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no contact with my correspondent

Has anyone else had trouble connecting with her Correspondent? I've tried my best to be enthusiastic and encourage her to contact me via several emails over the past month. Now I realize that today is the day she's supposed to have a first draft sent to me, and except for a brief text message (when we were both living in the same country; I'm back in the U.S. now), I haven't heard a single response.

I've heard via her VOF Mentor that my Correspondent is extremely busy right now. While I know she may not have Internet access in her home, I'm very familiar with her country (Morocco) and know that Internet cafes are more than plentiful. I don't really know what to do at this point. She's a fantastic writer with a specific goal, and I so want to help her succeed. Any thoughts or advice?

Many thanks, and best of luck to all of you and your Correspondents!

Becki Roberts


laurabstull's picture

Also open for advice....

Hi Becki,

While I don't have any particular advice, I too am hoping to get suggestions from others about connecting with our correspondent. I've sent out several messages over several different methods of communication (Gmail, Skype, Facebook), and I've received very little response.

I did finally get a draft of her first assignment yesterday, so I know she's at least continuing with the trainings and assignments as expected. But I was kind of hoping to be more of a resource/support for her and build a rapport, and I've gotten no response or interest in that regard.

I sent an email this a.m. to my correspondent's Empowerment Mentor, and she hasn't had much success either. It seems like we're both working on connecting with her, but maybe you all have other suggestions? And Becki, maybe chatting with your correspondent's Empowerment Mentor would help, it definitely makes me feel a bit better about not yet forming a connection.

I would love to hear what else has worked for you all, hope this finds you well and happy holidays!


CoachMarcie's picture

Hang in there


Last year I was in the same position. I think it's a good idea to email your correspondent's Mentor too. This way you know if the Mentor is in the same situation as you. Just know that you effort is what really matters. Read her journal and the assignments and respond in email. Sometimes all we can do is be there if and when the women need us. I ended up being a Listener last year due to not being able to connect with my correspondent. Keep the faith and hang in there.

You may just want to email Rachael or Scott and offer an assistant they may need such as being a Listener and provide feedback. Trust me it was a great feeling to just assist in anyway!



Sarah Whitten-Grigsby's picture

Understandable Frustration

Hello, One and All,

Becki and Laura, your frustration is completely understandable. I agree heartily with Marcie that all you can do is keep letting her know you are there for her. Beyond that, it's up to her to fulfill the facet of this process which, for her, does include connecting with you. Perhaps it will take some correspondents longer to realize the true benefit of accepting your very valuable support.

I also think, if you haven't already done so, consulting Rachael and/or Gail as Marcie suggests is the best idea, as well as contacting the Mentors. In the full knowledge that you may not get reciprocal contact for the moment, keep reaching out just to let her know that you're there. You are already doing everything you can and 'should' be doing.

All the best,

Sarah, Mentor (in NY)

Sarah Whitten-Grigsby

Rebecca Roberts's picture

Thanks for all the great

Thanks for all the great advice, friends! I have had good contact with my correspondent's mentor. I guess I'll try not to feel guilty and just keep letting her know that I'm here for her. Hope you are all having a fulfilling experience watching your mentees embark on this journey. Peace and love!


laurabstull's picture


As Becki already said, thank you very much for your suggestions. I will continue to make myself available and assist her in the editing process, and I do agree that that is the best we can do as editorial midwives.

I just finished reading her first assignment, and that was at least a great experience (she's a lovely writer). Best of luck to you all, thank you again for your advice/support!


Happy Holidays!

Sarah and Marcie, thank you for your advice to Laura and Becki. This is why we have you all connected in this PulseWire group, to ask questions and learn from others' experience!

Laura and Becki--I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time connecting with your respective correspondents. However, I wouldn't worry too much yet. There has been a lot for Correspondents to learn in the past month, including learning how to navigate the classroom, writing their first assignment and connecting with you and their mentors. I have a few suggestions (which echo the sentiments above):

1. Always feel free to contact me or Scott if you are having trouble connecting. Often times, an email from me can help spur the Correspondents into more communication.
2. Talk to your Correspondent's mentor! Sometimes, a relationship may take a while to develop with one person, but not with the other. This is fairly normal and I wouldn't be too worried just yet.
3. Continue to let your Correspondent know that you are there for her. Ultimately, it is up to her how much she gets out of this training and her relationship with her mentor and midwife--and this may not be what we expected or hoped for. As long as you are being responsive to her needs, don't feel guilty! She may not be able to connect with you as often as you hoped for, but that may be for a number of reasons including being busy, internet access, political strife (as our Correspondent Harmony is currently experiencing in the Ivory Coast). Just offer your time and energy and let her take it from there.

I will go ahead and contact both of your Correspondents and do a quick check in with them.

Kind regards,


"In every human heart there are a few passions that last a lifetime. They're with us from the moment we're born, and nothing can dilute their intensity." Rob Brezny

beth johnson's picture

In response to your cry for help


Rachel has offered to play a role in these circumstances, from what I learned in Saturday's 12/4 call.

I believe it's best to reach our to Rachel at this time in order to ascertain what is keeping your correspondent from connecting with you. It may be that she is having some good reason for not connecting or that Rachel needs to intervene to determine her level of commitment to the program.

I wish you resolution!

Nancy J. Siegel's picture

No contact

Dear Becki,
I, too, am having trouble connecting with my Correspondent. I understand, through Rachel, that she is still in the program and is wondering why she hasn't heard from me. I had, of course, sent her a couple of messages via email and Pulsewire and did not want to pester her. So, I would advise that it is better to err on the side of too many messages than to wait patiently, because evidently some messages do not get through.

Nancy Siegel

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