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global funds

dear friends,

i am very encouraged with your comments thank you ALL.i am glad to know that im not talking to myself...ha..ha..hugs and kisses from me.i had a wonderful weekend as i told you i have learnt to take each day at a time and weekends are special days with my family.its the days that i learn of my sons friends,teachers,give time to my husband and the baby and also catch up with details in my house with the house help.so are my weekends and ofcorse Sundays are the days that i set for God to thank him for the far that he has taken me,to ask him for guidance,strength,love,wisdom,knowledge and for him to always show and guide me on my next move in my life.

Saturday news got me totaly unprepared the headline that day on the evening news was that KENYA FROZZEN GLOBAL FUNDS.i dont know if anyone knows the impact that will be felt back here.i could not belive it!people are dying everyday..as we are speaking i have two relatives from the same family that passed away last week due to HIV related complications.things are bad here in kenya.i understand that they must be having there reasons as to why they froze the funds which comes back to you and me i am pained when people loose there integrety.what do i mean?people who have been entrusted with this funds just find away of getting rich at other peoples expence..peoples lives.its so diminishing and annoing just thinking about it.we have totaly lost it...$50 is money that would sustaine a family here in kenya for at least a month yet some individuals would find it as an easy way of making first cash...i am ashamed and dissapointeed.

i hope that things will be made right and soon before things get out of controll..

personaly im on ARV's that i take every morning and evening and at the moment many of us get them for free thanks to the global funds..before medication was really costly and many people dint have an option but die..but now there is hope..please dont take that hope away from us.please..im speaking for us out there in the villeges,im speaking for a volunteer like me who is working to help not to get funds who at times have to struggle to make ends meet,im speaking for that young person who just discovered there status,im speaking for those little angles that are born HIV+.im speaking for us that are affected and apreciate your help.

i hope some one out there will read this and make sure that help reaches where its needed.

have a HIV free day!

tabby.

Comments

Dave Alexander's picture

Deeply Sorry

Hello Tabby,

I am deeply sorry to hear that corruption has again dusrupted the flow of money for medications and other support. This is not the first time. I also understand the needs of the funding sources to use their power to influence social change that will better secure larger sustained flow in the future. Somehow, the root of great suffering seems always to come from the desire of a few to live at the expense of the largely innocent masses.

It happens everywhere I look. Many years ago I worked with a program that was intended to make education more available to those in poverty in my former state of New Mexico, USA. The local university won a multi-million dollar grant by pledging to move 75% of the funds directly to the schools and students. In each annual audit, they had only moved 25% of the funds through taking the other 75% for themselves. I could not understand why.

Still, it always seems to be the less fortunate who suffer as the people in the "systems" get richer and richer, overtly corrupt or not. I could tell from your previous post that you are an amazing person, full of love and life, even being HIV+. Somehow you navigated the condition to a place of greater awareness, connection, and generosity. This is your gift, no matter what happens, stay with the gift for as long as you can. Change as many lives, love as many people, with your gift. Once called upon to shine and share, no matter how viscerally assaulted we are by other things, we must continue.

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

tabby's picture

global fund

hi Dave im glad that someone out there understands but i guess im feeling the heat already...this means loosing more lives...and especially in the rural areas...

currently im working as a volunteer but am hoping that God will take me in on new levels where i could be much of help to the society..change starts with you somebody said then the people around you.for the meantime thats what im doing making sure that there is change around me....

im hoping at some point i could represent the HIV+ people in kenya anywhere in the world.

one thing that you are correct about me i am beautiful...in spite of me being +.i have promised myself to use that beauty to change lives around...i know i can and i know i will..

take care & hope to hear from you again and again and again and again..............

always

Tabby.

Dave Alexander's picture

Being Called

Hello Tabby,

I do not know why the burdens each of us carry arrive upon our backs. But I do know that when we carry them with Grace, when we carry them because we can, when we stand more time than we fall, we change the world step by step. Mostly it feels like centimeter-by-centimeter, but that is my impatience and ignorance, it could be kilometer-by-kilometer. Only God can see the affect I have.

I know that God called upon me to be part of PulseWire. Daily I do not know why. Still, if there is one thing I have to offer it is the perfect understanding that peace begins inside us, that change begins inside us, that the condition of world originates from inside us. I have had only two AIDS related deaths in my life experience and neither were close to me. But one, Allen, I will always remember. He was the gentlest of beings I have ever known, and in that relaxed and peaceful state, he lived very long as HIV+ -- we know at least eighteen years. It begins inside us.

I am certain that God has already called upon you. If you do not yet feel or see-clearly the calling, then (in my experience) you are in preparation. I cannot know what your preparation will be like, but I know that every other time I have been called, I first had to take better care of myself, bring The Divine more fully into my life, strengthen my commitment to my Faith, and be patient until my next understanding, or call to action, arrived. I always feel like I am "ready" before I am, and I always feel enormously "unready" when the calling is actually made clear to me.

Funny how it works :-)

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Lisa's picture

the freeze in Kenya

Tabby, I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your relatives. This sounds like a very scary situation. I was reading that there are around 230,000* Kenyans who are on ARV's. That is an incredible number of people who will be affected by the freeze. Please keep us updated on the global fund in Kenya and how the freeze is affecting yourself, your work, and other positive people there.

With warmth and hope,

Lisa

* http://www.nation.co.ke/News/-/1056/485942/-/item/0/-/14i94y5/-/index.html

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