I read were stolen from my brother’s collections.
One day I took a book written by the great Poet Late Bhanubhakta Acharya. I turned the pages and my glance caught a line that was” hasnu kadapi hunna nari harule, veshya hunya hasdachhan” ( Women should not laugh ,only whores do so in Nepali). At that moment I felt blank, what does it say!! Whores!!! What is it!! But my childhood knowledge, I did not take it seriously but it always struck my heart. One day my father also scolded me saying “ chhori manchhe bhayara thulo sworle hasnu hunna bhanne thah chhaina??” means don’t you know, being a daughter you should not laugh loudly?? Oh my god since then I started brain storming about the sentence I read before. I was confused, why we daughters are not allowed to laugh, though we all are from the same womb, every mother carry for nine long month weather daughter or son. Why! Why! Why! Since then I have not the praising feeling to Poet Bhanubhakta though he was a far-famed poet during his time and still country celebrates his birthday. Actually, I have a mental agony as he expressed his thought of biasness in his literatures.
Today, I was reading a book (Nepali Women Rising) for my thesis literature review I again caught this line and it made me obliged to write. I cannot imagine how the hell like situation was tolerated by women at that time!
Actually, Poet has reflected the existing social values during his period. But I always am pained by many of his sentences (specially this above mentioned line) and do cry with myself.

I n my opinion, UNTIL WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY WE CANNOT FEEL THE FREEDOM OF LIFE .

Lastly,I request to all of my WP sisters to read it with correction,, if any mistakes in my English!!
Love you all.

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Comments

Sarvina's picture

Nice life story piece!

Wonderful! I have learned from your experience - you are an amazing lady whom I have ever known. I have no idea that you became a poetry, song writer since you were young. Wow...I am so proud of you didi! Keep up your good work.

Your English is already good but just need to try more and more as me too as we need to write more and more to improve our English writing:)

Love,

Sarvina

Regards,

Sarvina from Cambodia
VOF 2011 Correspondent

usha kc's picture

Dear You always inspires me

Dear You always inspires me dear,, I am proud to have you in my life through WP. Thank you so much for words of your heart.
You too is an amazing !! in such a younger age you have done a lot of great things for society. hats off to you!

luv u , gud de.

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thanks for sharing. It's

Thanks for sharing. It's reallyy sad and let us all work together to correct such mistakes.

Love

Nusrat

usha kc's picture

Dear Nusrat, thank you so

Dear Nusrat, thank you so much for your commnets . Sure, let's work together!!!!!

Fungai Machirori's picture

Wow!!!!

"In my opinion, until, women are not allowed to laugh and men are not allowed to cry we cannot feel the freedom of life"

This is POWERFUL Usha!!!! Wow! I am speechless! Thank you for writing this. The same thing happens in Zimbabwe. If you laught too much or too loudly, people say it is like laughing like a woman with no morals. Why should laughing aloud ever be a bad thing?! Laughter is the best music ever! And yes, men should cry too! Our world just makes life so complicated. Thank you again for this!

from today i live out of my imagination
i am more than my yesterday
tomorrow i plant a new seed
nothing that lies behind easy
nothing that is ahead real
my within is all i have today
*Napo Masheane*

usha kc's picture

Fungai,, my dear You made me

Fungai,, my dear You made me speachless thorugh your such a praising words. You are my real inspiration dear.

Yup friend, " laughter " has been made like dowery of men. We women always should cry,,,cry and cry for even very small things!! but until when!!!!! tolerating has already been crossed the boundry . now it's the time to wake up for make our voice united!
love you. have a good time. keep laughing!!

Amei's picture

Hello Usha

'UNTIL WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY WE CANNOT FEEL THE FREEDOM OF LIFE" - Usha. Very true, and unless we (men/women) are allowed to express emotions there is no freedom for the souls.

I am not stopping my laughs neither my giggles even if I turn 120...LOL

Thanks for sharing Usha ... ("I'm lovin it" McDonald) ... love u and have a good laugh for silly giggles.

Cheers,
Amei

usha kc's picture

Thank you dear, my pleasure

Thank you dear, my pleasure to have your comments on my writtings.

by the way, hopping for seeing each other!!
have safe journey!!

andsoitis927's picture

I am new to the blog, and I

I am new to the blog, and I love reading such words of personal past and inspiration!

"UNTIL WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY WE CANNOT FEEL THE FREEDOM OF LIFE"

What a blatant yet eloquent way of saying such a statement! I statement that seems so obvious to so many yet almost taboo.

Thank you for what you do!

-Amanda

usha kc's picture

dear Amanda,, first of all I

dear Amanda,, first of all I would like to welcome in this WP blog. You soon will feel that World Pulse is an amazing space where we can share,view and comments on many many experiences,feelings, thoughts.
By the way thank you very much for your good words on my writting.

looking forward to have many writtings from your side too.

UNTIL WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY WE CANNOT FEEL THE FREEDOM OF LIFE .

Thank you for this Usha!

usha kc's picture

Dear Tuula,, thank you very

Dear Tuula,, thank you very much for giving your valuable time to read and your words to me.

Jency's picture

True

Hi Usha,

In the southern part of India where I live also we have a saying that 'women should not be HEARD', meaning, we should not talk or laugh aloud. But now times are changing and those of us in cities do not face such restrictions. But even among the educated there are prejudices like wearing your saree in a certain way or a certain gesture that are frowned upon.

Rgds
Jency
Chennai

usha kc's picture

Hi Jency,, thank so much dear

Hi Jency,, thank so much dear for comments and writting your feelings too.

love you sis.

chairman's picture

A Bitter Truth

Such an inspirational experience...we all must learn lessons from her experience and strive for the betterment of the society at large..by treating men and women equally. :)

usha kc's picture

thanx so much for comment.

thanx so much for comment.

meherun1's picture

Good writing!

Hay! I liked the simple way you have written about your childhood ... This is almost the same with in our society...Women were not allowed laugh or talk loudly.. they supposed to talk in a hushed voice that can not be hared outside their rooms... But things are changing :) we do laugh loud now ! :D

and I loved this line - "UNTIL WOMEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LAUGH AND MEN ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRY WE CANNOT FEEL THE FREEDOM OF LIFE"

Pooja Pant's picture

Great story

Hi Usha,
This story conveys fantastically what almost every South Asian woman probably has been through at a given point in her life.
The choice is eventually ours to make..will we break the chains and laugh as loudly as we want or will we stay silent giving in to the oppressive community. I am glad you chose to laugh as so did I.

Pooja

usha kc's picture

Dear Puja thank you so much

Dear Puja
thank you so much for reading this post and making comments.

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