My left foot

vida.olive

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My left foot has been attacked by blood thirsty mosquitoes and my eyes feel hazy from a days worth of reading, my ears are clogged from the dairy in the yogurt and my scalp is amazingly dry; however, I feel ridiculously alive. Similar to a new birth but I don't feel new. I've slid out of some sort of shell that I created with my saliva. The immense surges of knowledge that keep plundering me while I roll ready for the next strike are filling me with adrenaline. The best feeling is the thought, to really be thinking.

We are all nature, there is no separation or void. All is full. Now I understand Bork's song, "All is full of love." Somewhere down the line or across the line people have forgotten this. While watching Vanguards documentary on ciudad Juarez, I remember the university students repeating, "There is no love here. This city holds no love." They kept talking about the loss of love because this space had been filled with violence. All of the worlds quarrels are tragedies over money.

Native Americans regard white people as the Paper Tribe-
"Everything has to be written down on paper. You need birth certificates, diplomas, and resumes to prove who you are and what you've done. Reports must be in triplicate- one goes to that office, another goes to this office, another goes over to the bathroom. You see, it's a WASTE."
I found it very interesting while reading that when "you're speaking to an Indian community, your gestures, mannerisms, presentation, and voice intonations mean nothing. The people sit with their eyes closed and listen for ethos, the ring of truth and honesty, within you."

I cry every time I watch Pans Labyrinth and while watching The Fall I was somewhat captivated by the labyrinth of despair. The never ending stairways, the bloody foot prints, her red, red dress. For a while I thought I was seriously crazy but I was just unable to understand my mind. I'm not talking about my brain, I'm talking about my mind. Every day it leaps bounds and I feel like I'm flying; soaring through all the man-made barriers and borders.

Through books and music, friendships and experience, I've come to know that all life is an experiment that must be experienced. I do not know that which I have not yet experienced. I can read an others' words and feel deep pleasures or pains but there is nothing that can substitute the smell of the sunrise.