Pain Pain Go Away
Pain Pain Go Away
Any slight hint of pain and we cry ouch. We want the pain to go away immediately no matter how little it is. And when in agony – wow – we wail and cry and it’s usually a terrible sight to behold.
Why don’t we like pain? Why do we want it to go away? Foolish question you may say. Pain is just that pain and no one in their right mind wants any kind of pain to stay. Or so you may think. Masochists I am told like pain and work to keep it as long as they can. What a terrible thing ….. I felt that way too until I learnt differently.
Pain can come in various ways; emotional, physical, imaginary, in ways you cant even think unless you have a psychological or medical degree. Pain can be external or internal, it can happen to humans and to animals and usually it’s not a good sign; in any circumstance.
It’s uncomfortable, it is not desired, wanted or even needed in most circumstances but it can be a great help. Excuse me…. yes it can be a tremendous help in certain cases. Let me explain. Pain as bad as it gets is not a desirable thing for anyone of us but it’s actually a discipline tool that works effectively more than any other when the chips are down and push comes to shove.
The pain of a terminal disease is a horrible experience. Anyone who has seen a loved one go through such a debilitating agony will testify to this fact. The pain of sickness is pain of the worst type. It continues until the person wastes away and eventually dies. In fact by this time death is a welcome release for all involved.
But it’s that of the heart that I am referring to here; the pain of a loss that cannot be remedied. When you lose a loved one through carelessness it’s such a terrible waste, so much so that when the pain of remorse hits you its gut wrenching. Divorce rates are increasing every day and I daresay some of the marriage break ups are regrets in the aftermath of the split.
Widowhood is total; the spouse can never be seen again. But with divorce you see each other especially where there are children involved at some point in time spouses will meet up over child related issues. Divorce is a pain that never goes away. The children are in pain, the couple is in pain, the new spouses (if any,) are in pain, the children from their previous relationships (if any,) are also in pain.
Its pain all round for all involved; pain of regret, pain of remorse, pain of the actual separation. Even if its pain that the choice you made didn’t work out, it will surely bring some measure of discomfort. It doesn’t matter whether you accept that you are in pain or determine to remain aggressive and continue to fight, the pain of loss of that relationship remains.
The pain of regret lasts a long time. If you were in an abusive and violent relationship, the scars would last a very very very long time. Many women wonder how they could have succumbed or been deceived into marrying abusive partners? Where did that nice, sweet, loving guy go? Regrets that come with anger.
What about the pain of denial? The woman who even denies that anything is wrong and who like the proverbial ostrich buries her head in the sand waiting for the problem to go away. A problem that will never disappear and so she lives in daily frustration.
Insanity creeps in unawares when faced with a consistent dose of pain. Heart pain, head pain, body pain, any type of pain; consistent doses of pain do make a person mad. Take it or leave it. Eventually the body gives up; the person either dies or become a vegetable when acceptable pain threshold is crossed.
When the mind and the body can no longer bear the pain, both shut down. Degeneration of relationships begins when we keep hurting one another. How do you apologise for something you did so intentionally, to harm and hurt the other person.
Betrayal is the worst form of pain as far as I am concerned. For the person you betray how do you explain the breech of trust and then you want to make up? Yet as Christians we are taught to forgive no matter what. The pain of unforgiveness releases the most terrible form of bitterness that creates murderers and destroyers.
The secret of making pain go away is the ability to forget. If you forgive and don’t forget, there is opportunity for the pain to return and attempt to reinstate itself. If you forget, there is the opportunity to work to find out the roots of the pain and bring it to a permanent end. This cannot be achieved as long as you keep remembering the agony of past hurts.
That’s the key to healing. Let go, forget, allow yourself to heal so when you start again, the past wont be there to haunt you or determine your future, rather it will be a closed door to which you will never return. It will be an experience from which you have learnt the mistakes you will never make again. It will be a blessed fountain that will never sour your life but refreshes at all times.
Why don’t you let pain, go away?