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Christmas is just around the corner and a lot has happened to me this year. Most of what has happened has brought good news to me. Some of it has brought a feeling of despair, like the issue of having failed to join college this year. As 2010 slowly and gradually comes to an end I can't lie that many were the times I wished I would get the financial breakthrough I needed to enable me go to college. I would be lying if I said I was feeling okay.

You don't really feel okay when you have lost an opportunity, do you?

So I am thinking of what really brings happiness. I am thinking of where to get real happiness. I look back at the things that have happened to me this year. A lot of it brought lots of happiness in my life. But then again, the happiness didn't last that long. Something always happened to bring my motivation tumbling down. I sought happiness from people, friends and colleagues at work and believe it or not, I got disappointed most of the time. Looking back I realize the only source of real happiness doesn't come from without. It comes from deep within oneself. I have realized that no one will give me happiness unless I can find it deep within me. That is why I choose to be happy, to have joy and feel grateful for the things that have worked this year.

Failing to go to college is just a blip. I have a lot of other things and happenings I am grateful for. I am blessed. I am happy because I have discovered the real source of happiness. It is having joy. That is more important and long lasting than mere happiness. So tonight I am heading home after a long day knowing I have got lots to be overjoyed about. Oh, I haven't told you.... Gloria, my computer is finally finding a human replacement in the name of a lovely and beautiful woman I spent the whole weekend with. It is no wonder my PC chose to reboot itself when the girl came home for the weekend. All in all, I am overjoyed and grateful.

My life is a song, the way it should always be!

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